Tod A.: Once, in a diner, I stole the tip left by the previous customer because I was too broke to pay for my own meal. I really regret doing it. Instead of stealing from from the restaurant via the old dine & dash, I stole from some poor waitress earning 3 bucks an hour.

IF YOU COULD ELECT A MUSICIAN AS PRESIDENT OF THE U.S. (OR LEADER OF YOUR HOME COUNTRY), WHO WOULD YOU CHOOSE?

Tod A.: George Clinton is already President, isn't he?

HAVE YOU EVER SHOPLIFTED? WHAT DID YOU TAKE AND WHY?

Tod A.: Too many times. CDs + records mostly, a lot of food too. A helpful tip: If you're going to steal food, go for the big ticket items like steaks. Stick 'em down your pants and walk out like you've got a big packet. Nobody ever has the guts to ask.

NAME A BOOK THAT MADE YOU CRY, AND TELL US WHY.

Tod A.: My autobiography, Confessions of a Unrepentant Sinner. It was so sad when I died at the end.

WHICH IS MORE EXCITING WITH A MEMBER OF WHICHEVER SEX YOU "GO FOR": A CLOSE GAME OF TWISTER OR AN INTENSE GAME OF SCRABBLE?

Tod A.: Scrabble, by far. Any idiot can play Twister.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE FORM OF EXERCISE?

Tod A.: Jogging to the liquor store.

WHAT DID YOU DO FOR THE MILLENNIUM?

Tod A.: Narrowly avoided a riot in Saigon. It was pretty funny. They were pelting the cops with coconuts.

NAME THREE SITUATIONS THAT WOULD BE MUCH FUNNIER WITH THE ADDITION OF MONKEYS.

Tod A.: Fashion shows, Funerals, and an appearance by Queen Elizabeth.

IF YOU COULD ISSUE ONE ALBUM OR ONE BOOK TO EVERYONE IN THE WORLD ON THEIR THIRTEENTH BIRTHDAY, WHAT WOULD THE ALBUM/BOOK BE?

Tod A.: Never Mind The Bollocks, Here's The Sex Pistols.

WHERE WOULD YOU RATHER PLAY: A CLUB THAT GIVES YOU LOTS OF GREAT FREE FOOD BUT HAS HORRIBLE BATHROOMS, OR A CLUB THAT DOESN'T FEED YOU BUT HAS HOT SHOWERS AND BIG FLUFFY TOWELS?

Tod A.: What's wrong with good food AND showers? No seriously, they do it in Europe...

ARE YOU COMFORTABLE SHOPPING ONLINE? IF SO, WHAT DO YOU BUY?

Tod A.: If you could get me a credit card number, I'd do it.

WHAT WAS THE WORST INVENTION OF THE 20TH CENTURY?

Tod A.: MTV.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH KIDS TODAY ANYWAY?

Tod A.: Two words: Big Pants.

IS A FEMALE PRESIDENT THE ANSWER TO AMERICA'S PROBLEMS?

Tod A.: Maybe, but what we really need is a president that can solve America's female problems. You know what I'm talking about, girls.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT CELLULAR PHONES? LIKE THEM? HATE THEM? GRUDGINGLY APPRECIATE THEM? WHAT? WHAT, DAMMIT?!

Tod A.: There's lots of payphones in New York. I don't like to be reachable 100% of the time.

TELL US ABOUT YOUR PETS. IF YOU HAVE NO PETS, MAKE ONE UP.

Tod A.: Two dogs: Slayer (a neurotic mutt) and Scatman Cruthers (a Border Collie obsessed with dirty socks).

NAME AN OBJECT YOU OWN THAT HAS LITTLE MONETARY VALUE, BUT THAT YOU WOULDN'T SELL FOR A MILLION DOLLARS.

Tod A.: You need to ask? (HINT: Think John Wayne Bobbit.)

WHAT'S HARDER: PLAYING SOLO FOR AN AUDIENCE OF 1000 FOR AN HOUR, OR GIVING A 30-MINUTE SPEECH TO THE SAME AUDIENCE?

Tod A.: Probably the speech. The reason I got into music in the first place was because of my lousy communication skills. Ask anybody.

IF YOU HAD TO BE TRAPPED IN A TV SHOW FOR A MONTH, WHAT SHOW WOULD YOU CHOOSE? AND WHY?

Tod A.: I don't know, but something where there's always a happy ending. It would be a refreshing change.

WHAT IS THE FUNNIEST LOOKING ANIMAL?

Tod A.: Humans. They look like shaved monkeys.

IF YOU COULD HAVE THE "ORIGINAL" OF ANYTHING, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

Tod A.: The master tapes of The White Album.

NAME A COMMERCIAL JINGLE THAT, FOR YOU, WAS CATCHIER THAN MOST POP SONGS.

Tod A.: It's hard to tell the difference anymore.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?

Tod A.: The end of Winter.

WHAT IS THE MOST FASCINATING SMELL?

Tod A.: Pheromones. We're not conscious of them but they influence our behavior.

IF YOU KNEW THAT BY NEVER LISTENING TO LOUD MUSIC AGAIN YOU'D ADD TEN YEARS TO YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU DO IT?

Tod A.: Yeah, and I'd give up smoking and drinking too.

WHAT KIND OF PERSON WEARS THONG UNDERWEAR?

Tod A.: I've never had the misfortune of finding out.

IF YOU HAD TO GIVE UP ONE SENSE (SIGHT/SMELL/TOUCH/TASTE/HEARING), WHICH ONE COULD YOU MOST READILY DO WITHOUT?

Tod A.: Probably smell. Most things in the modern world smell pretty bad anyway.

If you haven't followed music since the mid-nineties, you should still remember Tod A. as the bassist of Cop Shoot Cop. Firewater's albums, Get Off The Cross (We Need The Wood For The Fire) and The Ponzi Scheme are pretty much essential to any good record collection, and if you don't own them you should.