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Right now, with no advance notice, and for reasons we're not going to bother explaining, you must get rid of one album from your record collection. Which title gets the chop?
Steve Five: Belle and Sebastian -- I've been waiting to get rid of that for a while.
You wake up one morning and discover that you've grown two feet taller overnight. How does it affect your life?
Steve Five: Hey ladies, notice anything different about me?
What three things must a town or city have in order for you to be able to live happily there?
Steve Five: Girls, girls, and a good public library.
What's more important: good music or good food? And why?
Steve Five: Good food. Art is not eternal.
Would you rather be anal probed by aliens or have a root canal without anaesthetics? Explain your choice.
Steve Five: Definitely anal probe. I've never seen an alien before.
Why does the wheel in the sky keep on turning?
Steve Five: Because of the man on the silver mountain.
You've just been elected to the US senate (if you're not a US citizen, please either pretend you are or move forward on the assumption that you've taken a similar government-type position in your own country). What's on your agenda legislation-wise?
Steve Five: Hunter Thompson for mayor of Denver.
If the moon were made of cheese, what kind of cheese would it be made of? Please explain your reasoning.
Steve Five: Brie. Then it would be kind of squishy and fun to jump on. (And good with french bread.)
You've just won a contest in which the prize is your "dream car". What make and model of car do you choose? (And no, you can't just take the money.)
Steve Five: The Prankster's 1934 bus from The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test -- complete with electric kool aid.
You can go back in time and kill one person without disrupting the space/time continuum, creating a paradox and causing the universe to collapse upon itself. Who would it be?
Steve Five: Vin Diesel.
As an experiment, you spend an entire day with a stick of butter duct-taped to your forehead. What do you learn?
Steve Five: Winter is "tight". Summer is not.
What's the best way to spend a rainy day?
Steve Five: Makin' sweet love...
What is the coolest animal to watch a nature show about?
Steve Five: Anna Nicole Smith.
What do you do now, as a result of widespread internet access, that you didn't do ten years ago?
Steve Five: Computer love.
Who did you last give flowers and why?
Steve Five: My mom, for mother's day.
The police have just nailed you for some kind of minor infraction. What were you most likely to have been doing?
Steve Five: Underage girls.
Would you shop at a supermarket run by ninjas? Why or why not?
Steve Five: I would, just because they would be able to slice my cold cuts "extra thin".
What article (or articles) of clothing do you wish you never had to wear again? Why?
Steve Five: Boxer briefs. So restrictive...
Taking into account all current political, social and economic situations, which country would you most like to be and why?
Steve Five: Iceland, because they're smarter and more beautiful, and they're neutral.
Tell us about your weirdest experience with a fan.
Steve Five: Some dude came up to me before a show, he was about 45 and looked like a cracked-out James Brolin, and he started talking about the "Rose Of Sharon" (and not the band, it was some Biblical reference). Then he talked about the Hell's Angels, and proceeded to give me some speed. He called it "go fast", and it kept me up all night in Phoenix. I think it was glass.
When was the last time you had an entire day to yourself, and what did you do with it?
Steve Five: Right before tour, and I got drunk on absinthe.
Ever written a letter to the editor? What publication, and on what subject?
Steve Five: Wrote a letter to Alternative Press, concerning their "100 bands you need to know about in 2002". I told them that some bands, such as The Locust, weren't who you needed to know about in 2002; they were a band you needed to know about in 1998. Also, some other bands like P.O.D., no one ever needed to know about.
What's the stupidest thing you've ever done while drunk? If you're a non-drinker, please limit your self-righteous response to 25 words.
Steve Five: This is a tough one. Probably waking up on some stranger's porch in Louisiana, with an old black lady yelling at me.
What's your favorite thing to do when you can't sleep?
Steve Five: Meditate using self-hypnosis.
What are your fellow band members' most irritating habits? If you have no fellow band members, what are your own most irritating habits?
Steve Five: Our bass player likes to sing random songs here and there. I fucking hate my band members.
You're making a guest appearance as yourself in the TV show of your choice. What's the show, and how do you fit into the plot?
Steve Five: Twin Peaks, and I'm Audrey Horne's (Sherilyn Fenn) true love.
In three sentences or less, please give your opinion on the current state of the world.
Steve Five: Bunch of monkeys running around with too many bananas, goin' ape.
A national guardsman from Ohio recently changed his name to Optimus Prime, after the Transformer. If you could change your name to anything, what would you change it to?
Steve Five: Jimi Hendrix.
We're considering lobbying the government to pass a law banning the use of certain overplayed words -- for example, "new", "flaming" and "electric" --in band names. What other words should be banned?
Steve Five: The word "the" as a prefix. And all numbers as suffixes. (examples -- "the" Strokes or Blink "182").
Would you rather tour the world for a year, living out of hotels and minibuses, playing to sellout crowds but estranged from all meaningful interpersonal contact, or be crowned the next indie god(s) but be damned to a lifetime of college radio airplay, widespread obscurity and eventual golden years filled with soundtrack work?
Steve Five: Whichever one Darby Crash was.
What's the most un-rock and roll hobby or interest you have?
Steve Five: Impressionist painting, anyone?
What's the stupidest thing a reviewer ever said about you or your band?
Steve Five: Our music was the type that "Clear Channel would deem 'edgy'".
Some of us have side gigs bartending. Help us out by making up a drink that we can name after you and sell to underaged girls in midriff tee-shirts.
Steve Five: The Mr. T: two parts well vodka, one gold chain, one tuft of brown hair. Mix chain and liquor, sprinkle with hair and serve. Voila! Or, The Cross Country Trucker: double shot of Jim Beam, double shot of Jack Daniels, two yellow jackets. Mix double shots in tall rocks glass, drop in yellow jackets, and shoot. Breaker breaker one nine, my bolognas are on the fritz!
Which is a better reason for an r rating -- pointless, arbitrary violence or over-the-top kinky sex that has nothing to do with the story?
Steve Five: I would have to say certain movies, such as 2 Fast 2 Furious, mix both equally well...
Which would be worse -- going three rounds with Mike Tyson, or having sex with Anna Nicole Smith?
Steve Five: Mike Tyson, that tattoo on his face really freaks me out.
What's in your fridge right now?
Steve Five: Absinthe, Red Dog, and mustard. (Gold Circles is currently on tour.)
What advice would you give to Michael Jackson?
Steve Five: They don't have to look 18, they just have to be 18.
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From Copter Crash Records' bio: " Mining material somewhere between My Bloody Valentine and The Monorchid, Gold Circles deliver jilted, heavy guitar riffs, shoe-gazer atmospherics, an art-punk aesthetic, and elements of hardcore." That's right.
-- George Zahora
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