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Right now, with no advance notice, and for reasons we're not going to bother explaining, you must get rid of one album from your record collection. Which title gets the chop?
Phil Skarich: Slayer's Reign in Blood. No, wait, I want that. I guess that crappy Sweet record
I bought recently...I forget the name of it, but it's no Desolation Boulevard.
You wake up one morning and discover that you've grown two feet taller overnight. How does it affect your life?
Phil Skarich: I'm already pretty tall, so I wouldn't like that much at all. I'd have an even harder
time finding a good-fittin' pair of trousers.
What three things must a town or city have in order for you to be able to live happily there?
Phil Skarich: People...water...some rocks.
What's more important: good music or good food? And why?
Phil Skarich: Good music. I don't care about food that much.
Would you rather be anal probed by aliens or have a root canal without anaesthetic? Explain your choice.
Phil Skarich: The aliens, totally! I've already had a root canal and I'm sure the aliens would be very gentle.
Why does the wheel in the sky keep on turning?
Phil Skarich: That's a silly question. I live in Detroit. Shut up!
You've just been elected to the US senate (if you're not a US citizen, please either pretend you are or move forward on the assumption that you've taken a similar government-type position in your own country). What's on your agenda legislation-wise?
Phil Skarich: Get rid of all the bands.
If the moon were made of cheese, what kind of cheese would it be made of? Please explain your reasoning.
Phil Skarich: Whaddya mean, "if"?
You've just won a contest in which the prize is your "dream car". What make and model of car do you choose? (And no, you can't just take the money.)
Phil Skarich: That question's gay. I don't dream about cars.
You can go back in time and kill one person without disrupting the space/time continuum, creating a paradox and causing the universe to collapse upon itself. Who would it be?
Phil Skarich: I wouldn't want to kill anyone, especially if it's not going to fuck up the space/time continuum. What's the point?
What's the best way to spend a rainy day?
Phil Skarich: Going back in time without disrupting the space/time continuum...and killing you.
What is the coolest animal to watch a nature show about?
Phil Skarich: Horseradishes.
What do you do now, as a result of widespread internet access, that you didn't do ten years ago?
Phil Skarich: Masturbate at work.
Who did you last give flowers and why?
Phil Skarich: My girlfriend...for her birthday.
The thong: instrument of social change or harbinger of dark times?
Phil Skarich: Thongs are terrible, simply terrible.
The police have just nailed you for some kind of minor infraction. What were you most likely to have been doing?
Phil Skarich: Again, masturbating at work.
Would you shop at a supermarket run by ninjas? Why or why not?
Phil Skarich: I don't see why not. I'm sure they'd be very gentle...with the produce, I mean.
Taking into account all current political, social and economic situations, which country would you most like to be and why?
Phil Skarich: I'd like to be in Big Country.
Tell us about your weirdest experience with a fan.
Phil Skarich: Fans are just friends you haven't met yet.
When was the last time you had an entire day to yourself, and what did you do with it?
Phil Skarich: It's been a while. I honestly don't remember. I probably revelled in the act of "not-doing-ness".
What's the stupidest thing you've ever done while drunk? If you're a non-drinker, please limit your self-righteous response to 25 words.
Phil Skarich: Strangely enough, I actually get smarter when I drunk, but I once woke
up with some half-eaten nachos in my mouth. That was pretty cool...I mean, stupid.
What's your favorite thing to do when you can't sleep?
Phil Skarich: Watch TV, I guess. I can always sleep. I'm half asleep right now.
What are your fellow band members' most irritating habits? If you have no fellow band members, what are your own most irritating habits?
Phil Skarich: They all think they're smarter than I am, but they're not! Especially after I've had a few.
You're making a guest appearance as yourself in the TV show of your choice. What's the show, and how do you fit into the plot?
Phil Skarich: I'm an ambulance driver on MASH. A torrid affair with "Hot Lips" Houlihan soon finds
us both making excuses...hilarious excuses!
In three sentences or less, please give your opinion on the current state of the world.
Phil Skarich: Oh, I think it's great! If we could just get rid of all those Mexicans.
A national guardsman from Ohio recently changed his name to Optimus Prime, after the Transformer. If you could change your name to anything, what would you change it to?
Phil Skarich: It would take a national guardsman from Ohio to do something like that. What a dick.
I would change mine to Bunny Tremolo.
We're considering lobbying the government to pass a law banning the use of certain overplayed words -- for example, "new", "flaming" and "electric" --in band names. What other words should be banned?
Phil Skarich: "The", "and", "a", "or", "jam", and "banned". And "jam banned".
Would you rather tour the world for a year, living out of hotels and minibuses, playing to sellout crowds but estranged from all meaningful interpersonal contact, or be crowned the next indie god(s) but be damned to a lifetime of college radio airplay, widespread obscurity and eventual golden years filled with soundtrack work?
Phil Skarich: I masturbate at work! God.
What's the most un-rock and roll hobby or interest you have?
Phil Skarich: Umm, barring my last answer, I fancy a good croquet match every now and then.
What's the stupidest thing a reviewer ever said about you or your band?
Phil Skarich: In a four-star review, Mojo said that we "sit uncomfortable and warm". I still don't know what that means.
Which would be worse -- going three rounds with Mike Tyson, or having sex with Anna Nicole Smith?
Phil Skarich: Tyson...what are you, stupid?
What's in your fridge right now?
Phil Skarich: A bunch of crap that Noelle bought that you have to "prepare" to eat. Ingredients...they're useless to me.
What advice would you give to Michael Jackson?
Phil Skarich: Keep up the great work, kiddo!
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From the Times Beach Records bio:
Deadstring Brothers began as a two-piece in fall 2001 when singer/guitarist Kurt Marschke met pedal steel player Peter Ballard while doing session work. Discovering their mutual love of old country music, the duo began playing covers at any local dive that would have them. After Marschke and Ballard began writing rootsy original songs, they expanded the line-up to include the organ/electric piano of Aric Karpinski, and the rhythm section of drummer William King and bass player Philip Skarich. Since then, the Deadstring Brothers have worked to develop their own take on Americana, drawing influences from a variety of sources. "It's all in there somehow," declares Marschke, "but blues and country music just feel the most natural."
-- George Zahora
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