Biff Malibu: If those awful Kiss-reunion tours are still going on.

Dr. Gong: Music & health. And what the women are wearing, although fashion is BORING!

IF YOU COULD HAVE ANYTHING IN THE WORLD COMPLETELY TO YOURSELF FOR ONE DAY -- AND OBJECT OR PLACE -- WHAT WOULD IT BE?

Biff Malibu: The White House, complete with the suitcase and the Air Force One.

Dr. Gong: Charlize Theron.

IF A MOVIE WAS MADE ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WHERE WOULD IT BE SHELVED IN THE VIDEO STORE?

Biff Malibu: European arthouse movies.

Dr. Gong: Under boring sleaze (next to "King Frat").

YOU'RE GUEST-HOSTING A NIGHT-TIME TALK SHOW FOR ONE NIGHT ONLY. WHO WOULD BE YOUR IDEAL GUESTS?

Biff Malibu: General Patton, Salvador Dali, J. Edgar Hoover (preferably in drag) and James Ellroy.

Dr. Gong: David Lee Roth, Charles Bukowski (if he was alive) & Frank Sinatra (i.h.w.a).

IF YOU JOINED THE CIRCUS, WHAT WOULD YOU DO THERE?

Biff Malibu: Probably cook the food.

Dr. Gong: Fondle the midgets.

WHAT PERSON -- FAMOUS OR NOT -- CAN YOU IMITATE BEST?

Biff Malibu: I like to think I'm pretty good at our former Dutch booking agent.

Dr. Gong: Leif Juster. You know, that funny Norwegian comedian...? Did you ever see that movie Fjols til fjells?

IF YOU HAD TO EITHER WALK OR RUN TEN MILES EVERY DAY, WHERE WOULD YOU WANT TO DO IT?

Biff Malibu: Down some long slope.

Dr. Gong: It would be where ever the travelling Circus was. I would bring the midgets with me so naturally we would be walking.

WHAT'S THE BEST SONG EVER WRITTEN?

Biff Malibu: Right now: "Monkey Man" by the Rolling Stones.

Dr. Gong: "Ramble On" by Led Zeppelin.

YOU'VE BEEN GIVEN A POTION THAT ALLOWS YOU TO BECOME INVISIBLE FOR EXACTLY ONE HOUR. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO FOR THAT HOUR?

Biff Malibu: Probably steal a lot of stuff.

Dr. Gong: Walk around in big tight indoor crowds of people farting like a motherfucker. Although I don't call it that -- I call it releasing flavoured air.

YOU'VE JUST WRITTEN YOUR AUTOBIOGRAPHY. WHAT'S IT CALLED?

Biff Malibu: The Teacher.

Dr. Gong: Wait a minute, that's not his finger.

WHAT'S THE LONGEST YOU'VE EVER STOOD IN LINE? WHY'D YOU DO IT?

Biff Malibu: I spent 16 hours in a line for Bruce Springsteen tickets when I was a kid.

Dr. Gong: Probably at an airport, to catch my plane I guess.

IF YOU COULD HAVE 100 POUNDS OF ANYTHING (OTHER THAN MONEY), WHAT WOULD YOU WANT?

Biff Malibu: French foie gras.

Dr. Gong: Glazed donuts.

WHAT THOUGHT OR SENTIMENT WOULD YOU LIKE TO PUT INTO ONE MILLION FORTUNE COOKIES?

Biff Malibu: Every day can be a Saturday.

Dr. Gong: "Feel, feel, feel, feel my heat".

MICROSOFT OFFERS YOU $5 MILLION (US) TO USE ONE OF YOUR SONGS IN ALL WINDOWS MILLENNIUM ADVERTISING. DO YOU TAKE THE MONEY? WHAT DO YOU DO WITH IT?

Dr. Gong: Yes, I would spend it in shorter time than it takes to tell you how I will spend it.

WHAT ARTICLE OF CLOTHING SHOULD NEVER BE MADE OUT OF LEATHER, AND WHY?

Biff Malibu: Socks. Why is pretty obvious.

Dr. Gong: Socks, you figure that one out...

IF YOU COULD DO ONLY ONE JOB, 8 HOURS A DAY, 5 DAYS A WEEK FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, WHAT WOULD YOU WANT THAT JOB TO BE?

Dr. Gong: Make soundtracks for German caviar & midget movies.

WHAT IS THE MOST THOUGHTFUL THING A VENUE HAS EVER DONE FOR YOU?

Biff Malibu: Made a really good three-course meal? No catering stuff, just really good home cooking with all the trimmings, wine, coffee etc.

Dr. Gong: Had a decent backstage with large clean towels & good catering with nearly unlimited drinks. The really good ones serve you champagne cuz they have taste.

WHAT IS THE WORST WAY TO DIE?

Biff Malibu: Young.

Dr. Gong: See last question.

IF YOU COULD BE THE SPOKESPERSON FOR ANY PRODUCT ON THE MARKET, WHAT PRODUCT WOULD YOU CHOOSE TO REPRESENT?

Biff Malibu: Jaguar cars.

Dr. Gong: South Park & Simpsons videotapes.

IF YOU HAD TO JOIN THE CAST OF ONE OF THE CURRENT CROP OF REALITY TV SHOWS, WHICH ONE WOULD YOU CHOOSE?

Biff Malibu: Doesn't apply since we Norwegians are spared your crappy American TV.

Dr. Gong: I'd rather chose torture while listening to REM, New Radicals & Kenny G.

Norwegian cock-rock masters Gluecifer just released their latest opus, Tender is the Savage, on Sub Pop. Biff's the singer. Dr. Gong's the drummer. They're coming to your town soon and they're gonna fuck you up.