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You can choose to have one -- and only one -- super power. Other than gaining that power, you remain exactly the same as you are now. What super power would you pick, and why?
Bart Davenport: The power to visualize and then make things happen. Recently, I've been driving around town with this eerie sense of impending doom. I'd like to have the opposite feeling.
What was your favorite day job, and why? If you hated them all, what was the best (meaning most interesting) way you ever quit a job?
Bart Davenport: I had my own office and I'd stroll in there at like 12:00 noon, put my feet up on the desk and call my mom long-distance. They had a cafeteria with, like, every kind of food in the world and free sodas and juice. Shit always had to be done by the end of the week, though, and I'd be scrambling to make deadlines on Friday. I can't tell you where this was but let's just say it's worse than working for the government.
If money/ambition/significant others/et cetera were all non-issues, where would you choose to live and why?
Bart Davenport: I would choose to live right here in Northern California. We have tall buildings and beautiful trees. Urban skylines and ocean. Every single night of the week, you can go out in the bay area and hear music.
You've been given the money and resources to produce a movie biography of the most significant, influential person in your life. Who's it about, what's the story, and who plays the central character?
Bart Davenport: My mother. She grew up in foster homes, saw Stan Getz with Astrud Gilberto, Love in some basement in LA, partied with Ken Kesey when acid was still legal and lived with Steve Miller from '65 to '67. She hitch-hiked to Mexico and back several times, occasionally stopping in LA to see her birth mother (crystal ball reader) and her older brother (former east LA gang banger and junkie/artist). After splitting up with my dad (when I was three), she became a lesbian and opened an all women-owned and operated restaurant/collective. She was an icon in the dyke scene for about 20 years. She's a student now at Smith College. There are no half Filipino superstar actresses, so I guess we'd have to cast an unknown in the role of my mom.
Summarize your driving ability in 25 words or less.
Bart Davenport: Sober: Grandma, Drunk: drunken Grandma -- but I have a Volvo, the safest car in the world.
What is the function of your music in a capitalist society?
Bart Davenport: The function of my music should be to entertain people and to have a chance to express myself. I want to do this kind of work because it feels right for me. But I've hardly made any money. It's time for me to get paid so I can continue to entertain and still make rent on time.
You've just entered a contest in which the prize is an MP3 player loaded with the complete, exhaustive recorded output of any artist you choose. You win. Who do you choose?
Bart Davenport: Paul McCartney.
What are you carrying on your person -- in your pockets, purse, et cetera -- right now?
Bart Davenport: Keys, condoms, guitar picks, credit cards, mace, a few throwing stars and two hits of Golden Sunshine.
You're on tour, you're in an unfamiliar city, you haven't eaten in 24 hours, and due to some poor financial decisions, you have only a single unit of the local currency -- one dollar, one pound, or thereabouts. What do you eat?
Bart Davenport: A Snickers bar. I'm serious.
What was the last song you danced to? Who, if anyone, did you dance with?
Bart Davenport: I remember last Friday night dancing to "Emotional Rescue" by the Stones with four girls -- Rocky, Kitty, Erin and Brook.
When did you last make a mountain out of a molehill?
Bart Davenport: I might be doing that right now.
Post-Schwarzenegger, are there any high-profile people you'd like to see run for governor or other high office? Who and why?
Bart Davenport: Harrison Ford. Do I have to explain this?
Apart from cheeseburgers, what is the cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast?
Bart Davenport: Coffee.
You receive a series of e-mails stating that Grace Jones, Junior Brown, Missy Elliott, Ian MacKaye and Philip Glass are interested in a collaboration. How do you respond to each request?
Bart Davenport: Grace,
We have a fantastic recording facility right here at my house. There's an 8 track, half-inch machine and some good mics and mic pres. I know this dude who plays MPC like it's a fucking drum set. Let's get together with him, throw down some sick disco beats and write some crazy new shit. I have always been a fan, so mi casa es su casa. You can crash on my couch or even sleep in my bed if you like.
Junior,
Although I am flattered by your request, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to pass. I dislike your music -- enough to feel that any contribution from me would only hinder and not help you. I don't look good in a cowboy hat. Plus -- you can't afford me, dude.
Missy,
When do we start? I have this tune I wanna do with you called, "You Need To Make Time In Your Life For Some Sexxx". Do you think we can get Dre in on this? Um... I'm assuming there's hella scrilla in this for me. Right?
Ian MacKaye,
Hello Ian. You know, I've never really listened much to Fugazi. When a lot of my peers were in their hardcore phase, I was an uptight little mod revivalist. So I have to say, I'm pretty unfamiliar with your stuff. But that's precisely why I might be good with you. I never looked up to you or cared about your band. But now I've had my DC music history lessons and I find out that you're a very respectable and dedicated artist. Could we get those guys from Bad Brains involved and make some dub tracks?
