You've been given a robot that can be trained to perform one standardized task perfectly, as often as necessary. What do you train it to do?
Shelby Cinca: Shuck corn.
You are seriously ill. There are two vaccines that will save your life, but both have side effects: one will permanently eliminate your sense of taste, and the other will permanently eliminate all feeling in your genitals. Which vaccine would you choose?
Shelby Cinca: Eliminate feelings in genitals.
Somehow you've gotten into a fight with someone twice your size. Where do you aim the first punch?
Shelby Cinca: Genitals (if they haven't gotten the vaccine),
The "fast-forward" and "skip" buttons on all your stereo equipment are broken, and you can't afford to repair them right now. For the time being, you can only listen to albums from beginning to end, without skipping any songs. What albums in your collection are still listenable?
Shelby Cinca: DUNE soundtrack by Toto.
If given the perfect opportunity to be unjust, would a just person succumb to it?
Shelby Cinca: They shouldn't.
You've been asked to write the Encyclopedia Britannica entry on yourself. What does it say?
Shelby Cinca: See "Nigerian Folk Tales: Ife Region".
You've somehow been given the chance to spend the day with a character (not an actor) from any film or television program. Who do you choose?
Shelby Cinca: Indiana Jones.
If you could instantly learn to play one instrument that you don't currently play, what would it be?
Shelby Cinca: The Sitar.
The people of the town where you were born want to name a building after you. They've asked you to choose the sort of building that best matches your personality. What kind of building do you choose?
Shelby Cinca: Museum.
What month of the year do you least anticipate?
Shelby Cinca: Hot months... I don't like the heat.
What animal would you most like to house in your back yard, if you could?
Shelby Cinca: A gazelle.
When you were a child, what did you want to be when
you grew up?
Shelby Cinca: Michael Jackson or Indiana Jones.
If you could buy any rare collection in the world, which collection would you choose? (This doesn't have to be a famous collection...but it can be.)
Shelby Cinca: Ancient texts from obscure secret societies.
What's the best advice you've ever received? Who gave it to you?
Shelby Cinca: "Your focus determines your reality."
You've been invited to perform as the middle act in a three-act bill. You get to choose the other two artists. Who opens for you, and who follows you?
Shelby Cinca: Nipsey Russell would open and Steve Martin would
You've been placed in the Witness Protection Program, and must change your name. You're able to pick your new name. What do you call yourself?
Shelby Cinca: The Concept.
What lesson should the world learn from the failure of all those dotcom businesses?
Shelby Cinca: Humans are funny.
What steps should airlines take to help avoid a repeat of the September 11th tragedy?
Shelby Cinca: Hiring Ninjas to hide in the overhead compartments.
What is the greatest invention of the last ten
Shelby Cinca: The wheelchair that climbs stairs.
Thanks to a breakthrough in technology, you can have a perfect memory-recording of one event in your life. Everything is included --taste, smell, sound, vision and feeling; it basically means that you can relive the event over and over again. What event would you want to relive?
Shelby Cinca: Seeing the space shuttle fly over a random pond in the
Washington, DC area with my dad while we were fishing.
What toy from your childhood would you most like to
track down now?
Shelby Cinca: None -- I still have them stashed in secret complexes.
Assuming that money, legality, etc. is no object, what is your intoxicant of choice?
MShelby Cinca: Music.
Which is more dangerous in the wrong hands -- guns
Shelby Cinca: Knowledge.
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Frodus has passed out of this world, but Radio-Activity -- a CD of the band's live radio performances -- will (probably) have hit the streets by the time you read this.
-- George Zahora