IF YOU WERE OFFERED A 60-SECOND SPOT DURING PRIME-TIME TELEVISION TO
SAY OR PROMOTE ANYTHING YOU WANTED, HOW WOULD YOU USE THE TIME?
Bill Foreman: I would encourage the audience to read Venedikt Erofeev's Moscow to the
End of
the Line. I stake my reputation on this book.
YOUR HOME IS BURNING DOWN. EVERYONE -- FAMILY, PETS, ETC. -- IS SAFELY
OUT OF IT. YOU HAVE TIME TO GO IN AND "SAVE" ONE ITEM. WHAT DO YOU GO
AFTER?
Bill Foreman: I would save my drum kit. Is that an item? If not the whole kit, then the
snare. The kit is a Slingerland Radio King, and all who have heard it
attest to
its absolutely amazing sound. Most particular in this regard is the snare
drum.
IF YOU REALLY WANTED TO PISS OFF YOUR DENTIST, WHAT FOOD WOULD YOU
EAT RIGHT BEFORE HAVING YOUR TEETH CLEANED?
Bill Foreman: The night before I would falafel, and I wouldn't brush my teeth the next
morning.
WHICH WOULD BE MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU: FREE HEALTH-CARE FOR EVERYONE,
OR A FREE COLLEGE EDUCATION FOR EVERYONE?
Bill Foreman: Free health care. When a student is sick, he or she cannot study.
OTHER THAN PLAYING MUSIC, WHAT OTHER SKILLS DO YOU HAVE THAT WOULD
ENTERTAIN A PAYING AUDIENCE?
Bill Foreman: I can offer one of the most fantastic lectures on the causes of the Stalinist
Terror this side of Arch Getty.
YOU ARE LOCKED IN A ROOM WITH A TICKING TIME BOMB. WITH 30 SECONDS LEFT,
YOU'VE GOT TO DECIDE WHETHER TO CUT THE RED WIRE, THE BLUE WIRE OR
THE GREEN WIRE. HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHICH WIRE TO CUT?
Bill Foreman: I would choose randomly. I do things like take $50 and put it on black at
roulette tables too.
IF YOU HAD TO EAT THE SAME THREE MEALS EVERY DAY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE,
WHAT WOULD THEY BE?
Bill Foreman: Rattlesnake for breakfast, cobra meat for lunch and straight to the
digestif for
dinner.
IF YOU COULD REQUIRE A VENUE TO GIVE YOU ANY ONE ITEM, HOWEVER EXTRAVAGANT,
BESIDES THE USUAL WATER/SODA/BEER, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Bill Foreman: A keg of Guinness.
WHAT BAD HABIT DO YOU HAVE THAT WOULD BE MOST LIKELY TO CAUSE YOU TO LOSE
A 9 TO 5 OFFICE JOB?
Bill Foreman: When I start to get comfortable I start to let assholes know that they're
assholes. This has not yet been a problem because they're assholes anyway,
and
all rational people agree with me. If I worked for a miserable asshole,
however,
I would lose my job, as I did once, in 1991.
YOU'VE JUST FALLEN OFF A 200-STOREY BUILDING. THE FALL WILL TAKE AT
LEAST 15 SECONDS. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT ON THE WAY DOWN?
Bill Foreman: If I should have been Buddhist or Christian, or if, as I lived my life, it
made
no difference either way.
IF YOU COULD WALK INTO ANY PAINTING OR PHOTO AND ACTUALLY EXPERIENCE THE
MOMENT IT DEPICTS, WHICH PAINTING/PHOTO WOULD YOU CHOOSE?
Bill Foreman: It sure as shit wouldn't be any of those Last Judgment ones. Maybe a
mandala of
some sort. That I'd like to dig.
IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE "SUPER POWER" (HEAT VISION, FLIGHT, ETC.), WHAT SUPER
POWER
WOULD YOU WANT?
Bill Foreman: Flight, without question. I have had numerous dreams in which I fly, and
in one,
when I was a kid, I was actually a kite.
IF YOUR FANS DECIDED TO SHOW THEIR APPRECIATION BY THROWING SOMETHING
"USEFUL" AT YOU WHILE YOU'RE PLAYING, WHAT WOULD YOU MOST WANT THEM TO THROW?
Bill Foreman: Jeez, man, you don't throw beer!
IF, IN ADDITION TO YOUR CURRENT RESIDENCE, YOU COULD MAINTAIN ANOTHER HOME
ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD, WHERE WOULD IT BE?
Bill Foreman: Martinique. I just had beer with a couple from Martinique and they were
lovely.
YOU'VE HEARD THE EXPRESSION "THEY COULDN'T PAY ME ENOUGH TO DO THAT JOB."
FOR YOU, WHAT IS "THAT JOB"?
Bill Foreman: High School administrator. I know of what I speak.
WHICH WOULD YOU LEAST WANT POSTED ON THE INTERNET: NUDE PICTURES OF YOU,
OR YOUR CREDIT CARD NUMBER(S)? WHY?
Bill Foreman: Credit Card Number, I got nothin' to hide.
SUDDENLY, YOUR DENTAL WORK HAS STARTED PICKING UP A RADIO STATION -- 24
HOURS A DAY.
WHAT SORT OF RADIO PROGRAMMING WILL DRIVE YOU MAD THE FASTEST?
Bill Foreman: Any station for which '80's is a genre rather than a period of time.
IF EVERYONE HAD TO WEAR A HAT AT ALL TIMES, WHAT KIND OF HAT WOULD YOU WEAR?
Bill Foreman: A cricket hat, the floppy kind.
WHAT WORLD RECORD WOULD YOU MOST WANT TO SET?
Bill Foreman: Longest life.
WHAT ANIMAL SOCIAL TRAIT DO YOU MOST WISH HUMANS WOULD ACQUIRE?
Bill Foreman: Shit outdoors.
WHAT PART OF YOUR BODY WOULD YOU LEAST MIND HAVING AMPUTATED?
Bill Foreman: A toe.
