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What band did you listen to most during the eighties? Do you still like them?
David Chase: Hall & Oates. Hall sucks. I only like Oates now.
What is your worst memory of elementary school? Of high school?
David Chase: Elementary school: crapping my shorts. High school: crapping on my shorts.
You're about to -- ahem -- get lucky. What album is playing in the background? Who'd you choose it?
David Chase: Joe Satriani --that way the sex would be way better than the music.
What was the first thing you ever shoplifted? Why did you take it?
David Chase: Fountain drinks from the deli at the grocery store. It was too easy.
What's the biggest risk you've ever taken? Why'd you take it?
David Chase: Playing music. I took it because you will never get screwed over, and you are guaranteed to make lots of money. Yeah! It's true!
Did you go to your high school prom? If so, who did you go with?
David Chase: Yes, I took a freshman and was arrested.
What movie would you recommend to absolutely anyone? Why?
David Chase: Blazing Saddles, because you just can't get away with that crap any more.
For reasons we won't bother going into right now, you're going to be locked in the back of a truck for a sixteen hour drive between gigs. If you could have any musician, past or present, back there to keep you company, who would it be?
David Chase: Michael Jackson...depending on if he brought the glove or not.
What is your strongest, most unshakeable belief?
David Chase: My fart trumps your poo.
What's the worst band you've ever heard? Why do they suck?
David Chase: Dropsonic. They just suck because they do.
If you were a porn star, what would your "porn name" be?
David Chase: Magnum P.I ( penis insertion ).
You're on your way to a show, and all of a sudden you find yourself in the middle of a huge four-way battle between pirates, ninjas, robots and intelligent apes from the future. Your only hope of getting to your gig is to pick a side. Who do you join, and why?
David Chase: Got to go with the pirates. They'll give everyone their scurvy. Plus they're so surly!
If you could sponsor any beverage -- appear in their ads, receive a lifetime supply and never be seen drinking a competing product -- what beverage would it be?
David Chase: PBR.
What's wrong with Rolling Stone these days?
David Chase: Oh, those guys. Supposedly they are gathering some kind of moss. I think it only affects aging rockers.
You've traveled back in time and met yourself, age sixteen. What do you think?
David Chase: You fucking nerd! You'll have sex in one more year!
Which would be worse: three hours on a bus full of four year-olds, or three hours on a bus full of eighty year-olds? Why?
David Chase: Eighty year olds. Their breath smells funny.
The US government is considering far more aggressive regulation of leather pants. Under the new rules, who should or shouldn't be allowed to wear them?
David Chase: Your fat ass!
What, in your opinion, is the best porn?
David Chase: The kind of porn where people have sex a lot.
Will the next Star Wars movie suck? Why or why not?
David Chase: Of course. It's all downhill from here, people.
How many roads must a man walk down before they call him a man?
David Chase: There's that one road that'll do it...but I don't remember the name.
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Dropsonic's The Big Nothing was recently reissued by 54° 40" or Fight. They'll be on tour on and off throughout the summer.
-- George Zahora
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