|
You can choose to have one -- and only one -- super power. Other than gaining that power, you remain exactly the same as you are now. What super power would you pick, and why?
Max Wood: I would love to know what certain people think about. I'm also curious as to how something like that would be communicated. How would you layer the thoughts of somebody else with your own? How would you choose whose thoughts you could sense? That would be so awesome.
If money/ambition/significant others/et cetera were all non-issues, where would you choose to live and why?
Max Wood: New York City. It just happens to fit the tossed criteria as well. It's such an inspiring cultural mish-mash. Japanese cream puffs for $1! Russian butter-sugar croissant sandwiches for 50 cents! Deserted fishing communities! Manhattan! I was in Hoboken the other night, and I walked to the end of a very long, vacant dock going into the Hudson River. I must have starred at the skyline of Lower Manhattan for over an hour... What an amazing accomplishment.
You've been given the money and resources to produce a movie biography of the most significant, influential person in your life. Who's it about, what's the story, and who plays the central character?
Max Wood: Well, the most significant person in my life thus far has definitely been my mother. However, I doubt that she would have wanted a movie made all about her, so I'll go in the opposite direction: I have had an awful relationship with my father. From what I know about his life, a cautionary tale documenting a similar character could probably shed some popularly uncharted light on certain areas of human weakness. He would either be played by Ike Turner or Paris Hilton.
Summarize your driving ability in 25 words or less.
Max Wood: Fucking terrible.
What is the function of your music in a capitalist society?
Max Wood: I guess that the obvious answer is that it becomes a product. The market power that can be attained from the creation of music that sells well ultimately brings more room to potentially mature as a communicator. Unfortunately, the market aspect also hinders a lot of musicians from communicating in all honesty. I think that I'm pretty guilty of this on my Africa Baby, Yeah Yeah Yeah CD, but I'm working hard on resolving it. It's an awful conflict to deal with.
You've just entered a contest in which the prize is an MP3 player loaded with the complete, exhaustive recorded output of any artist you choose. You win. Who do you choose?
Max Wood: Lately I've been really interested in some of the music that Cornelius released in Japan before he was signed to Matador in the US. This stuff (the album 69 96 in particular) has made me pretty curious about his artistic progression, so I suppose that he would be my choice for right now. Runner-up is Dieter Roth.
What are you carrying on your person -- in your pockets, purse, et cetera -- right now?
Max Wood: I'm wearing a weird/awesome shirt depicting a line-drawing of Michael Jackson's 1970s face that I bought the other day in New York's Chinatown, an always-classy Members Only jacket, headphones, and in my left pocket is a confirmation number for a recently-purchased Greyhound ticket.
You're on tour, you're in an unfamiliar city, you haven't eaten in 24 hours, and due to some poor financial decisions, you have only a single unit of the local currency -- one dollar, one pound, or thereabouts. What do you eat?
Max Wood: I can see myself making a really poor health decision out of being that super-hungry. I would probably either get a choco-taco, an item from a fast food value menu, or anything equally satisfying-yet-awful. Maybe my emergency-logic would be that I would get so grossed out by eating garbage that not eating for another 24 hours wouldn't be so much of a problem.
What was the last song you danced to? Who, if anyone, did you dance with?
Max Wood: I was going to say that the last time I danced was in February 2004, obnoxiously dancercizing to "Float On" by Modest Mouse with two of my closest friends in the middle of this really tiny room full of extremely densely-packed drunk-out-of-their-mind sex-dancing college students; however, in the process of writing out the answer to this question, I danced to M. Jackson's "Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough" with my friend Jenny. Whatevsszz.
Post-Schwarzenegger, are there any high-profile people you'd like to see run for governor or other high office? Who and why?
Max Wood: John McCain or Howard Dean! If you're looking for political virgins, though, I have a near-innumerable list of awesome people that I would absolutely love to see in government office. We have so many incredibly intelligent people in this country (and elsewhere, obviously, but I assume this is just United States-style). How about Biz Markie as the new Secretary of Defense?
Apart from cheeseburgers, what is the cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast?
Max Wood: Protein!
You receive a series of e-mails stating that Grace Jones, Junior Brown, Missy Elliott, Ian MacKaye and Philip Glass are interested in a collaboration. How do you respond to each request?
Max Wood: I would work fervently to bring all of the collaborations together to form a John Cage / Tom Tom Club cover band.
Have you ever seen a ghost? Or a dead body? Tell us about it.
