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What band did you listen to most during the eighties? Do you still like them?
Max Décharné: Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. Yes. Luckily, they’ve failed to branch out into a new, more complex jazz-funk direction.
What is your worst memory of elementary school? Of high school?
Max Décharné: Being there.
You're about to -- ahem -- get lucky. What album is playing in the background? Why'd you choose it?
Max Décharné: Metal Machine Music by Lou Reed. It helps me relax.
What was the first thing you ever shoplifted? Why did you take it?
Max Décharné: Never tried shoplifting -- most buildings weigh far too much.
If you could beat up anyone in the world and get away without the usual annoying real-world consequences -- jail time, lawsuits, bad press, etc. -- who would it be, and why?
Max Décharné: Attilla the Hun. Dead people don’t fight back.
What's the biggest risk you've ever taken? Why did you take it?
Max Décharné: Jaywalking in LA. I heard satanic voices in my head urging me to do it.
It's better to regret something you have done than it is to regret something you haven't done. What do you regret doing (other than agreeing to answer these questions)? Why did you do it?
Max Décharné: Getting up this morning. Damned if I know.
Did you go to your high school prom? If so, who did you go with?
Max Décharné: I’m from England, where they don’t have that sort of thing in schools in case it might lead to anarchy, lawlessness and rioting in the streets.
What movie would you recommend to absolutely anyone? Why?
Max Décharné: Wild Orchid, starring Mickey Rourke, because I like to see people suffer.
For reasons we won't bother going into right now, you're going to be locked in the back of a truck for a sixteen hour drive between gigs. If you could
have any musician, past or present, back there to keep you company, who
would it be?
Max Décharné: The entire string section of the Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra. I’m the sociable type.
What is your strongest, most unshakeable belief?
Max Décharné: Not sure –- it changes all the time.
What's the worst band you've ever heard? Why do they suck?
Max Décharné: The Verve. Why do they suck? Because they enjoy it, I guess.
If you were a porn star, what would your "porn name" be?
Max Décharné: Champion the Wonder Horse.
You're on your way to a show, and all of a sudden you find yourself in the middle of a huge four-way battle between pirates, ninjas, robots and intelligent apes from the future. Your only hope of getting to your gig is to pick a side. Who do you join, and why?
Max Décharné: Intelligent apes from the future preventing me from getting to a gig? Tell the truth, you’ve been smoking those funny cigarettes again, haven’t you...
If you could sponsor any beverage -- appear in their ads, receive a lifetime supply and never be seen drinking a competing product -- what beverage would it be?
Max Décharné: Tullamore Dew Irish Whiskey.
What's the best venue you've ever played? What's the worst? Why?
Max Décharné: Best: The Liquid Room, Tokyo, Japan; it’s on the top of a skyscraper, so the view from the dressing-room window is really something. Worst: The Astoria, London, England, because of the guys who work as "security".
What's wrong with Rolling Stone these days?
Max Décharné: Too much music stuff getting in the way of the expensive adverts.
Why are frogs amusing?
Max Décharné: They practice a lot at the weekends.
You've traveled back in time and met yourself, age sixteen. What do you think?
Max Décharné: I think I should keep doing it until there’s enough of me to form a football team.
Which would be worse: three hours on a bus full of four year-olds, or three hours on a bus full of eighty year-olds? Why?
Max Décharné: Both as bad as each other –- who wants to travel by bus?
The US government is considering far more aggressive regulation of leather pants. Under the new rules, who should or shouldn't be allowed to wear them?
Max Décharné: Billy Graham –- yes. Billy Corgan -- no.
What, in your opinion, is the best porn?
Max Décharné: The Trial by Franz Kafka. Mind you, it’s an acquired taste.
What food item could you eat every day for the rest of your life without getting bored of it? What's so good about it?
Max Décharné: The National Enquirer. It’s packed with vitamins and minerals.
Will the next Star Wars movie suck? Why or why not?
Max Décharné: Sure. All the other ones have, so why not this one?
How many roads must a man walk down before they call him a man?
Max Décharné: Wrong question –- how many roads must a man walk down before they give him a break and call him a taxi?
Everyone's replacing their least-favorite body parts with cybernetic ones. Which part(s) of your body would you replace?
Max Décharné: Carburetor, front forks, windshield.
What topics or statements would inspire you to call in to a talk radio program?
Max Décharné: 12th century Scandinavian agriculture.
What album(s) should everyone be given on their eighteenth birthday?
Max Décharné: Ramones by the Ramones (1976).
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The Flaming Stars just released their newest album, Sunset & Void -- which, if we do say so ourselves, is fucking great.
-- George Zahora
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