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The Apples In Stereo's Hilarie Sidney uncovers some Pointless Questions
apples
Hilarie Sidney


Visit the official Apples in Stereo website, read Splendid's review of Her Wallpaper Reverie or buy Apples stuff at Insound.

WHAT IS THE MOST EMBARRASSING THING YOU'VE EVER DONE IN A FAST FOOD RESTAURANT?

Hilarie Sidney: I spewed coke out of my mouth, all over the table and myself because I was laughing so hard.

IF YOU COULD ELECT A MUSICIAN AS PRESIDENT OF THE U.S. (OR LEADER OF YOUR HOME COUNTRY), WHO WOULD YOU CHOOSE?

HS: I would have to say me of course.

HAVE YOU EVER SHOPLIFTED? WHAT DID YOU TAKE AND WHY?

HS: Back in my late teens when I used to smoke cigarettes, I used to walk into the supermarket when I was broke, grab a pack of smokes, walk around and act like I was looking at stuff and nonchalantly open the pack and stick them in my pocket as if they had always belonged to me. I would then act like I was really disappointed that they didn't have what I wanted at the store and leave in a huff. I'm glad I don't smoke cigarettes any more.

NAME A BOOK THAT MADE YOU CRY, AND TELL US WHY.

HS: A book about Jerry Seinfeld, because he is so very funny.

WHICH IS MORE EXCITING WITH A MEMBER OF WHICHEVER SEX YOU "GO FOR": A CLOSE GAME OF TWISTER OR AN INTENSE GAME OF SCRABBLE?

HS: Scrabble! But of course!

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE FORM OF EXERCISE?

HS: Robert (Schneider) and I both swim M-F at the rec center!!!!

WHAT DID YOU DO FOR THE MILLENNIUM?

HS: Played a show at the Bluebird Theater in Denver.

NAME THREE SITUATIONS THAT WOULD BE MUCH FUNNIER WITH THE ADDITION OF MONKEYS.

HS: Sex, daily hygiene/grooming activities, and going to the bar for drinks.

IF YOU COULD ISSUE ONE ALBUM OR ONE BOOK TO EVERYONE IN THE WORLD ON THEIR THIRTEENTH BIRTHDAY, WHAT WOULD THE ALBUM/BOOK BE?

HS: Eyeless in Gaza by Aldous Huxley, and Sgt. Peppers.

WHERE WOULD YOU RATHER PLAY: A CLUB THAT GIVES YOU LOTS OF GREAT FREE FOOD BUT HAS HORRIBLE BATHROOMS, OR A CLUB THAT DOESN'T FEED YOU BUT HAS HOT SHOWERS AND BIG FLUFFY TOWELS?

HS: The food is the number one priority. You can always use the toilet of another fine establishment in the club's vicinity.

ARE YOU COMFORTABLE SHOPPING ONLINE? IF SO, WHAT DO YOU BUY?

HS: Very comfy. I mostly buy porn. (Just kidding) Books and Records mainly.

WHAT WAS THE WORST INVENTION OF THE 20TH CENTURY?

HS: I'm a sucker for most anything, so that's a hard one for me.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH KIDS TODAY ANYWAY?

HS: Attitude.

IS A FEMALE PRESIDENT THE ANSWER TO AMERICA'S PROBLEMS?

HS: It depends on the candidate.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT CELLULAR PHONES? LIKE THEM? HATE THEM? GRUDGINGLY APPRECIATE THEM? WHAT? WHAT, DAMMIT?!

HS: I love my cell phone. I feel at a loss without it. Robert always calls me at the store and says don't forget this and that...

TELL US ABOUT YOUR PETS. IF YOU HAVE NO PETS, MAKE ONE UP.

HS: A very cute little Beagle named Simon who is 1 1/2 years old; a little white kitty, Tinkerbell; a mostly white kitty with black spots, Mister D; and a mostly black kitty w/ white spots, Mams (Mr. D's mom).

NAME AN OBJECT YOU OWN THAT HAS LITTLE MONETARY VALUE, BUT THAT YOU WOULDN'T SELL FOR A MILLION DOLLARS.

HS: A beautiful book with pressed flowers on the cover that Robert made me for my b-day this year, of all of my favorite poems that he's written recently.

IF YOU HAD TO BE TRAPPED IN A TV SHOW FOR A MONTH, WHAT SHOW WOULD YOU CHOOSE? AND WHY?

HS: Seinfeld.

WHAT IS THE FUNNIEST LOOKING ANIMAL?

HS: Platypus

IF YOU COULD HAVE THE "ORIGINAL" OF ANYTHING, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

HS: I hate collecting. So, nothing!!

IF YOU KNEW THAT BY NEVER LISTENING TO LOUD MUSIC AGAIN YOU'D ADD TEN YEARS TO YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU DO IT?

HS: Probably. I always wear earplugs anyway.

WHAT KIND OF PERSON WEARS THONG UNDERWEAR?

HS: Someone who wants to be comfy.

IF YOU HAD TO GIVE UP ONE SENSE (SIGHT/SMELL/TOUCH/TASTE/HEARING), WHICH ONE COULD YOU MOST READILY DO WITHOUT?

HS: Probably smell or taste. Not sure though.

· · · · · · ·

Hilarie Sidney isn't just the Apples in Stereo's drummer/vocalist/percussionist -- she was also very nearly the star of "Hilarie Sidney Investigates," a very odd comic strip that we had to put on the back burner and eventually take off the stove altogether. But that's another story for another day. Hilarie and her fellow Apples just released the "Look Away" EP. Watch for their newest full-length, The Discovery of a World Inside the Moone, in April. Don't miss them at SXSW, either.

-- George Zahora



Splendid is always looking for artists and bands who can handle our Pointless Questions. We mostly do them by e-mail, so they're quick and painless, unless you can't type. E-mail us for more information! Your band could be next...


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