Succeeding In Music: A Business Handbook for Performers, Songwriters, Agents, Managers, & Promoters John Stiernberg Backbeat 208 pp. ISBN: 0-87930-702-1 Available from Powell's Books.

Perhaps a bit of background is apropos to explain my bitterness, it will make it even more humorous that, of everyone who might have received this book to review, I did. I am a musician, which is probably the only thing I have in common with this book. My band has released two albums, tours nationally, and for the most part, makes a little bit of money. It was all a bit of a mistake.

After ten years kicking around in bands, through high school and college, I found myself with a band that had landed a record deal. There certainly wasn't a business plan, let alone a multi-year business plan, with its projected profits and the like. We formed, we had fun, and eventually got recognized. It was hard work, but satisfying. If you don't like lugging your own equipment, booking your own tour, it is probably not a good idea to form a rock band. But I digress. Not once, ever, did anyone stop and ask whether we should write a mission statement.

But this is the kind of junk that this book wants you to waste your time doing. It is hard enough waking up for work Monday morning after playing three cities in three states over the weekend, without this crap. Honestly, if someone handed me a stack of forms (like this book has in great number) that I had to fill out to become a musician, I would never, ever play music. Instead of writing down songs, you'll be writing down customer demographics.

Here, then, is the rub. Who needs a book like this? I have never owned a record label, or worked as a booking agent. They might -- though everyone I know who does is a self starter. They knocked their heads against a wall until the wall gave. Better than half of what is described within this book is absolute filler: forms, math and jargon. There is a chapter on branding, another on knowing your customer, another on sales forces. I nearly threw this book away numerous times, if only for phrases like, "When in doubt, quantify." Oh, fuck off, please.

Most of all, though, much of the book is common sense. Of course you should make a t-shirt, and in so doing, a logo. But does this mean you should think in a larger sense about branding? No, I really don't think so. The (insert band name) candy bar? No. And although for ten minutes we considered packets of sugar to promote our record, I have to say: No! At the end of chapter on when to quit your day job, the criteria are listed. They actually include, as the number two need, that you have money to cover business and personal expenses. There is no other word to respond to such a statement except "Duh".

Sorely lacking is any discussion into music and the internet. The index in the back of the book lists MP3.COM twice. When looked up, both listings lead to reworded statistics from the other. This alone is enough to send this book into the trash.

Making music, starting a band, touring, and everything it entails, should be an adventure. When we first started, people tried to give us advice. My father, in particular, still calls to tell me his band never played for less than five hundred dollars, twenty years ago. My mom thinks I should write songs about different holidays. Really. While both are valid, the key here is that we figured out how to do this ourselves. You won't succeed in music by reading a book about management. You will succeed in music by making mistakes and correcting those mistakes. Pay attention, and you will learn something.

A more apt title for this book is How to Make Your Music Career into the Kind of Heartless Corporate Drudgery You were Trying to Get Away from in the First Place. Of course, that title doesn't have a very good ring to it. But if the infomercial worked for the Flowbee, it will work here too.

-- Matthew Gengler

"If you're passionate about music, Backbeat have the books for you": this is their slogan, and they live by it. Whether you're looking for books about instruments, performers, the making of music, or the history of artists and genres, this publisher provides some of the fairest, most evenhanded assessments in the world of music literature. They are home to the writings of Richie Unterberger, among many other of our finest music critics and authors.