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What was your favorite day job, and why? If you hated them all, what was the best (meaning most interesting) way you ever quit a job?
Mike Bulington: My favorite day job is one of my current jobs, my paper route for the Chicago Reader. Even though I have to get up way too early on Thursday, when I wake up I get to quote Pee Wee Herman from his Big Adventure movie to myself. (From the scene near the end when he gets his bike back:)
"I'll say. I'm gonna start a paper route RIGHT NOW!"
We've all heard variations on the phrase "there are two kinds of people in the world... Those who (do or think something) and those who (do or think something else)". What are the two kinds of people in the world for you?
Mike Bulington: Those who like raisins in stuff, i.e., baked goods, salads, et cetera, and those of us who find it simply wrong. Especially when they rehydrate and try to become a grape again. Nasty.
If money/ambition/significant others/et cetera were all non-issues, where would you choose to live and why?
Mike Bulington: If money/ambition/significant others/et cetera were all non-issues, I guess I would've already been put in a nursing home.
Summarize your driving ability in 25 words or less.
Mike Bulington: Workhorse. Driver always has veto power over what music is being played in the van. Will always stop for bathroom breaks and scenic overlooks.
You've just entered a contest in which the prize is an MP3 player loaded with the complete, exhaustive recorded output of any artist you choose. You win. Who do you choose?
Mike Bulington: I would choose to get everything that Charles Stepney ever produced.
What are you carrying on your person -- in your pockets, purse, et cetera -- right now?
Mike Bulington: In my bookbag/manpurse I have a bottle of Green Spot Irish Whiskey a friend of mine, who just returned from Ireland, gave me for an X-mas present today, my iPod w/headphones, JBL On Stage speakers for my iPod so I can listen to music at work without headphones after all of my co-workers have gone home. Oh yeah, I have two Grimble Grumble CDs, and last but not least, my wallet with $26 dollars in it. It's a brown wallet, but no props numbers or jimmyhats.
You're on tour, you're in an unfamiliar city, you haven't eaten in 24 hours, and due to some poor financial decisions, you have only a single unit of the local currency -- one dollar, one pound, or thereabouts. What do you eat?
Mike Bulington: I know this may not be a very punk rock 'n' roll answer, but I can't imagine myself being in a situation on tour where I only had a dollar to eat. I've got this financially responsible/practical side to me that would prevent this from happening.
What was the last song you danced to? Who, if anyone, did you dance with?
Mike Bulington: This past Sunday afternoon. I was re-filing my records and played this house 12" on Jack Street records that I bought for a quarter called "Body Fidelity" by Rog'e featuring Tanya Stevens. It was the Percussapella Mix, because the radio mix is truly awful. But the Percussapella Mix is where it's at. The mood was right. Anyone driving by my place and looking up could've seen me pop and/or lock or even possibly doing a high kick. I've been caught before. It was either that song or "Born to Roll" by Masta Ace.
When did you last make a mountain out of a molehill?
Mike Bulington: I'll let you pick any of the answers I gave to the other 24 Pointless Questions as an example.
You receive a series of e-mails stating that Grace Jones, Junior Brown, Missy Elliott, Ian MacKaye and Philip Glass are interested in a collaboration. How do you respond to each request?
Mike Bulington: The collaboration would be doomed from the get-go. Grace Jones: She'd get mad, because I'd probably get nervous and call her Nona Hendryx. Junior Brown: He'd feel totally awkward because he too would be another person who has confused me with the guitar player/singer from Cash Audio/Cash Money. Missy Elliott: I'd make her uncomfortable by quoting lines from her back catalog, like "Hit em Wit' da Hee", especially the Li'l Kim line "nightbox filled with Benjamins, me and my girl Missy, getting pissy up in Bennigans." Ian MacKaye: He would find this whole enterprise wry. Yeah, a bit too droll for his taste. Philip Glass: Is this the new "waiter" robot everyone's talking about? The one who makes sure everyone has plenty of ice water and/or any other soft drink of their choice?
Have you ever seen a ghost? Or a dead body? Tell us about it.
Mike Bulington: The first dead body I ever saw, besides at a funeral, was in Atlanta, GA in 1986. My brother, our friend Sean and I drive to Atlanta in November 1986 to see the final show of REM's Life's Rich Pageantry Tour at the Fox Theater. We arrive in Atlanta after having driven all day from Indiana. We don't know where to go and I'm driving. The trip is already somewhat stressful, my brother and Sean have been arguing about music, specifically the Flying Burrito Brothers. Sean couldn't stand them, which made my brother want to play them even more. I think we all agreed on Jerry Lee Lewis live at the Star Club in 1964. Anyway, I'm driving, we don't know where we're going, I get off at a random exit.
I didn't make a good choice. So we're going around the block to get back on the highway and as we make the second left, I look over and see a bloody dead body on the sidewalk with folks gathering around and the sound of sirens getting louder, and it totally freaked me out. I banged my hands on the steering wheel and yelled "I'm tired, We're lost, we don't know how to get to the REM show and I'VE JUST SEEN A DEAD MAN!"
