Allister We never got a review copy of Dead Ends and Girlfriends (which is probably for the best), but you can always visit the Allister website or buy Allister stuff at Insound.

You've been given a robot that can be trained to perform one standardized task perfectly, as often as necessary. What do you train it to do?

Tim: I'd train it to make me spaghetti.

You are seriously ill. There are two vaccines that will save your life, but both have side effects: one will permanently eliminate your sense of taste, and the other will permanently eliminate all feeling in your genitals. Which vaccine would you choose?

Tim: I'd eliminate the sense of taste.

Somehow you've gotten into a fight with someone twice your size. Where do you aim the first punch?

Tim: I think I'd aim at his balls.

The "fast-forward" and "skip" buttons on all your stereo equipment are broken, and you can't afford to repair them right now. For the time being, you can only listen to albums from beginning to end, without skipping any songs. What albums in your collection are still listenable?

Tim: Green Day: any album; Slapstick's self-titled; Marvelous 3's Readysexgo; Poison's Greatest Hits; The Queers' Beat Off; Screeching Weasel's My Brain Hurts, How To Make Enemies And Irritate People, and Bark Like A Dog.

If given the perfect opportunity to be unjust, would a just person succumb to it?

Tim: No, probably not.

You've been asked to write the Encyclopedia Britannica entry on yourself. What does it say?

Tim: Dim-witted, lazy, ugly, no-good, bastard.

You've somehow been given the chance to spend the day with a character (not an actor) from any film or television program. Who do you choose?

Tim: Homer Simpson.

If you could instantly learn to play one instrument that you don't currently play, what would it be?

Tim: The harmonica.

The people of the town where you were born want to name a building after you. They've asked you to choose the sort of building that best matches your personality. What kind of building do you choose?

Tim: A comedy club.

What month of the year do you least anticipate? Why?

Tim: August. It's hot, humid and there's no holidays..at least none that I can think of right now.

What animal would you most like to house in your back yard, if you could?

Tim: A dingo.

When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Tim: A teacher, a firefighter, and a professional baseball player.

If you could buy any rare collection in the world, which collection would you choose? (This doesn't have to be a famous collection...but it can be.)

Tim: Probably anything from John Lennon or The Beatles.

What's the best advice you've ever received? Who gave it to you?

Tim: My dad once told me that it's okay to make mistakes. He told me to make the best decisions possible and then learn from them. That's how you become a better person.

You've been invited to perform as the middle act in a three-act bill. You get to choose the other two artists. Who opens for you, and who follows you?

Tim: Screeching Weasel opens and Green Day follows.

You've been placed in the Witness Protection Program, and must change your name. You're able to pick your new name. What do you call yourself?

Tim: Ralph Wiggum.

What lesson should the world learn from the failure of all those dotcom businesses?

Tim: Computers suck. We should stop using them before they take over the world.

What steps should airlines take to help avoid a repeat of the September 11th tragedy?

Tim: Bullet-proof cockpit doors.

What is the greatest invention of the last ten years?

Tim: I have no idea.

Thanks to a breakthrough in technology, you can have a perfect memory-recording of one event in your life. Everything is included -- taste, smell, sound, vision and feeling; it basically means that you can relive the event over and over again. What event would you want to relive?

Tim: The first time I saw Green Day live.

What toy from your childhood would you most like to track down now?

Tim: Construx.

Assuming that money, legality, etc. is no object, what is your intoxicant of choice?

Tim: Well actually, it's two. #1 is Budweiser, but a close #2 (even though I rarely drink hard liquor) is Southern Comfort.

Which is more dangerous in the wrong hands -- guns or knowledge?

Tim: Knowledge.

Despite the recent loss of founding member Johnny (who actually played his last gig with the band in Chicago a few days before we edited this article), Allister are soldiering on. They're on the Warped tour all summer, and will finally release a new album on Drive-Thru in August.