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You've been given a robot that can be trained to perform one standardized
task perfectly, as often as necessary. What do you train it to do?
Erik Sanko: Change my guitar strings.
You are seriously ill. There are two vaccines that will save your life,
but both have side effects: one will permanently eliminate your sense of
taste, and the other will permanently eliminate all feeling in your
genitals. Which vaccine would you choose?
Erik Sanko: The sense of smell. It sort of stinks already
anyway (no pun intended).
Somehow you've gotten into a fight with someone twice your size. Where do
you aim the first punch?
Erik Sanko: A good kick to the nuts will drop even the biggest
goon to his knees.
The "fast-forward" and "skip" buttons on all your stereo equipment are
broken, and you can't afford to repair them right now. For the time being,
you can only listen to albums from beginning to end, without skipping any
songs. What albums in your collection are still listenable?
Erik Sanko: The Sinking of the Titanic by Gavin Bryars.
If given the perfect opportunity to be unjust, would a just person succumb
to it?
Erik Sanko: No. Isn't that inherent in the meaning of "just"?
You've been asked to write the Encyclopedia Britannica entry on
yourself. What does it say?
Erik Sanko: "American composer and puppet maker. Known
primarily for his dark sense of humor and as the man
who invented the word 'dramastic'."
You've somehow been given the chance to spend the day with a character (not
an actor) from any film or television program. Who do you choose?
Erik Sanko: The Sean Connery character in The Name of the
Rose, a medieval James Bond.
The people of the town where you were born want to name a building after
you. They've asked you to choose the sort of building that best matches
your personality. What kind of building do you choose?
Erik Sanko: An Odditorium (sic) or possibly a highway rest stop.
What month of the year do you least anticipate? Why?
Erik Sanko: August. I hate the heat.
What animal would you most like to house in your back yard, if you could?
Erik Sanko: An octopus, provided I could have water in the
back yard.
When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
Erik Sanko: A musician, honestly.
If you could buy any rare collection in the world, which collection would
you choose? (This doesn't have to be a famous collection...but it can be.)
Erik Sanko: The Mutter Museum's collections of anatomical and
pathological specimens.
What's the best advice you've ever received? Who gave it to you?
Erik Sanko: When I was around twelve or thirteen, my best
friend's father told me to never do what I loved
merely as a means to make money because it would
cheapen its value and lose its sacredness.
You've been placed in the Witness Protection Program, and must change your
name. You're able to pick your new name. What do you call yourself?
Erik Sanko: Naum Gabo
What lesson should the world learn from the failure of all those dotcom
businesses?
Erik Sanko: There's no "virtual" for "tactile".
What steps should airlines take to help avoid a repeat of the September
11th tragedy?
Erik Sanko: Don't fly terrorists.
What is the greatest invention of the last ten years?
Erik Sanko: The metro card.
Thanks to a breakthrough in technology, you can have a perfect
memory-recording of one event in your life. Everything is included --
taste, smell, sound, vision and feeling; it basically means that you can
relive the event over and over again. What event would you want to relive?
Erik Sanko: The first show I ever played in Europe with The
Lounge Lizards when I was 20 years old.
What toy from your childhood would you most like to track down now?
Erik Sanko: My Corgi Yellow Submarine.
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Former Lounge Lizards bassist Erik Sanko released Past Imperfect, Future Tense last year. We liked it, and so will you.
-- George Zahora
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