YOU'VE BEEN GIVEN A CHANCE TO TRAVEL IN TIME TO THE YEAR
2025 TO SEE HOW THE WORLD WILL HAVE CHANGED. WHAT ARE YOU THE
MOST CURIOUS ABOUT?
Gary Floyd: Ass sex and if people still use condoms... Oh, yeah, and kittens.
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANYTHING IN THE WORLD COMPLETELY TO
YOURSELF FOR ONE DAY -- AND OBJECT OR PLACE -- WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Gary Floyd: The temple of the Divine Mother Kali in Calcutta, India.
IF A MOVIE WAS MADE ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WHERE WOULD IT BE
SHELVED IN THE VIDEO STORE?
Gary Floyd: Next to Joan Crawford under "drama".
YOU'RE GUEST-HOSTING A NIGHT-TIME TALK SHOW FOR ONE NIGHT
ONLY. WHO WOULD BE YOUR IDEAL GUESTS?
Gary Floyd: Yoko Ono.
IF YOU JOINED THE CIRCUS, WHAT WOULD YOU DO THERE?
Gary Floyd: Clean up elephant shit... Then free the big ol' dolls.
WHAT PERSON -- FAMOUS OR NOT -- CAN YOU IMITATE BEST?
Gary Floyd: Yoko Ono.
IF YOU HAD TO EITHER WALK OR RUN TEN MILES EVERY DAY, WHERE
WOULD YOU WANT TO DO IT?
Gary Floyd: Along Coast Hi-way 1...
WHAT'S THE BEST SONG EVER WRITTEN?
Gary Floyd: "Hey Kids", or maybe "Sweet Talker".
YOU'VE BEEN GIVEN A POTION THAT ALLOWS YOU TO BECOME
INVISIBLE FOR EXACTLY ONE HOUR. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO FOR THAT HOUR?
Gary Floyd: Hang out in the NFL locker room...any team.
YOU'VE JUST WRITTEN YOUR AUTOBIOGRAPHY. WHAT'S IT CALLED?
Gary Floyd: Elephant Shit Man.
WHAT'S THE LONGEST YOU'VE EVER STOOD IN LINE? WHY'D YOU DO
IT?
Gary Floyd: Two hours, for food stamps.
IF YOU COULD HAVE 100 POUNDS OF ANYTHING (OTHER THAN MONEY),
WHAT WOULD YOU WANT?
Gary Floyd: Hindu posters of different gods and goddesses.
WHAT THOUGHT OR SENTIMENT WOULD YOU LIKE TO PUT INTO ONE
MILLION FORTUNE COOKIES?
Gary Floyd: "God bless each and every fucking one of you ass blowers."
MICROSOFT OFFERS YOU $5 MILLION (US) TO USE ONE OF YOUR
SONGS IN ALL WINDOWS MILLENNIUM ADVERTISING. DO YOU TAKE THE MONEY?
WHAT DO YOU DO WITH IT?
Gary Floyd: Yes, I take the money. (Do I take the money...duhh?) I'd buy a bunch of useless bullshit and freak out.
WHAT ARTICLE OF CLOTHING SHOULD NEVER BE MADE OUT OF
LEATHER, AND WHY?
Gary Floyd: No articles of clothes should be leather, 'cause you gotta kill something for it. Make it out of yo mama'a skin, fucker.
IF YOU COULD DO ONLY ONE JOB, 8 HOURS A DAY, 5 DAYS A WEEK
FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, WHAT WOULD YOU WANT THAT JOB TO BE?
Gary Floyd: Counting sox in a sox factory.
WHAT IS THE MOST THOUGHTFUL THING A VENUE HAS EVER DONE FOR
YOU?
Gary Floyd: Treated me like a human...with no attitude! Europe is so cool to the bands. In the U.S. you have to beg for a cup of water...and them get some fucking coolster-MTV Real-World Wanna be give you an attitude.
WHAT IS THE WORST WAY TO DIE?
Gary Floyd: Answering these questions..and believe me, this is killing me!
IF YOU COULD BE THE SPOKESPERSON FOR ANY PRODUCT ON THE
MARKET, WHAT PRODUCT WOULD YOU CHOOSE TO REPRESENT?
Gary Floyd: Make up for animals...tested on people.
· · · · · · ·
You might remember Gary Floyd from The Dicks, or from his obvious participation in the Gary Floyd Band. His latest and perhaps greatest effort, Black Kali Ma, released its debut, You Ride the Pony (I'll Be the Bunny), on Alternative Tentacles last year.
-- George Zahora
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