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You've been given a robot that can be trained to perform one standardized
task perfectly, as often as necessary. What do you train it to do?
Michael Triplett: I would train it to do something only for entertainment purposes; what that might be I am not sure. Maybe sing or dance or something.
You are seriously ill. There are two vaccines that will save your life,
but both have side effects: one will permanently eliminate your sense of
taste, and the other will permanently eliminate all feeling in your
genitals. Which vaccine would you choose?
Michael Triplett: I believe I would choose the one that would eliminate my sense of taste, only because I think I eat to survive and you would eventually convert to the sense of feeling more like how clothes feel on the skin. You would still be able to feel hot, cold, soft, hard, crunchy, etc. I think that losing feeling in you genitals could create some major mental disturbances and could also cause major problems in a relationship. However, I am sure you could adapt to either one.
Somehow you've gotten into a fight with someone twice your size. Where do
you aim the first punch?
Michael Triplett: Well, it would depend on the opening that is available and how you were positioned to the opponent. Usually the first punch would only be creating a opening by drawing one of the opponent's weapons out. Every time someone punches or kicks they are creating an opening that can be attacked, so the first punch is usually a fake. The four places I would focus my strikes on would be either the knees, groin, nose or below the ear lobe.
The "fast-forward" and "skip" buttons on all your stereo equipment are
broken, and you can't afford to repair them right now. For the time
being, you can only listen to albums from beginning to end, without skipping any
songs. What albums in your collection are still listenable?
Michael Triplett: Too many to mention, but to name a few, any Mercury Program record, or the the record I am listening to right now -- the new Shannon Wright record, Dyed in the Wool.
If given the perfect opportunity to be unjust, would a just person succumb
to it?
Michael Triplett: That would depend on the level of unjustness; most people have already done so but it might be at such a small level they don't even realize.
You've been asked to write the Encyclopedia Britannica entry on
yourself. What does it say?
Michael Triplett: A human being that dwells in the northern hemisphere.
You've somehow been given the chance to spend the day with a character
(not
an actor) from any film or television program. Who do you choose?
Michael Triplett: Mr. Ed.
If you could instantly learn to play one instrument that you don't
currently play, what would it be?
Michael Triplett: The cello.
The people of the town where you were born want to name a building after
you. They've asked you to choose the sort of building that best matches
your personality. What kind of building do you choose?
Michael Triplett: I would not choose, I would have them choose.
What month of the year do you least anticipate? Why?
Michael Triplett: August, because it's too hot.
What animal would you most like to house in your back yard, if you could?
Michael Triplett: A monkey.
When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
Michael Triplett: A rocker.
If you could buy any rare collection in the world, which collection would
you choose? (This doesn't have to be a famous collection...but it can
be.)
Michael Triplett: I am not much into collecting.
What's the best advice you've ever received? Who gave it to you?
Michael Triplett: Everything happens for a reason; many people.
You've been invited to perform as the middle act in a three-act bill. You
get to choose the other two artists. Who opens for you, and who follows
you?
Michael Triplett: Well, I would hate to use the word open, but I would choose the tour that we just did with our friends the Mercury Program and Engine Down. Any order was good.
You've been placed in the Witness Protection Program, and must change your
name. You're able to pick your new name. What do you call yourself?
Michael Triplett: Phil Magroin.
What lesson should the world learn from the failure of all those dotcom
businesses?
Michael Triplett: Don't always job on the bandwagon.
Thanks to a breakthrough in technology, you can have a perfect
memory-recording of one event in your life. Everything is included --
taste, smell, sound, vision and feeling; it basically means that you can
relive the event over and over again. What event would you want to
relive?
Michael Triplett: To relive any normal day with my good friend Peter who passed away.
What toy from your childhood would you most like to track down now?
Michael Triplett: Can't think of one. I guess there wasn't a toy that I was that attached to.
Assuming that money, legality, etc. is no object, what is your intoxicant
of choice?
Michael Triplett: Not really any, but if I had to choose one it would be liquor.
Which is more dangerous in the wrong hands -- guns or knowledge?
Michael Triplett: Either one can be really dangerous, but with knowledge you can do anything you want. You would just hire someone else to use the gun, so as it's good, it can be equally bad, depending on how you use it.
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From the band's bio: "2001 finds Fin Fang Foom embracing a full, voluminous sound. Their sound has been expanded, led by Eddie Sanchez's rich, robust voice and a sinewy rhythm section. Texture, Structure, and the Condition of Moods is a full-length of enveloping melodies and an aggregation of genres and tones. Fin Fang Foom's latest musical incarnation is overwhelming but not overpowering, subtle but not subdued. With its full, deep resonances, as well as unexpected flourishes, Fin Fang Foom has crafted a memorable and resolute debut album."
-- George Zahora
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