This photo was borrowed from the Dismemberment Plan website because our pictures didn't come back in time to make the deadline. When we get our pictures, we'll replace this shot.

It was an unseasonably warm night in Chicago as I made my way to the Fireside Bowl. This wound up being a blessing in disguise, as we were forced to wait in line outside for the better part of twenty minutes as the staff busily readied the place for the second of two shows that night. The original start time for the show was 9:00 p.m., but it became clear things wouldn't be starting until much later.

The night's festivities also included a dance competition that would rewarded the winner with $3 and a CD from each of the performing bands. Rules were posted at the front door and everyone was eligible.

(We'll spare you the suspense -- Jason didn't enter it. -- Ed)

At around 10:00pm the first band took the stage -- not the Wicked Farleys as had previously been advertised, but NYC's spastically brilliant Turing Machine. And let me tell you, this talented three-piece played an inspired set of punk-meets-trance style extended friction jams in which tone, melody and dissonance all played equal roles. The crowd lapped up the mesmerizing snarl of Turing Machine's locked-in groove and danced about wildly. Mind you, they did so in an attempt to qualify for the aforementioned dance contest...which is certainly not to take away from Turing Machine's wonderful performance. It's just the simple fact of the matter.

There followed a lengthy and rather underwhelming set from Philadelphia's Franklin. Franklin are popular and obviously talented, and a majority of the crowd enjoyed them quite a lot, I just couldn't get into their performance. Instead, I picked up a few LPs from the house vendor, talked with some friends and then literally ran into Kleenex Girl Wonder's one-man-army, Graham Smith.

Writer's Embellishment: With a surprised scream, Graham toppled to the ground, his head striking the hard floor with a sickening thud. As blood began to pool around his shattered skull, it became clear that Japan, a nation united by their undying love of Kleenex Girl Wonder, would soon be declaring a nationwide day of mourning. Graham wouldn't be getting up again...ever.

"Isn't that Graham Smith?" a girl next to me asked.

"Uhh...yeah," I replied, trying to hide my shock and horror. Surely everyone in the room was staring at me by now? "Hey," I could imagine them yelling, "that guy just killed Graham Smith!" What had I done to deserve this?

"Man," the girl said, "he looks like shit."

I mimed the old "chugging a beer" gesture and she nodded knowingly. We talked for a few more minutes and she gave me her phone number, then left to find her roommate. By this point, Graham was getting pretty ripe, so I decided it was time to move closer to the stage. When I looked back at Graham, someone from Pitchfork was trying to interview him. End Writer's Embellishment.

At this point the tiny Fireside was filled to capacity, with many more people outside, unable to get in. Sweat dripped from the walls as everybody in the place desperately waited for the Dismemberment Plan's set to begin. After pushing my way to the front, I spotted all the members of Braid, as well as former Sarge frontwoman Elizabeth Elmore, hanging out stage-side. Seems this show had turned into quite the indie rock happening.

Finally, at about two clicks to midnight, the Plan were ready to begin. Lead singer Travis Morrison introduced the band and added, "We're from Washington D.C. and we're not here to fuck around!" With that, the band launched into a note-perfect version of "A Life of Possibilities," which sent the crowd (myself included) into absolute rapture. From there the set sailed along perfectly, with a venomously perfect version of "What Do You Want Me to Say?", the freaky siren-blaring hip-hop funk-out of new single "The Dismemberment Plan Gets Rich" and a gorgeous reading of the sentimentally bleeping "Spider in the Snow."

The show's true highlight came in two parts. First was the Plan's awesomely intense version of "You are Invited," during which the crowd drowned out Morrison during the hectic choruses. This was followed by an insanely crunching, chaotically energetic "Gyroscope," which caused band and audience members alike to bound up and down with glee.

With the set winding down, it was time to pick the winner of the dance competition. Travis and the other members of the Plan selected four semi-finalists -- or so they thought. People being plucked out of the crowd were not sure who the Plan were pointing at, so there wound up being six semi-finalists, with several other excited fans climbing onto the stage to strut their stuff in hopes of winning the prize. As the band ripped into the final song of their regular set (I can't for the life of me remember the title), the dancin' fool semi-finalists began gyrating and doing their thang on stage. Two people stuck out: one dude in leather pants, no shirt and a strange substance on his chest, and a rather sweaty girl in a grey T-shirt. Somewhere amidst this insanity somebody gave Travis a Cadbury Egg. He proceeded to eat half of it, realize he had to sing the chorus and plunk the other half down on his keyboard -- at which point he came back realized what he had done and whipped the remainder of the egg at the wall.

The song ended, the rather sweaty girl was crowned Dancing Queen and all was well. With the crowd still whipped into a frenzy, the boys decided to play one more song -- "Back and Fourth" which they dedicated to Braid and the rest of the Chicago rockers. It was a fantastically elongated and hyperactive version, with Travis eventually busting into the chorus of Juvenile's "Back That Ass Up" as the song wound down.

This was the most fun I've had at a show in a long, long time. I left completely soaked and unable to hear out of my left ear. Live, the Dismemberment Plan are the real deal: raw, spontaneous and oh-so-much fun. They were so good that I now officially deem them the Second Best Live Band On the Planet (Radiohead being the best). I couldn't have asked for a better evening -- the crowd was great, the bands were great and hey, the water was free!