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You can choose to have one -- and only one -- super power. Other than gaining that power, you remain exactly the same as you are now. What super power would you pick, and why?
Adam Forkner: The ability to shit money.
What was your favorite day job, and why? If you hated them all, what was the best (meaning most interesting) way you ever quit a job?
Adam Forkner: Getting bug bucks to check my email and avoid phone calls at a '90s internet company. Either that or the movie theater: free popcorn!
We've all heard variations on the phrase "there are two kinds of people in the world... Those who (do or think something) and those who (do or think something else)". What are the two kinds of people in the world for you?
Adam Forkner: There are two kinds of people in the world: there are people who eat, and there are people who sleep.
If money/ambition/significant others/et cetera were all non-issues, where would you choose to live and why?
Adam Forkner: Portland, OR or Big Sur, CA.
You've been given the money and resources to produce a movie biography of the most significant, influential person in your life. Who's it about, what's the story, and who plays the central character?
Adam Forkner: The story of Chris Elliot as portrayed by himself.
Summarize your driving ability in 25 words or less.
Adam Forkner: Expensive.
What is the function of your music in a capitalist society?
Adam Forkner: To make people relax.
You've just entered a contest in which the prize is an MP3 player loaded with the complete, exhaustive recorded output of any artist you choose. You win. Who do you choose?
Adam Forkner: Cluster.
What are you carrying on your person -- in your pockets, purse, et cetera -- right now?
Adam Forkner: I'm in my boxer shorts. Honestly.
You're on tour, you're in an unfamiliar city, you haven't eaten in 24 hours, and due to some poor financial decisions, you have only a single unit of the local currency -- one dollar, one pound, or thereabouts. What do you eat?
Adam Forkner: Wendy's dollar nuggets.
What was the last song you danced to? Who, if anyone, did you dance with?
Adam Forkner: "Always and Forever" by Heatwave with my girlfriend Honey.
When did you last make a mountain out of a molehill?
Adam Forkner: Oh, back when I took my "music career" seriously.
Post-Schwarzenegger, are there any high-profile people you'd like to see run for Governor or other high office? Who and why?
Adam Forkner: Yoko for president.
Apart from cheeseburgers, what is the cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast?
Adam Forkner: OJ.
You receive a series of e-mails stating that Grace Jones, Junior Brown, Missy Elliott, Ian Mackaye and Philip Glass are interested in a collaboration. How do you respond to each request?
Adam Forkner: Grace Jones: collaborative performance art piece involving string.
Junior Brown: collaborative flip-book.
Missy and me: make a painting together.
Me and Ian: make an a capella record.
Me and Phillip: make an installation for a public space or a 48 hour ambient piece.
Everyone can do at least a couple of decent imitations -- of celebrities, maybe, or associates, friends and family. Who can you "do"?
Adam Forkner: Native American coastal drug dealer, oriental man, Bill Cosby, Chris Rock, Asian man, Calvin Johnson, Kyle Field, Chinese man, Jason Anderson, old sea captain seafood restaurant man, Japanese man, Bart, pizza dude and Michael Jackson.
Let's assume that god is a DJ. What's on his playlist right now?
Adam Forkner: "The Humpty Dance".
What is your favorite "comfort food" when you're on tour?
Adam Forkner: Bacon cheeseburgers.
What essential item are you most likely to leave at home when you're heading out on tour? What do you do about it?
Adam Forkner: Sleeping bag. Because I don't need it.
Aliens have just landed, and you get to select the Earth's goodwill ambassador. Who do you pick, and why?
Adam Forkner: Kyle Field.
You wake up one morning and discover that you have dolphin telepathy. What do you do with it?
Adam Forkner: Ask them about their underwater metropolis Atlantis, tell them about the work we've been doing in their honor at http://www.yearofthedolphin.org, thank them for creating mankind.
Assuming that you must choose one, which would you rather listen to for an hour: Christian rock, mainstream country or Jessica Simpson?
Adam Forkner: Mainstream country.
Where do you think Osama Bin Laden is hiding and what would it take to get him to come out?
Adam Forkner: He has either been captured and Bush is waiting to reveal him closer to the election or he is dead, or he is hiding somewhere cool and being a total dick, or he's chillin' with George, Saddam and the rest of those fuckers down at Let's Fuck Up The World Cafe.
You're sitting in a pub when an errant dart from the games area strikes you in the leg. With the dart pointing out of your body, do you pull it out, shout for help or attack the jackass who hit you?
Adam Forkner: Pull it out.
What would you consider to be the worst fate imaginable for your music, and which contemporary artist would you most wish this terrible end upon?
Adam Forkner: If Fred Durst got into it. That guy needs to be taken out and beaten, and then have his dick cut off. Seriously. That Woodstock shit pisses me off.
What is sexy?
Adam Forkner: Body, mind and spirit all working at once to create a beautiful, confident person. Also the chick from The Matrix.
What is the strangest thing you've ever had for breakfast?
Adam Forkner: Some weird Zen food in Japan that tasted like burnt plastic and had the consistency of ground-up bones. I think it was ground up bones. Either that or cereal with warm beer.
Which non-music related product (i.e. -- no instruments, microphones, etc.) would you most like to be a celebrity spokesperson for?
Adam Forkner: Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, paper, screwdrivers or clocks.
Describe the skankiest, sketchiest place -- whether it's someone's home or a hotel/motel room -- that you've stayed in while on tour.
Adam Forkner: First tour ever (Wolf Colonel/Yume Bitsu West Coast), punk house in Redding, California. Pieces of leather hanging from the ceiling, bugs in the yellow bed, moldy stack of porn under the bathroom sink. Jesus fucking Christ. Nice guys, though!
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Adam Forkner has been in more bands than you've had hot dinners (if you don't own an oven) -- among them White Rainbow, World, [[[VVRSSNN]]], Yume
Bitsu, Surface of Eceon, Wolf Colonel, Mount Eerie, Thanksgiving, Little Wings and Suns of the Soil. And those were just the ones he could think of. He is truly the Bill Laswell of his subgenre.
-- George Zahora
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