IF YOU JOINED THE CIRCUS, WHAT WOULD YOU DO THERE?
Jason Farrell: Probably an administrative task like the fat lady's taxes. But I would hope
for something more sketchy and exciting. Maybe a motorcycle trick involving
monkeys... I don't know what it would be, but it should end with a each
simian working a different component; throttle, brake, turn signal (just
left cuz it's just a circle under the big top) with their foot hands.
YOU'VE BEEN GIVEN A POTION THAT ALLOWS YOU TO BECOME
INVISIBLE FOR EXACTLY ONE HOUR. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO FOR THAT HOUR?
Jason Farrell: Rob many banks. Eat food to see if it also magically becomes invisible. I
don't see why it would. I never got that bit about invisibility. Are you
kind of cloaked or painted, so what ever you put in your body disappears? if
that's the case, then you'd see your teeth if you smiled. Or are all your
cells clear? Then you'd see the food.
YOU'RE GUEST-HOSTING A NIGHT-TIME TALK SHOW FOR ONE NIGHT
ONLY. WHO WOULD BE YOUR IDEAL GUESTS?
Jason Farrell: First off I'd get Andy Richter out of retirement to help me out. Then I'd
get Christopher Walken and David Arquette, because they've always been
pretty entertaining on other late night shows. I'd invite some old man or
woman from the middle of the country to fly out to show their odd collection
or cooking skills, but then I'd bump them... Cuz I'd ask Cheap Trick to play
more than just one song.
YOU'VE JUST WRITTEN YOUR AUTOBIOGRAPHY. WHAT'S IT CALLED?
Jason Farrell: "Born to Loose" (sic).
WHAT'S THE LONGEST YOU'VE EVER STOOD IN LINE? WHY'D YOU DO
IT?
Jason Farrell: I freak out when forced to stand in line. I take it personally. I am
guaranteed to pick the slowest line without fail... Should I move lines in
the midst of waiting, then I haven't dodged fate. The new line becomes the
slow line (which isn't really true, because it was always the slow line... I
just fucked up and got in it, true to form). Each time feels longer than the
last, so the longest time I've spent will be the next time in line. For
whatever.
IF YOU COULD HAVE 100 POUNDS OF ANYTHING (OTHER THAN MONEY),
WHAT WOULD YOU WANT?
Jason Farrell: Not food or chocolate -- they would spoil and I'd get sick rushing to finish.
Gum has a long shelf life. I guess gold kinda falls under the no money
thing. Diamonds?
WHAT THOUGHT OR SENTIMENT WOULD YOU LIKE TO PUT INTO ONE
MILLION FORTUNE COOKIES?
Jason Farrell: A mini poster of the "Hang in there, baby" kitten.
MICROSOFT OFFERS YOU $5 MILLION (US) TO USE ONE OF YOUR
SONGS IN ALL WINDOWS MILLENNIUM ADVERTISING. DO YOU TAKE THE MONEY?
WHAT DO YOU DO WITH IT?
Jason Farrell: I hate these questions. I start seriously trying to answer the question, and
in no time I'm all worked up frothing at the details of all the stuff I'd
get, who I'd share cash with and how much. I'd buy some guitar stuff, cars I
keep thinking about. I'd save some, of course... Build a house like no one's
ever seen. No, a classic Victorian with a curly slide from the 4th floor to
the living room. BUT I'll NEVER GET ANY OF THESE... And I hate that part of
the "X-million dollar" question. But, yes... I'd take the 5 million, and then I'd spend it.
WHAT ARTICLE OF CLOTHING SHOULD NEVER BE MADE OUT OF
LEATHER, AND WHY?
Jason Farrell: Vests... or ties. The temptation to skip wearing a shirt underneath these
articles would be too great for some... and personally I just don't want to
see that.
IF YOU COULD DO ONLY ONE JOB, 8 HOURS A DAY, 5 DAYS A WEEK
FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, WHAT WOULD YOU WANT THAT JOB TO BE?
Jason Farrell: Not nearly as glamourous as the $5 Million question. People are answering
this one all the time. It doesn't matter what I choose, I'd quickly grow to
resent it. So it would have to be something open-ended, like World Traveler.
Or maybe the Monkeys-on Motorcycle Trainer from the circus question?
WHAT IS THE WORST WAY TO DIE?
Jason Farrell: Drowning. Or burning. Or freezing. Or any combination of those (it would
probably have to involve boats).
IF YOU COULD BE THE SPOKESPERSON FOR ANY PRODUCT ON THE
MARKET, WHAT PRODUCT WOULD YOU CHOOSE TO REPRESENT?
Jason Farrell: I used to think it would be Coca Cola... They have the coolest historic and
iconographic thing going, plus I must've drank more Coke than water in my
life. But I don't really drink Coke anymore... so now it would have to be
Emergen-C.
