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Right now, with no advance notice, and for reasons we're not going to bother explaining, you must get rid of one album from your record collection. Which title gets the chop?
Mickey Molinari: Weezer's Green Album.
You wake up one morning and discover that you've grown two feet taller overnight. How does it affect your life?
Mickey Molinari: I'm still the same loser, just two feet taller.
What three things must a town or city have in order for you to be able to live happily there?
Mickey Molinari: Weather in the 70s and some fine tail walkin around.
What's more important: good music or good food? And why?
Mickey Molinari: Good music, 'cause at least bad food won't get stuck in your head.
Would you rather be anal probed by aliens or have a root canal without anaesthetics? Explain your choice.
Mickey Molinari: The root canal. There is no way an alien is gonna probe me.
Why does the wheel in the sky keep on turning?
Mickey Molinari: It's not, it's a trick being played on us by the devil.
You've just been elected to the US Senate (if you're not a US citizen, please either pretend you are or move forward on the assumption that you've taken a similar government-type position in your own country). What's on your agenda legislation-wise?
Mickey Molinari: Make hookers and gambling legal everywhere.
If the moon were made of cheese, what kind of cheese would it be made of? Please explain your reasoning.
Mickey Molinari: Goat cheese -- it's just what seems right.
You've just won a contest in which the prize is your "dream car". What make and model of car do you choose? (And no, you can't just take the money.)
Mickey Molinari: A DeLorean -- Back to the Future ruled.
You can go back in time and kill one person without disrupting the space/time continuum, creating a paradox and causing the universe to collapse upon itself. Who would it be?
Mickey Molinari: George Lucas.
As an experiment, you spend an entire day with a stick of butter duct-taped to your forehead. What do you learn?
Mickey Molinari: Butter is slimy.
What's the best way to spend a rainy day?
Mickey Molinari: The Family Guy DVD.
What is the coolest animal to watch a nature show about?
Mickey Molinari: Lions.
What do you do now, as a result of widespread internet access, that you didn't do ten years ago?
Mickey Molinari: See lots of messed-up shit.
Who did you last give flowers to and why?
Mickey Molinari: My date to the last dance I went to in school, it's standard.
The thong: instrument of social change or harbinger of dark times?
Mickey Molinari: Social change.
The police have just nailed you for some kind of minor infraction. What were you most likely to have been doing?
Mickey Molinari: Vandalism.
Would you shop at a supermarket run by ninjas? Why or why not?
Mickey Molinari: Totally, it would be an adventure.
What article (or articles) of clothing do you wish you never had to wear again? Why?
Mickey Molinari: Tank tops. They make me feel like trash.
Taking into account all current political, social and economic situations, which country would you most like to be and why?
Mickey Molinari: Holland -- Amsterdam rules!
Tell us about your weirdest experience with a fan.
Mickey Molinari: She showed me her pierced nipple. She was way ugly.
When was the last time you had an entire day to yourself, and what did you do with it?
Mickey Molinari: I jerked off and played video games.
Ever written a letter to the editor? What publication, and on what subject?
Mickey Molinari: No, never. Not worth it.
What's the stupidest thing you've ever done while drunk? If you're a non-drinker, please limit your self-righteous response to 25 words.
Mickey Molinari: I hit on tons of chicks, handing out my number to every one of them. Beer goggles are fun 'til the next day when you get tons of phone calls from people you don't know.
What's your favorite thing to do when you can't sleep?
Mickey Molinari: Watch TV.
What are your fellow band members' most irritating habits? If you have no fellow band members, what are your own most irritating habits?
Mickey Molinari: I don't know. I don't pay attention to them. Haha.
You're making a guest appearance as yourself in the TV show of your choice. What's the show, and how do you fit into the plot?
Mickey Molinari: Grounded for Life, having an affair with the wife/mom. She is hot.
A National Guardsman from Ohio recently changed his name to Optimus Prime, after the Transformer. If you could change your name to anything, what would you change it to?
Mickey Molinari: Mr. Kick Ass.
We're considering lobbying the government to pass a law banning the use of certain overplayed words -- for example, "New", "Flaming" and "Electric" -- in band names. What other words should be banned?
Mickey Molinari: Plans, projects and numbers.
Would you rather tour the world for a year, living out of hotels and minibuses, playing to sellout crowds but estranged from all meaningful interpersonal contact, or be crowned the next indie god(s) but be damned to a lifetime of college radio airplay, widespread obscurity and eventual golden years filled with soundtrack work?
Mickey Molinari: Tour the world -- I don't have enough fashion sense to be indie.
What's the most un-rock and roll hobby or interest you have?
Mickey Molinari: I love HGTV, and cooking.
What's the stupidest thing a reviewer ever said about you or your band?
Mickey Molinari: Saying we sound like Allister.
What's in your fridge right now?
Mickey Molinari: Hot dogs, pitas, pepperoni and green olives.
What advice would you give to Michael Jackson?
Mickey Molinari: Stop touching the penises of little boys.
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August Premier's Fireworks and Alcohol drops from Fueled By Ramen in a couple of weeks. They're on tour now.
-- questions by the Splendid staff
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