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Right now, with no advance notice, and for reasons we're not going to bother explaining, you must get rid of one album from your record collection. Which title gets the chop?
David Klotz: The Stone Roses' Second Coming. Cause it sounds better in my imagination
than it does when I actually listen to it.
You wake up one morning and discover that you've grown two feet taller overnight. How does it affect your life?
David Klotz: Well, I'd have to replace my wardrobe so I guess it would affect my checking
account.
What three things must a town or city have in order for you to be able to live happily there?
David Klotz: Fine restaurants, lots of bookstores and plenty of art-house cinemas.
What's more important: good music or good food? And why?
David Klotz: Good food. When we go see a gig, we spend way more time discussing where we should have dinner beforehand than anything else.
You've just been elected to the US senate (if you're not a US citizen, please either pretend you are or move forward on the assumption that you've taken a similar government-type position in your own country). What's on your agenda legislation-wise?
David Klotz: Reverse the Patriot Act, stop the privatization of water and power
utilities, establish universal health care and make corporations pay their
fair share in taxes.
You've just won a contest in which the prize is your "dream car". What make and model of car do you choose? (And no, you can't just take the money.)
David Klotz: I don't have a dream car, but I like the idea of one of those Toyota hybrid
cars. I have to say, I wish people would stop buying SUVs and I think
Hummers have no place on city streets.
What's the best way to spend a rainy day?
David Klotz: Rent movies and have dinner delivered.
What do you do now, as a result of widespread internet access, that you didn't do ten years ago?
David Klotz: Communicate to people all over the world on a regular basis.
Who did you last give flowers and why?
David Klotz: Emily (Cook, Fonda's vocalist and Dave's wife). She was out of town and I missed her.
The police have just nailed you for some kind of minor infraction. What were you most likely to have been doing?
David Klotz: Probably trespassing. I let my dog run off-leash in a nearby church parking
lot at night. They sometimes leave the gate open. Pretty bad-ass, huh?
Would you shop at a supermarket run by ninjas? Why or why not?
David Klotz: No. It could be dangerous with all the swordplay in the meat department.
Taking into account all current political, social and economic situations, which country would you most like to be and why?
David Klotz: Sweden. Good economy, better quality of life, good social programs and
exporter of fine pop groups.
When was the last time you had an entire day to yourself, and what did you do with it?
David Klotz: Well, I guess today is that day. Firstly, I'm finally replying to e-mails
that have been sitting in my inbox for months. Later I will take my dog
Charlie to the LaBrea tarpits. He loves chasing squirrels. And then I
think it's grocery shopping and errands. Terribly exciting.
What's the stupidest thing you've ever done while drunk? If you're a non-drinker, please limit your self-righteous response to 25 words.
David Klotz: Well nothing can be more stupid than driving, which I've done on occasion.
What's your favorite thing to do when you can't sleep?
David Klotz: Shop for records online.
What are your fellow band members' most irritating habits? If you have no fellow band members, what are your own most irritating habits?
David Klotz: Getting drunk before a gig. That goes for fellow band members and myself.
In three sentences or less, please give your opinion on the current state of the world.
David Klotz: Current state of the world: Not Good. The United States, with the help of
the World Bank and IMF, is an imperialist nation making the quality of life
worse for millions of people all over the world.
We're considering lobbying the government to pass a law banning the use of certain overplayed words -- for example, "new", "flaming" and "electric" --in band names. What other words should be banned?
David Klotz: The word "The". Maybe it shouldn't be completely banned, but perhaps just
regulated. You should have to get a license to use it.
Would you rather tour the world for a year, living out of hotels and minibuses, playing to sellout crowds but estranged from all meaningful interpersonal contact, or be crowned the next indie god(s) but be damned to a lifetime of college radio airplay, widespread obscurity and eventual golden years filled with soundtrack work?
David Klotz: I choose door number two, but it looks like we skipped all fun bits and went
straight to obscure soundtrack work.
What's the most un-rock and roll hobby or interest you have?
David Klotz: Single malt scotches from the island of Islay.
What's the stupidest thing a reviewer ever said about you or your band?
Sorted magazine said that we sounded like a cross between Mercury Rev and
The Beautiful South and that Emily can't sing.
Some of us have side gigs bartending. Help us out by making up a drink that we can name after you and sell to underaged girls in midriff tee-shirts.
David Klotz: Well, I'm not one for mixed drinks and I'm afraid that Lagavulin over ice
will not go over so well with the underage midriff crowd.
Which is a better reason for an R rating -- pointless, arbitrary violence or over-the-top kinky sex that has nothing to do with the story?
David Klotz: Definitely violence.
Which would be worse -- going three rounds with Mike Tyson, or having sex with Anna Nicole Smith?
David Klotz: Going three rounds with Mike Tyson would be way worse.
What's in your fridge right now?
David Klotz: Mint sprigs, eggs, beer, olives, Diet Coke and bacon.
What advice would you give to Michael Jackson?
David Klotz: "Michael, fire your publicist".
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Fonda first burst onto the scene five years ago with the brilliant post-shoegaze EP Music for Beginners. We've been fans ever since, and their latest, Catching Up to the Future, would make a great (late) Christmas gift. David Klotz also has the distinction of being one of the first people ever to answer the Pointless Questions, many hundred installments ago.
-- George Zahora
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