WHAT IS THE MOST EMBARRASSING THING YOU'VE EVER DONE IN A FAST FOOD
RESTAURANT?
Tim Snelson: Shit my trousers. Oct. 3rd 1987, Burger King, Ipswich, England.
IF YOU COULD ELECT A MUSICIAN AS PRESIDENT OF THE U.S. (OR LEADER OF YOUR
HOME COUNTRY),
WHO WOULD YOU CHOOSE?
Tim Snelson: Ricky Martin's good enough at singing and acting and prancing about, maybe
it's the next logical step. If not, Jordan out of Strung Out.
HAVE YOU EVER SHOPLIFTED? WHAT DID YOU TAKE AND WHY?
Tim Snelson: Christmas cards when I was 2. Reason: pretty pictures on 'em. I reckon Tom's nicked cider. Reason: to get pissed.
NAME A BOOK THAT MADE YOU CRY, AND TELL US WHY.
Tim Snelson: The Dictionary -- extremely sad ending.
WHICH IS MORE EXCITING WITH A MEMBER OF WHICHEVER SEX YOU "GO FOR": A CLOSE
GAME OF
TWISTER OR AN INTENSE GAME OF SCRABBLE?
Tim Snelson: Scrabble -- you can make obsene and suggestive phrases. Actually, that'd make a
good film, that. Probably.
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE FORM OF EXERCISE?
Tim Snelson: Waking up.
WHAT DID YOU DO FOR THE MILLENNIUM?
Tim Snelson: Got drunk and dressed up as Sherlock Holmes. Stu dressed up in a kilt, but he kept his kecks on underneath so no one saw his wilberforce.
NAME THREE
SITUATIONS THAT WOULD BE MUCH FUNNIER WITH THE ADDITION OF MONKEYS.
Tim Snelson: That film Carlito's Way, the fall of the Roman Empire and ice skating competitions.
IF YOU COULD ISSUE ONE ALBUM OR
ONE BOOK TO EVERYONE IN THE WORLD ON THEIR
THIRTEENTH BIRTHDAY, WHAT WOULD THE ALBUM/BOOK BE?
Tim Snelson: The Beatles' Sgt. Peppers... and George Orwell's 1984. That or something by the Spin Doctors.
WHERE WOULD YOU RATHER PLAY: A CLUB THAT GIVES YOU LOTS OF GREAT FREE FOOD
BUT HAS HORRIBLE
BATHROOMS, OR A CLUB THAT DOESN'T FEED YOU BUT HAS HOT SHOWERS AND BIG
FLUFFY TOWELS?
Tim Snelson: Definately nice toilets -- we're all obssessed with our bodily functions.
ARE YOU COMFORTABLE SHOPPING ONLINE? IF SO, WHAT DO YOU BUY?
Tim Snelson: No, I'll stick with car boot sales.
WHAT WAS THE WORST INVENTION OF THE 20TH CENTURY?
Tim Snelson: Laser guns that fire poisoned sick.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH KIDS TODAY ANYWAY?
Tim Snelson: They're too young -- that's their problem. A good war'd sort 'em out.
IS A FEMALE PRESIDENT THE ANSWER TO AMERICA'S PROBLEMS?
Tim Snelson: Give Christina Aguilera a crack at it.
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT CELLULAR PHONES? LIKE THEM? HATE THEM? GRUDGINGLY
APPRECIATE THEM? WHAT? WHAT, DAMMIT?!
Tim Snelson: I haven't got one, but they are quite handy, aren't they?
TELL US ABOUT YOUR PETS. IF YOU HAVE NO PETS, MAKE ONE UP.
Tim Snelson: A cat called Super Dude, but she moved to Tom's mum's when we came over to America. We miss the little Dickens.
NAME AN OBJECT YOU OWN THAT HAS LITTLE MONETARY VALUE, BUT THAT YOU WOULDN'T
SELL FOR A MILLION DOLLARS.
Tim Snelson: I would sell anything for a million dollars, including my organs.
WHAT'S HARDER: PLAYING SOLO FOR AN AUDIENCE OF 1000 FOR AN HOUR, OR GIVING
A 30-MINUTE SPEECH
TO THE SAME AUDIENCE?
Tim Snelson: Both can be seen in my one man show, which should be arriving on Broadway this Spring.
IF YOU HAD TO BE TRAPPED IN A TV SHOW FOR A MONTH, WHAT SHOW WOULD YOU
CHOOSE? AND WHY?
Tim Snelson: Little House on the Prarie. I'd burn that fucking house down.
WHAT IS THE FUNNIEST LOOKING ANIMAL?
Tim Snelson: The pidgeon.
IF YOU COULD HAVE THE "ORIGINAL" OF ANYTHING, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Tim Snelson: Napoleon's motorbike.
NAME A COMMERCIAL JINGLE THAT, FOR YOU, WAS CATCHIER THAN MOST POP SONGS.
Tim Snelson: Chicken tonite.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
Tim Snelson: FA Cup day, or Queen Mother's birthday.
WHAT IS THE MOST FASCINATING SMELL?
Tim Snelson: Baboon Shit.
IF YOU KNEW THAT BY NEVER LISTENING TO LOUD MUSIC AGAIN YOU'D ADD TEN YEARS
TO YOUR LIFE,
WOULD YOU DO IT?
Tim Snelson: Pardon?
WHAT KIND OF PERSON WEARS THONG UNDERWEAR?
Tim Snelson: Jordan out of Strung Out.
IF YOU
HAD TO GIVE UP ONE SENSE (SIGHT/SMELL/TOUCH/TASTE/HEARING), WHICH
ONE COULD
YOU MOST READILY DO WITHOUT?
Tim Snelson: I'd give 'em all up for a night out with Jordan out of Strung Out.
