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Various religions suggest that there's a "special" hell for certain sins (hurting children, being cruel to animals, using the word "blog" as a verb, etc). Who else needs a "special" hell?
Jason Blood: Dr. Phil.
Due to poor financial planning, you've got to eat for an entire week on only US$10. What do you buy, food-wise?
Jason Blood: Probably as much Pabst and Slim Jims as I can get with $10. I've been poor most of my life, so I could live a week on that no problem, but I don't want to divulge my secrets.
What's the biggest misconception that people have about you?
Jason Blood: That I give a shit.
What's the worst injury you've ever suffered for your art (i.e. second degree burns from shorted-out mic, broken leg from failed stage dive)? Tell us about it.
Jason Blood: You know... none, really. I am fairly void of battle scars. I did almost get my ass kicked once because I'm friends with the Koffin Kats. That's where hanging out with those guys will get you. I don't recommend it. Lots of bruises and broken fingers, but nothing really memorable.
You've got unlimited funding and technical expertise to make an IMAX movie on the topic of your choice. What do you choose? Describe the obligatory vertigo-inducing camera shot that makes the entire audience clutch their stomachs.
Jason Blood: Well, I'm a pornographer by trade... so you can figure out what kind of movie I'd be making. The "stomach clenching" shot is too disgusting to talk about here.
You've locked your car keys inside the tour van and don't have AAA. How do you get the door open?
Jason Blood: Our tour manager/merch guy/good friend Scott would probably shoot it open. Seriously.
Ever find useful stuff in the garbage? Describe your best-ever dumpster find and how you used it.
Jason Blood: I found a memory card with a bunch of nudies on it a few months back right next to a dumpster. That wasn't very "useful", though, because this broad was all kinds of busted. I don't really play in the trash.... I've definitely been known to play in the mud, but never in the trash.
In the UK, trying to kill the Queen is still technically a capital offence. If the Queen tried to commit suicide and failed, could she be sentenced to death? Explain.
Jason Blood: Sure. Let's go with that.
If you were a 50ft high Tyrannosaurus Rex, would you use your powers for good or evil? Who would you go after first?
Jason Blood: I'd challenge a Russian Tyrannosaurus Rex to a fight after he killed my best friend, then travel to Russia to train and then kick his ass and win the respect and admiration of all of the Russian dinosaurs.
You've decided to write a musical. What's it about and who's the star?
Jason Blood: It's about a robot tranny, starring Webster. I don't need to explain it because it obviously writes itself.
What's your favorite board game? Why do you like it?
Jason Blood: Mousetrap, because you get to set all that shit up.
Everyone likes at least one cheesy/crappy song that totally kills their cred. What's yours?
Jason Blood: If I had cred, all of the Journey that I listen to might kill it.
The standard touring vehicle is always a beat-up van. What has been the worst/weirdest method of conveyance you've had to use on a tour?
Jason Blood: Nothing weird. We've been pretty fortunate so far.
What was the best meal you were supplied by a tour venue? What was the worst?
Jason Blood: Sam's Burger Joint in San Antonio. Best fucking burger I have ever had. There is no worst. You can never bitch about free food on tour.
Will it ever truly be possible to "rock the vote", or will apathy, indifference and laziness always triumph over activism?
Jason Blood: I prefer to "Passively Watch the Vote". So yeah, the second thing.
You discover a new disease, "(Your name here)'s Syndrome". What are its symptoms? What is the cure for "(Your name here)'s Syndrome"?
Jason Blood: I bet somebody has already said Whiskey Dick. Red Sock syndrome. Its symptoms are your asshole turned inside out from getting fucked in the ass with no lube. There is no cure. Just tuck that shit back in and hope that your butthole can regain its integrity.
You want to cry? I'll give you something to cry about. What would you like to cry about?
Jason Blood: My friend Matt told me the other day that he cried when the Rams won the Super Bowl. Can you believe that shit?
If you could watch one historical event re-enacted by a cast of chimpanzees, which one would it be, and why?
Jason Blood: The Boston Tea Party. Because that shit would be funny.
What is the coolest tattoo you've ever seen (and don't choose one of your own)?
Jason Blood: Tattoos are not cool. You shouldn't mess with god's perfect creation.
How long after an unopened gallon of milk's "use-by" date has passed would you be willing to use it?