What was the last book you read and hated? Why did you hate it?
Mike Bulington: I don't think I would ever finish a book I hated. I'd give up after a 100 pages... although I recently finished Journey to the End of the Night by Celine after having started it four or five times.
Let's assume that God is a DJ. What's on his playlist right now?
Mike Bulington: The Shangri-Las' "Remember (Walkin'in the Sand) just finished, The Birthday Party's "The Friend Catcher" is playing now, and will be followed by
The Checkmates' "Love is All I have to Give'. (the list goes on)
What is your favorite Meg Ryan movie?
Mike Bulington: Believe it or not, I don't have a favorite Meg Ryan movie. In fact the only one I know she was in is When Harry Met Sally. I too love the pastrami at Katz's.
What is your favorite "comfort food" when you're on tour?
Mike Bulington: Any place I can find in the Roadfood book by Jan and Michael Stern.
Tell us about the least likely place you ever sent a CD/demo. Why did you send it? What happened?
Mike Bulington: My practical side forced me to only send CDs to "most likely" places.
What essential item are you most likely to leave at home when you're heading out on tour? What do you do about it?
Mike Bulington: We'd be lost without our fog machine. We flew out to LA in August to play a couple of shows and couldn't bring the fog machine with us (too messy), so we bought one when we got there. We now have a fog machine in Chicago and LA. We played with this band 8-bit, and you simply must see them if they come to your town. It's like old school b-boy pass-the-mic style rap mixed with the Three Stooges in robot get-ups.
Aliens have just landed, and you get to select the earth's goodwill ambassador. Who do you pick, and why?
Mike Bulington: I'd select George W. Bush, because do we really want these aliens to stick around?
You wake up one morning and discover that you have dolphin telepathy. What do you do with it?
Mike Bulington: I'd honestly be more interested in knowing how I discovered I had this dolphin telepathy. Would I be watching SuperFriends, Aquaman would go underwater, need some "help" from his band of deep sea friends, the onomatopoeia would emanate from his forehead, but to me it would no longer be onomatopoeia -- rather, I would understand him and Aquaman would have just said a dirty limerick that involves a lamprey? It that how it would happen?
What wouldn't Jesus do?
Mike Bulington: Jesus would never ever say a dirty limerick, especially one that involves a lamprey. Shame on you, Aquaman!
What is the most awkward moment in which you have caught a person adjusting, scratching, or otherwise handling his or her own genitals?
Mike Bulington: When I was in grade school, there was a rumor that the junior high chorus teacher played "pocket pool" and I was so naive I assumed people meant he had some new handheld Mattel game that wasn't even in the JC Penney Christmas Catalog or the Sears Wishbook. It was also said that he would put his thumb and forefinger into his nostrils at the same time and then smear boogers into his moustache. I moved to another school before junior high.
You're sitting in a pub when an errant dart from the games area strikes you in the leg. With the dart pointing out of your body, do you pull it out, shout for help or attack the jackass who hit you?
Mike Bulington: This is one of those situations that you could answer honestly only if it were to happen to you. But who wouldn't love to pull it out, attack the jackass and make said jackass shout for help.
Which non-music related product (i.e. No instruments, microphones, etc;) would you most like to be a celebrity spokesperson for?
Mike Bulington: Fernet-Branca.
Describe the skankiest, sketchiest place -- whether it's someone's home or a hotel/motel room -- that you've stayed in while on tour.
Mike Bulington: This goes back to the Atlanta/REM/Dead Man story. After we found the Fox Theater, we got a hotel in the vicinity. I don't remember the name, but it had somewhere for us to lie down. I was so glad to be able to get out of the car and lay down. Well I got in our room, claimed my spot on the bed, jumped on the bed face first and half burying my face in the pillow.
This pillow smelled like someone had worked for 12 hours in the hot sun, came straight to this hotel room while still dripping with sweat, laid down on my side of the bed and slept with this pillow tucked firmly in their armpit. At least it was no longer damp. The REM show was amazing.
If you had an army of super-intelligent lab mice to do your bidding, what evil deeds would you have them do?
Mike Bulington: I'd have them do all future interviews I get asked to do and they would actually get them done on time.
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Mike Bulington plays drums for Grimble Grumble and Mr. Rudy Day.
Chicago-based Grimble Grumble is Christine Garcia on bass and vocals, Josh Hudson on guitar, Mike Bulington on drums and percussion, and Saleem Dhamee on guitar.
They are indeed named after the gnome in a Pink Floyd song. They have toured with Windy & Carl, and also played the Terrastock Festival. An attendee there described Grimble Grumble as "one of the unexpected highlights of the festival. this is a band to watch. beautiful, dense, swirling guitar noise that brought Slowdive, FSA and Meddle-era Pink Floyd to mind, grounded by a solid rhythm section, and just the right combination of chaos and melody for my taste."
-- George Zahora
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