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Various religions suggest that there's a "special" hell for certain sins (hurting children, being cruel to animals, using the word "blog" as a verb, etc). Who else needs a "special" hell?
Chris Reilly: Rude people. I mean how can you not say please and thank you? It isn't that hard.
Due to poor financial planning, you've got to eat for an entire week on only US$10. What do you buy, food-wise?
Chris Reilly: $10 a week is like winning the lottery. When we are on tour, we cook rice and coffee in
parking lots because we are too broke to actually buy food. But I guess if I had $10 a week
specifically for food, I would probably move up to high class rice with little bits of
hot dog in it and name brand coffee with real cream instead of coffee mate.
What's the biggest misconception that people have about you?
Chris Reilly: Everyone knows everything about me and they are always right.
You've locked your car keys inside the tour van and don't have AAA. How do you get the door open?
Chris Reilly: Sit back and wait while Chris Veska builds some type of robot to open the doors.
Ever find useful stuff in the garbage? Describe your best-ever dumpster find and how you used it.
Chris Reilly: Tim Horton's day-old doughnuts are an awesome taste treat and make excellent projectiles.
In the UK, trying to kill the Queen is still technically a capital offence. If the Queen tried to commit suicide and failed, could she be sentenced to death? Explain.
Chris Reilly: I am pretty sure that the queen can do as she pleases.
If you were a 50ft high Tyrannosaurus Rex, would you use your powers for good or evil? Who would you go after first?
Chris Reilly: What good could you possibly do as a 50ft high Tyrannosaurus Rex? I would just eat as
many people as I could and then smash the rest.
What's your favorite board game? Why do you like it?
Chris Reilly: You can't really go wrong with Risk. It is probably the greatest game ever made. We actually decided to let go of our old singer over a five-hour game.
Everyone likes at least one cheesy/crappy song that totally kills their cred. What's yours?
Chris Reilly: Fuck man, I like them all. I'm so uncool.
The standard touring vehicle is always a beat-up van. What has been the worst/weirdest method of conveyance you've had to use on a tour?
Chris Reilly: My old band did a tour in a convoy of cars. Three in total.
What was the best meal you were supplied by a tour venue? What was the worst?
Chris Reilly: Free food? I must have missed that one.
What is the coolest tattoo you've ever seen (and don't choose one of your own)?
Chris Reilly: Probably either a sacred Tim Horton's cup that my friend has or my girlfriend's Alice in Wonderland
Sleeve. The cup is funny when you are as addicted to coffee as I am and my girlfriend's sleeve is
just incredible. Both were done by Derek Lewis (Ghost) of Lucky Devil Tattoos in Toronto, who also
happens to be a sponsor. http://www.hartless.ca
What is the most unusual item you've thrown up on/in?
Chris Reilly: I don't think it is unusual, but throwing up out of a little crack in the van window while driving
through the Canadian Rockies really really sucks. As does cleaning baked-on puke off the side of
the van with baby wipes the next day.
Do you prefer the term "underwear" or "underpants"? What does that say about you?
Chris Reilly: If they were underpants, wouldn't they be long like pants? Stupid word.
You've been asked to submit an anecdote or "tip" to a book called Everything I Need to Know About Life I Learned On Tour With My Band. What do you tell them?
Chris Reilly: Get a YMCA membership. Free showers every day.
Not to be morbid, but let's assume that (a) you've died, and (b) you filled out an organ donor card and potential recipients are lining up. Which part of your body do you think will be most sought-after? Are there any bits no-one will want?
Chris Reilly: I don't think anyone would want this crap. I don't even want half of it.
A long-lost possession has turned up on Ebay, and you're prepared to pay much more than it's worth just to finally get it back. What is it? Why is it worth so much to you?
Chris Reilly: All my old tapes. Man, I wish I still had them.
You've been given the resources and financial backing to create a new satellite TV network that caters specifically to your tastes and the tastes of people like you. What's it called, and what does it show?
Chris Reilly: I would call it Valour-O-Vision and it would play Law & Order 24 hours a day.
Which is worse: downloading an album and burning copies for five friends, or shoplifting one physical copy of the same CD from an overpriced national retailer? Explain your answer.
Chris Reilly: There isn't really a whole lot we can do about either situation. Stealing is bad no matter who you steal from.
But if you do decide to steal our music at least come to a show, buy a shirt, tell some friends or support us in a way That you can afford. We all work really really shitty jobs so that we can afford to do this and every little bit of money and support really helps.
A few years ago, anal sex was still taboo; nowadays it's trendy. What will be the next major sexual taboo to fall?
Chris Reilly: Kissing. Does anyone still do that?
The USA needs a universal healthcare system. So far, no President has gotten anywhere near implementing one. Why do you think they keep failing? (Bonus: Outline your own plan for universal healthcare in 100 words or less.)
Chris Reilly: Just move to Canada already.
Right this very second, what are you most looking forward to, and why?
Chris Reilly: Actually, we are starting filming for our first video this weekend so that is pretty exciting.
How long after an unopened gallon of milk's "use-by" date has passed would you be willing to use it?
Chris Reilly: Well it is just a suggested date, so I would give it a few more days. Or untill it smells. That's my general guideline.
You want to cry? I'll give you something to cry about. What would you like to cry about?
Chris Reilly: Puppies.
What's the worst injury you've ever suffered for your art (i.e. second degree burns from shorted-out mic, broken leg from failed stage dive)? Tell us about it.
Chris Reilly: I have inhaled a fair amount of paint fumes in my day and I am sure in the future it will come back to haunt me. On a side note, silver smells the best.
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Canada's Eleven Minutes Away released Arson Followed Me Home on Deep Elm back in April of '05. It seems to be doing well for them. If you live in Ontario, you can probably catch them playing somewhere local.
-- George Zahora
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