What's the worst "day job" you've ever had?
Jennifer Charles: I've had about twenty different "day job" type things, all very different
from each other, but I'd say the worst is probably working in a gourmet deli
(I had to use one of those giant metal slicers, and they are really gross.
My boss was very uptight and everything came to a head when I unwrapped the
jarlsberg from the wrong end.).
How much time do you spend on the internet each week? What
do you do when you're on?
Jennifer Charles: About five hours a week, mostly spent waiting for our 14.4 modem to
download some useless information.
Most people, whether they're willing to admit it or not,
have a uniform -- clothing they'll
default to when left to their own devices. What's your uniform?
Oren Bloedow: I like to dress as a sixteenth century Swiss fusileer around the house,
but when I go out, I wear a gossamer nightie with dried anchovy pendants and
a vinyl snood.
What is your definition of a "good person"?
Jennifer Charles: Someone who can fuck your brains out, make you breakfast, then pick up
your dry-cleaning.
What is the dumbest fashion trend of the last hundred years?
Oren Bloedow: Considering overgrown deformed polyps like George W. Bush as a
figurehead of a country.
What book (or books) that you read as a child has most influenced your life
as an adult?
Jennifer Charles: The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein.
Given the choice, would you rather stake your life on your
ability to quickly solve a complex mathematical equation, or attempt to
fight/escape from a large grizzly bear? Why?
Oren Bloedow: I'd take the bear. Bears are cuddly and cute. They have soft brown fur
and they love to snuggle and love. Their big drippy noses snuffle on you as
they give you sweet licky kisses and their sweet breath mingles with the
smell of your sudden shameful desire as you find a hot throbbing rod forming
in your trousers. I feel her love growing wet and wanton beneath me, the
bear, and her jaws snap hot and harmless at my ear as I drive, drive, drive
my man meat into her willing ursine snatch.
What's your favorite video/computer game? Don't have one? How about board
games?
Jennifer Charles: My favorite game is chess. I also dig scrabble and cards.
If you could elect to never, ever, ever have to kiss one particular
person now living, who would that person be?
Oren Bloedow: Cameron Diaz. Tell her there's nothing she can do to make me change my
mind. Nothing. I don't care if she comes over on a freezing January night with just a camisole on, begging to be let in. I'd like to see her try it. Even if she called me, twenty four hours, at 718-369-6600, nothing she can do will arouse me.
You are able to get away with murder once, and only once.
Who, if anyone, do you kill?
Oren Bloedow: I kill Olde Father Time. I break into his squalid hovel up at the top
of foggy Mt. Katahdin, and holding my garotte under his cursed dewlaps, say
"make your peace with God", then one quick jerk and his cork is popped. And
then...and then...and THEN?
You're stuck at my house. It's your turn to cook. What meal do you cook me?
Jennifer Charles: Orrechiete di rabe with a big crusty bread and Raineri olive oil (the
best cold pressed extra virgin unfiltered olive oil). For dessert, fresh figs
served with a good dessert wine.
If you could make a rock 'n' roll porn movie, who
would be your two co-stars?
Jennifer Charles: Jimi Hendryx would definitley be the star. Guess I would be the co-star.
I once had a really erotic dream about Jimi, and whoa is he a deft lover. Possible titles for the film:
The Wind Cries Fuck Me, All Along The CockTower, Castles Made of Cum.
What "official version" of a historical event do you most
suspect to be a load of crap?
Oren Bloedow: The Diet of Worms. Despite the somber appearance of the event, I
believe that it, like Easter Island, "wasn't nothin but a party".
What is/was the "most wanted" item on your holiday wish list?
Oren Bloedow: Danny Ferrington acousic guitar.
· · · · · · ·
We love the Elysian Fields -- not just for their music, but for the fact that
they've given us one of the raunchiest sets of Pointless Questions in ages. Their latest album, Queen of the Meadow, came out on Jetset Records last year.
-- George Zahora
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