Max Wood: Dead bodies = yes, ghost = negative. Most of the dead bodies that I've seen have been at open-casket funerals (which I strongly dislike). Once, I saw the dead body a man that had been hit by a car on a really busy street near the beach in Jacksonville, Florida. Fucking awful.
Let's assume that God is a DJ. What's on his playlist right now?
Max Wood: God is actually a huge fan of the lesser-known Morrissey solo material.
What is your favorite "comfort food" when you're on tour?
Max Wood: Cinnamon Apple Zone Bars. All the beauty that the human mind is capable of manifesting in a 5x1x0.8" health food bar. This is actually good. I promise. Some of their other flavors are a bit on the iffy side though, so beware.
Tell us about the least likely place you ever sent a CD/demo. Why did you send it? What happened?
Max Wood: Once I sent an exceptionally awful demo CD to Merge Records. This probably doesn't sound very unlikely, but if you had heard the CD you would know exactly what I'm talking about. It all made sense at the time. I got a really kind auto-response postcard in the mail that said something to the effect of "Thanks for sending us your CD! We'll let you know if we decide to sign you!" Awesome.
What essential item are you most likely to leave at home when you're heading out on tour? What do you do about it?
Max Wood: My rule is that if it can't fit inside my super-weak and small Target-purchased backpack, it has to stay at home. When I'm travelling, I usually just bring an extra pair of jeans, a couple of shirts, a toothbrush, deodorant, a notebook/pen and my cellphone/charger. I tend to get too distracted by the change of scenery to miss the other stuff very much.
Aliens have just landed, and you get to select the earth's goodwill ambassador. Who do you pick, and why?
Max Wood: I trust Andre 3000.
Assuming that you must choose one, which would you rather listen to for an hour: Christian rock, mainstream country or Jessica Simpson?
Max Wood: As far back as I can recall, whenever my maternal grandfather has been near, really weird top 40 pop-country has been just as close. I think that I've developed a resistance to it, so I would probably float in that direction.
What's the deal with those damn raccoons?
Max Wood: Let me tell you about watersports: ddffdfdfdffd;
What would you consider to be the worst fate imaginable for your music, and which contemporary artist would you most wish this terrible end upon?
Max Wood: I always get really nervous when anybody misunderstands what I've attempted communicate in a song. It makes me feel shitty as an artist, which generally sucks. Based on that, the worst fate that I can imagine would be getting famous from a misunderstanding (which would in effect be perpetuated). As for who I would wish it upon -– for some reason John Tesh comes to mind, but I can't discern any good or valid reason as to why.
Which reality TV game show could you see yourself as a winning contestant on? Explain.
Max Wood: I know way too little about the beautiful world of reality television, but the ideas behind programs such as American Idol and Swan definitely interest and disgust me. I would like to be transformed into Lenny Kravitz on MTV's I Want a Famous Face. I suppose that would make me the ultimate winner.
What is the strangest thing you've ever had for breakfast?
Max Wood: Jesus. My eating habits are highly questionable… This morning I ate a slice of pizza, a little bit of cake mix, and leftover pasta salad. My weirdest breakfast ever probably had something to do with ice cream sandwiches, taco shells, turkey-fish, vanilla extract and Lysol.
Which non-music related product (i.e. -- no instruments, microphones, etc.) would you most like to be a celebrity spokesperson for?
Max Wood: I would love to sponsor a trashy Miami hotel franchise.
Describe the skankiest, sketchiest place -- whether it's someone's home or a hotel/motel room -- that you've stayed in while on tour.
Max Wood: Oh man. Well, just last week I spent a pretty unfortunate night in Philadelphia walking between hotel lobbies, Seven-Elevens, homeless people and a 24-hour Kinko's where I was accused by a very strange character of being "a part of the increments that keep me buying the gold chains for money with thousands of drugs." I moved to a different desk.
· · · · · · ·
From the bio:
Applied Communications is the pseudonym of virile young transit poet Max Wood. Max was born in Florida in the Eighties and was raised on the indie-rock tastes of his Sub-Pop employee mother and her various B-list rock star friends, spending holidays with the likes of The Dwarves and getting creepy phone calls from Rick James. Given a four-track, a strange sequencer/drum-machine/midi box, and a Casio mt-46 at age 12, he started to make exceptionally strange music.
He made tapes of it and distributed them to strangers at record stores, art openings, shows of bands that he liked, and at his own shows, which, due to his age and ignorance of the indie-music situation around him, occurred only at neighborhood laundromats, art museum auditoriums, Jewish community centers, and bus stations.
-- George Zahora
| 
