Kill Rock Stars Video Fanzine III (featuring various KRS artists) Kill Rock Stars DVD (2005) Available at Amazon

So, although Kill Rock Stars Video Fanzine III is consistent with the general vibe of the label's catalogue, fans should not feel even a little two-faced if they find that it just doesn't do it for them. It's a different medium, and for the most part they haven't learned their way around it. It's no one's fault but the various musicians-cum-filmmakers behind this project that, with a few exceptions, it misses the mark.

The DVD opens with the harmless but uninspiring recording of a live performance by well-dressed hardcore rockers Unwound. The most compelling part of the whole sequence is vocalist Justin Trosper's unconventional performance. Most of the time he hangs back from the microphone in his classy suit and tie, his hair parted just so, looking for all the world like the world's guitar-playingest daytrader. Then he approaches the microphone, opens his mouth, and dispels all such notions. It's too bad that there's only one camera, and thus one angle. It's not exactly inspiring cinematography.

Kleenex/LiLiPUT follow this underwhelming opening with a cute little road trip video, which, if it hails from the group's late-seventies heyday, may well be the DVD's most impressive rarity. Think about that while you watch Semiautomatic embarrass themselves with a video for "Wolfcentric" that's honestly laughable, both for its silly concept and mystifying execution. Semiautomatic's music isn't the most incredible thing you'll ever hear coming out of the Kill Rock Stars stables to begin with, but when it's accompanied by video footage of dogs -- apparently, judging from the song's lyrical content and the general atmosphere, going wild -- it becomes downright laughable. While the random home video footage of various canine miscreants is initially a fairly innocuous non sequitur, it descends into self parody when director Lauren Andrews edits footage of a dog to make it look like the dog is dancing to the music. The climax, though, is the real kicker, and the moment where you'll seriously begin to worry about the video fanzine as a whole: it's hundreds of people walking their perfectly calm, often adorable dogs in a park. Yeah, Semiautomatic, nothing is crazier and more out of control than a large group of pedestrians with pets. Wild!

Xiu Xiu's relatively good "20,000 Deaths for Eidelyn Gonzales, 20,000 Deaths for Jamie Peterson" comes next. One of the strongest clips of the bunch, it's as uncomfortable to watch as you'd expect a Xiu Xiu video to be. Thanks to choppy editing techniques and bizarre, fruit-based activities, it makes for a genuinely disturbing experience, proving that it's at least possible to make something powerful on no budget at all (though it probably helps if your primary goal is to make people wish they were dead).

The quality continues to fluctuate wildly throughout the rest of the fanzine. The Gossip gives a rousing live performance of "Don't (Make Waves)", xbxrx toss in some random samples from their incredibly, ludicrously, unbelievably messy live show, and Quix*o*tic demonstrate that they are a competent band with a monotonous live show and an eccentric, relentlessly conservative fashion sense.

Mecca Normal give us a compelling, incredibly abstract video for a fairly abstract song, with a series of shots rendered in two or three colors, often obscuring their subjects beyond recognition, but always resulting in evocative imagery. Deerhoof, unfortunately, disappoints -- not that you'd expect a lot from a video for the heartbreakingly brief throw-away "Dog on the Sidewalk", but it also serves to remind us of Semiautomatic's recent train wreck.

Juliana Luecking inflicts her short film, "Some People I Know #2 Truth", upon us. She puts us about two inches from Drew Barrios's face, then he makes a bit of an ass of himself, making ugly faces into the camera intermittently as he lets loose with a sophomoric rant about how meaningless language is. This is set to another Semiautomatic song, "Rock, Roll, and Whatnot", and intercut with shots of a Halloween costume parade. Little kids in cow costumes and dogs (!!) in ballerina outfits are all well and good, but you really have to question their relevance.

The Kill Rock Stars crew once again hit rock bottom with Men's Recovery Project. The song, "Million Man March", is passable, but the videos of guys in stupid masks dancing around like drunks, and the ridiculous "making of" video that follows, will really try your patience.

Just as you're about to give up on the whole mess, Sport Murphy come along with "Bird in the House" -- a quirky (okay, totally bizarre) song about a bird who was unfortunate enough to fly through the window, who's responsible, and what to do about it. Part vaudevillian pastiche, part nightmare, their unique sound is intriguing to the point where you'll probably wish you'd bought their album instead of the silly DVD. There are a few more pleasant surprises around the corner: Hella offer an elaborate, hypnotic claymation clip for "Biblical Violence", Stereo Total actually spent some money on the erotically charged, surreal animation accompanying "Liebe Zue Dritt", and the pAper chAse puts everyone to shame with their slick, sexy video for "Said The Spider To The Fly". It has a budget, it's a damn good song, and there's a narrative behind it that actually has some emotional thrust. This is what you've been waiting for! It's too bad Kill Rock Stars made it twentieth in the queue. And look! It's that charming Decemberists video for "The Soldiering Life" that's been available on the Net for months now! Too bad it had to wait till 21st. Matter of fact, all the really good stuff seems to be hiding back here. There's a cryptic, evocative Amps for Christ video for "Tower Song" and a predictably brief but hypnotic Mae Shi animation ("Vampire Beats") as well. Why wasn't all this stuff up front? Or at spread more evenly throughout the DVD? It would have made for a much more even experience.

Kill Rock Stars and 5RC are disproportionately endowed with talented musicians, but only the most obsessive of the labels' followers -- the people who actually own Gravy Train!!!!'s discography in full -- should even consider tossing down money for this mediocre DVD. Perhaps that's why they call it a fanzine.

-- Mike Meginnis