Atom: I've never done anything embarrassing, but this woman squeezed a mustard packet, and made it explode and it went all over my face. That sucks. Mustard sucks. That woman sucked.

IF YOU COULD ELECT A MUSICIAN AS PRESIDENT OF THE U.S. (OR LEADER OF YOUR HOME COUNTRY), WHO WOULD YOU CHOOSE?

Atom: Daniel Higgs from Lungfish, because he's a complete lunatic, and I'd love to see him chain smoke at the State of the Union address.

HAVE YOU EVER SHOPLIFTED? WHAT DID YOU TAKE AND WHY?

Atom: No. I am waaaay too scared of doing that kind of stuff.

NAME A BOOK THAT MADE YOU CRY, AND TELL US WHY.

Atom: Flowers for Algernon, because the guy got stupid again. Stupid=sad.

WHICH IS MORE EXCITING WITH A MEMBER OF WHICHEVER SEX YOU "GO FOR": A CLOSE GAME OF TWISTER OR AN INTENSE GAME OF SCRABBLE?

Atom: Scrabble, because moving and being uncomfortable both irritate me.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE FORM OF EXERCISE?

Atom: Cindy Crawford's "The Next Challenge" (I shit you not, thank you). WHAT DID YOU DO FOR THE MILLENNIUM?

Atom: I went over to a friend's parents' house, because the friend was home from Washington state for a while. He has babies, and we didn't do anything too crazy except shoot off a cannon 3 times. My parents live near his parents so I slept there with my dog and lady friend, and was yelling a lot really late. Yep. Pretty exciting.

NAME THREE SITUATIONS THAT WOULD BE MUCH FUNNIER WITH THE ADDITION OF MONKEYS.

Atom: All movies with monkeys in them are better than movies without monkeys in them. Dunston Checks In...The Godfather. My dog's face would be much funnier if it was a monkey (I can draw a picture if necessary). The Philadelphia zoo would be much funnier with monkeys, as their monkey house burned down, and now it's sad.

IF YOU COULD ISSUE ONE ALBUM OR ONE BOOK TO EVERYONE IN THE WORLD ON THEIR THIRTEENTH BIRTHDAY, WHAT WOULD THE ALBUM/BOOK BE?

Atom: The Men Who Stole the Atlantic Ocean.

WHERE WOULD YOU RATHER PLAY: A CLUB THAT GIVES YOU LOTS OF GREAT FREE FOOD BUT HAS HORRIBLE BATHROOMS, OR A CLUB THAT DOESN'T FEED YOU BUT HAS HOT SHOWERS AND BIG FLUFFY TOWELS?

Atom: Ha Ha, like clubs give free food in this country! Ha ha... oh... I guess they do to real bands. Nevermind.

ARE YOU COMFORTABLE SHOPPING ONLINE? IF SO, WHAT DO YOU BUY?

Atom: Yes. I buy the game "Buster Brothers" from Capcom every day. Plane tickets are good. If you have a gift certificate to a chain record store, I advise using it on line. I had one for my birthday to Tower, and went to Tower and couldn't bring myself to spend $18 on a CD, so I went on line and it was significantly cheaper. I was pissed though because Professor Griff is not on the list of people contributing to the Public Enemy record Fear of a Black Planet on the CD Now site, even though he does appear on the record. I only found this out after I received the record. I was mad because I don't want to give money to that prick.

WHAT WAS THE WORST INVENTION OF THE 20TH CENTURY?

Atom: The chunger.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH KIDS TODAY ANYWAY?

Atom: They watch too much TV and their parents hate them. Stop having babies everyone, please.

IS A FEMALE PRESIDENT THE ANSWER TO AMERICA'S PROBLEMS?

Atom: No.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT CELLULAR PHONES? LIKE THEM? HATE THEM? GRUDGINGLY APPRECIATE THEM? WHAT? WHAT, DAMMIT?!

Atom: I like 'em, and I encourage everyone to like them, and get them so I stop looking like an asshole at a punk rock show. Thanks.

TELL US ABOUT YOUR PETS. IF YOU HAVE NO PETS, MAKE ONE UP.

Atom: I have a big dog, Books. She's half german shepherd, half elkhound. She's sweet, and scary to others so she's perfect in the city except she is allergic to food so she gets diarrhea weekly.

NAME AN OBJECT YOU OWN THAT HAS LITTLE MONETARY VALUE, BUT THAT YOU WOULDN'T SELL FOR A MILLION DOLLARS.

Atom: My arms.

WHAT'S HARDER: PLAYING SOLO FOR AN AUDIENCE OF 1000 FOR AN HOUR, OR GIVING A 30-MINUTE SPEECH TO THE SAME AUDIENCE?

Atom: A 30 minute speech.

IF YOU HAD TO BE TRAPPED IN A TV SHOW FOR A MONTH, WHAT SHOW WOULD YOU CHOOSE? AND WHY?

Atom: The Magic Johnson Show, because it was so insightful.

WHAT IS THE FUNNIEST LOOKING ANIMAL?

Atom: A mule.

IF YOU COULD HAVE THE "ORIGINAL" OF ANYTHING, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

Atom: I would like the original lineup of the 1980 Phillies to live in my basement.

NAME A COMMERCIAL JINGLE THAT, FOR YOU, WAS CATCHIER THAN MOST POP SONGS.

Atom: There was this radio commercial a long time ago for godknowswhat, but the jingle for the number went 1-800-228-1515. I swear it was a great jingle... I'll call it right now and let you know what it is. (pause) It's disconnected.

WHAT IS THE MOST FASCINATING SMELL?

Atom: Metal.

IF YOU KNEW THAT BY NEVER LISTENING TO LOUD MUSIC AGAIN YOU'D ADD TEN YEARS TO YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU DO IT?

Atom: No, because I'd prefer to die before my friends do, thanks.

WHAT KIND OF PERSON WEARS THONG UNDERWEAR?

Atom: A (insert funny adjective here) person?

IF YOU HAD TO GIVE UP ONE SENSE (SIGHT/SMELL/TOUCH/TASTE/HEARING), WHICH ONE COULD YOU MOST READILY DO WITHOUT?

Atom: I shall rank them from one to five... one being easiest to do without. Taste Smell Touch Hearing Sight.

Atom in his own words: "I write punk songs on a QY 700 music sequencer (the package) that, because the song use synthesized instruments, sound like 80's rock songs. Thanks. Enjoy." Last year's Atom and His Package album, Making Love, is a modern classic.