Dear Mr Glass,
Would this be an attempt to Avant-Gardify Bart Davenport? Or... are you trying to jump on this new acoustic, San Francisco bandwagon?
Have you ever seen a ghost? Or a dead body? Tell us about it.
Bart Davenport: Neither. But that's the scary part. It could happen at any moment.
Everyone can do at least a couple of decent imitations -- of celebrities, maybe, or associates, friends and family. Who can you "do"?
Bart Davenport: Junior Wells.
What was the last book you read and hated? Why did you hate it?
Bart Davenport: I hated A Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Genius by that dufus from San Francisco. I read it cover to cover, though. Couldn't put it down. I had to know what kind of totally self indulgent bullshit he would get into next. I actually read a short story he wrote about a dog and liked it a lot.
Let's assume that God is a DJ. What's on His playlist right now?
Bart Davenport: "Long Live The King" - Detroit Emeralds
"Que Pena" - Gal Costa
"We Can Make It We Can" - Smokey Robinson and The Miracles
"Young Turks" - Rod Stewart
"Bam Bam" - Sister Nancy
"Burning For You" - Blue Oyster Cult
"Sentimental Lady" - Bob Welch
"Computer Love" - Kraftwerk
"Big Fat Silver Aeroplane" - Roy Harper
"Jet Fighter" - The Three O'Clock
"Frontin'" - Pharell Williams
"Diamond Day" - Vashti Bunyan
"This Could Be The Night" - Modern Folk Quartet
"Genius Of Love" - Tom Tom Club
What is your favorite "comfort food" when you're on tour?
Bart Davenport: Snickers.
Tell us about the least likely place you ever sent a CD/demo. Why did you send it? What happened?
Bart Davenport: This is a depressing topic. I'm sure so many of those things went straight in the trash or got sold to Amoeba.
What essential item are you most likely to leave at home when you're heading out on tour? What do you do about it?
Bart Davenport: Sleep. I leave my friend sleep at home. I think that I won't need him. But then I do and I have to borrow other people's sleep out there on the road and it gets kinda nasty. Their dreams are often more erotic and are sometimes in foreign languages.
Aliens have just landed, and you get to select the earth's goodwill ambassador. Who do you pick, and why?
Bart Davenport: Me. I have been waiting for them for a long time and I will hook them up with whatever they need here on earth. I'm very connected. This job should have gone to Sun Ra. (RIP)
You wake up one morning and discover that you have dolphin telepathy. What do you do with it?
Bart Davenport: I ride on their backs to Miami to sip cocktails. On the way, they tell me their stories of how it used to be before Mankind fucked up the earth and the air and the water.
Assuming that you must choose one, which would you rather listen to for an hour: Christian rock, mainstream country or Jessica Simpson?
Bart Davenport: Definitely Christian Rock. Of those three, I think it might be the most sincere.
What's the deal with those damn raccoons?
Bart Davenport: I don't know. I've tried to chase them out of my front yard and they just stand there looking hell of tough. Hard as nails. Sometime I leave half empty beer bottles on the porch. The raccoons just come up and (I swear this is true) they actually hold the bottles to their little mouths and drink beer!
Where do you think Osama Bin Laden is hiding and what would it take to get him to come out?
Bart Davenport: Is he hiding? Or are we not really looking for him?
What is sexy?
Bart Davenport: Knee socks. Lip gloss. Dark eye make up. Soft voices. Smooth, olive skin.
Which non-music related product (i.E. -- no instruments, microphones, etc.) would you most like to be a celebrity spokesperson for?
Bart Davenport: Snickers.
Describe the skankiest, sketchiest place -- whether it's someone's home or a hotel/motel room -- that you've stayed in while on tour.
Bart Davenport: I think it was in North Carolina. The guy at the desk hands us the keys. We open up the room and there's four big ol' stinky feet peeking out of the covers. We go back to the desk and demand a different room. He gives us new keys and we go to room #2. Open the door, the TV is on some porn channel, the bed isn't made and there's a pair of cowboy boots in the middle of the room. We go back to the front desk and are given room key #3. Upstairs... open the door and... sigh, it's empty. But then of course we listened to, like, 12 crack smokers partying in the room next door until, like, noon the next day when it was time to check out.
If you had an army of super-intelligent lab mice to do your bidding, what evil deeds would you have them do?
Bart Davenport: I would set them free and let mother nature decide their fate.
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(Rephrased from the official bio:)
Bart Davenport is the former lead singer of much-heralded San Franciscan bluesy garage stompers The Loved Ones. His third solo record, Maroon Cocoon, is scheduled for US release in late February on Antenna Farm Records.
-- George Zahora
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