Jason Blood: I rarely pay attention to that. I'm a sniffer. If it stinks, I throw it out.
What is the most unusual item you've thrown up on/in?
Jason Blood: A stripper's lap. Coincidentally, that's also the most unusual place I've taken a dump.
Do you prefer the term "underwear" or "underpants"? What does that say about you?
Jason Blood: I prefer "Manties".
You've been asked to submit an anecdote or "tip" to a book called Everything I Need to Know About Life I Learned On Tour With My Band. What do you tell them?
Jason Blood: No broads in the van. And if you have a fear of public bathrooms, it's best to get over that shit now.
What basic freedoms are you prepared to give up in exchange for your and your family's safety?
Jason Blood: As long as I can smoke, drink, watch porn, and carry a gun, I'm cool. You can take away my right to vote since I don't do it anyway.
Due to a breakthrough in technology, it's possible to learn any skill, no matter how complex, pretty much instantly, by uploading the information directly into your brain (yes, like in The Matrix). Unfortunately, you can only do it once. What skill would you learn, and why?
Jason Blood: I want to learn the internet. I heard there's free porn and Princes in Africa that will give you 10 million dollars if you just give them your account number. Awesome!
Not to be morbid, but let's assume that (a) you've died, and (b) you filled out an organ donor card and potential recipients are lining up. Which part of your body do you think will be most sought-after? Are there any bits no-one will want?
Jason Blood: Nobody's gonna want any of this. I have horrible vision, my lungs, kidneys and liver are totally shot... I doubt my heart's in very good condition. I guess if anybody needs some healthy balls though, I'm your man.
A long-lost possession has turned up on Ebay, and you're prepared to pay much more than it's worth just to finally get it back. What is it? Why is it worth so much to you?
Jason Blood: I'm drawing a blank. I wouldn't mind having my sobriety back. No, that's bullshit, I don't want that at all.
You've been given the resources and financial backing to create a new satellite TV network that caters specifically to your tastes and the tastes of people like you. What's it called, and what does it show?
Jason Blood: The 24 hour Donkey Show network.
There are literally hundreds of euphemisms for masturbation. What's the best one you've heard?
Jason Blood: Yankin' the ham splitter. Thanks, Brock.
Which is worse: downloading an album and burning copies for five friends, or shoplifting one physical copy of the same CD from an overpriced national retailer? Explain your answer.
Jason Blood: I could really give a shit either way. People are going to do what they're gonna do, and I've got bigger things to worry about. Like how in the hell I let my Hustler subscription lapse.
A few years ago, anal sex was still taboo; nowadays it's trendy. What will be the next major sexual taboo to fall?
Jason Blood: Bukkake. You heard it here first. This time next year there will be high school bukkake parties and nobody will think anything of it. But if you happen to know where any of these parties will be held, please let me know.
What, in your opinion, is the best book ever written? And why?
Jason Blood: Marvels. Because it's about superheroes and shit. Yeah, I don't read novels, I only read books that are in comic form.
The USA needs a universal healthcare system. So far, no President has gotten anywhere near implementing one. Why do you think they keep failing? (Bonus: Outline your own plan for universal healthcare in 100 words or less.)
Jason Blood: Because we refuse to follow Canada's lead. And for some reason somebody thought it was a good idea to make American taxpayers responsible for the care and expense of illegal aliens... good idea, dipshit.
Right this very second, what are you most looking forward to, and why?
Jason Blood: Friday. I have a bottle of 20 year old scotch and some other illicit substances that I will be ingesting.
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The members of Demon City Wreckers hail from a variety of music, work and lifestyle backgrounds that include the following in no particular order: hardcore punk, prison, metal, adult film, and industrial music. Their favorite bands in no particular order are Sloppy Seconds, Johnny Cash, Gorilla, Motorhead, Godless Wicked Creeps, Minor Threat, Asmodeus, Hank Sr. and Misfits. Lyrical influences and inspiration for the Wreckers come from classic horror flicks like Frankenstein and the Creature from the Black Lagoon along with non-fictional subject matter like the Black Dahlia Murders. Similarly, the Demon City Wreckers make no bones about taking on the standpoint of an actual serial killer in some songs, displaying disturbing points of view from the more pro-actively violent types in our society.
Their full-length debut, Inner Demons, was released in May.
-- George Zahora
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