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The Gunshy's Matt Arbogast returns for a final set of POINTLESS QUESTIONS

Matt Arbogast

Read Splendid's review of Souls, visit or buy Gunshy stuff at Insound.

Various religions suggest that there's a "special" hell for certain sins (hurting children, being cruel to animals, using the word "blog" as a verb, etc). Who else needs a "special" hell?

Matt Arbogast: Owners of Hummers.

Due to poor financial planning, you've got to eat for an entire week on only US$10. What do you buy, food-wise?

Matt Arbogast: Sounds familiar... That goes a long way at Aldi. Four boxes of mac and cheese = $1.00. Four canisters of frozen biscuits = $1.00. Bag of tortilla chips and can of salsa = $3.50. Three loaves of bread (I like bread) = $2.50. Eight frozen burritos = $2.00. That's my week.

What's the biggest misconception that people have about you?

Matt Arbogast: That I wish I was Tom Waits.

What's the worst injury you've ever suffered for your art (i.e. second degree burns from shorted-out mic, broken leg from failed stage dive)? Tell us about it.

Matt Arbogast: There've been many shocks from mics and amps and things like that, but most often the worst injuries are to my fingers. My left-hand index finger is actually somewhat deformed now from playing guitar so hard without a pick.

You've locked your car keys inside the tour van and don't have AAA. How do you get the door open?

Matt Arbogast: I've done this so often I've both invested in AAA and begun hiding keys in different places so I can get in.

Ever find useful stuff in the garbage? Describe your best-ever dumpster find and how you used it.

Matt Arbogast: Once on tour in Florida we found a year's supply of Playboy in the Florida State University dumpsters. That was pretty useful three weeks into tour...

In the UK, trying to kill the Queen is still technically a capital offence. If the Queen tried to commit suicide and failed, could she be sentenced to death? Explain.

Matt Arbogast: Sure, but then you'd have to kill the man who gave her the lethal injection or whatever they do for capital punishment. He would have killed the Queen.

If you were a 50ft high Tyrannosaurus Rex, would you use your powers for good or evil? Who would you go after first?

Matt Arbogast: Good. I would go to the Middle East and have them all waste their bullets on me.

What's your favorite board game? Why do you like it?

Matt Arbogast: Drunk Jenga.

Everyone likes at least one cheesy/crappy song that totally kills their cred. What's yours?

Matt Arbogast: Probably that Garth Brooks "I got friends in low places / where the whiskey drowns and the beer chases / my blues away / and I'll be okay / I'm not big on social graces / think I'll slip on down to the OASIS / 'cause I got friends in looow places..." song. It's a damn good drinking song.

The standard touring vehicle is always a beat-up van. What has been the worst/weirdest method of conveyance you've had to use on a tour?

Matt Arbogast: I usually tour in a car by myself. It's not weird, but it can be shitty to sleep in.

Will it ever truly be possible to "rock the vote", or will apathy, indifference and laziness always triumph over activism?

Matt Arbogast: I'm beginning to think that it may triumph in American culture, but as long as there are folks who give a fuck we're not done yet.

You want to cry? I'll give you something to cry about. What would you like to cry about?

Matt Arbogast: People getting killed for oil.

How long after an unopened gallon of milk's "use-by" date has passed would you be willing to use it?

Matt Arbogast: Until it stinks. That's the rule, right? When it starts to smell strange it'll probably taste strange and make you feel strange.

What is the most unusual item you've thrown up on/in?

Matt Arbogast: I don't know, but I peed on myself the other morning. I hadn't had coffee yet.

Do you prefer the term "underwear" or "underpants"? What does that say about you?

Matt Arbogast: Wear. It says that I don't like to wear two pairs of pants... maybe?

What basic freedoms are you prepared to give up in exchange for your and your family's safety?

Matt Arbogast: I'd rather not have someone else tell me how to be safe. If it should ever get to that point, I'll move my family to a deserted island and live off coconuts and fresh fish.

Due to a breakthrough in technology, it's possible to learn any skill, no matter how complex, pretty much instantly, by uploading the information directly into your brain (yes, like in The Matrix). Unfortunately, you can only do it once. What skill would you learn, and why?

Matt Arbogast: The skill of making peace. That probably sounds corny as fuck, but I think we could use it. If not, I'd like to learn how to play guitar, or knit.

Not to be morbid, but let's assume that (a) you've died, and (b) you filled out an organ donor card and potential recipients are lining up. Which part of your body do you think will be most sought-after? Are there any bits no-one will want?

Matt Arbogast: My beard would probably be most sought after and my liver the least.

There are literally hundreds of euphemisms for masturbation. What's the best one you've heard?

Matt Arbogast: Blow your own horn.

A few years ago, anal sex was still taboo; nowadays it's trendy. What will be the next major sexual taboo to fall?

Matt Arbogast: Anal sex is trendy??? Really?!?

Right this very second, what are you most looking forward to, and why?

Matt Arbogast: Drinking more egg nog.

· · · · · · ·

The Gunshy's brand-spankin'-new, critically acclaimed album, Souls, was released on December 6th. December is a tough time for new records, so you need to make a little extra effort to track this one down. It's worth the effort.

-- George Zahora

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