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What band did you listen to most during the eighties? Do you still like them?
Adam Lohrbach: I listened to mostly wussy keyboard-rock, like Depeche Mode and Pet Shop
Boys, Lightning Seeds, stuff like that. And to this day, they still rock
the house.
What is your worst memory of elementary school? Of high school?
Adam Lohrbach: In elementary school (third grade) I played the lead role -- Rudolph the Red
Nosed Reindeer -- in a school play. I remember making grunting noises like I
was trying to pull the sleigh where no one could see me. After grunting for
ten seconds, I noticed a family videotaping me the whole time. I got really
embarrassed and forgot my next few lines when I popped up. And when a
seagull shat on my new jacket in Jr High in front of all the cool kids, that wasn't
too fun either...
You're about to -- ahem -- get lucky. What album is playing in the background? Why'd you choose it?
Adam Lohrbach: Any mellow drums and bass, trip-hop, stuff with a good beat and dynamics, so
you can kinda follow the mood of the music. Sexual olympics if you will...
What was the first thing you ever shoplifted? Why did you take it?
Adam Lohrbach: The first and last time I ever shoplifted was a small box of Legos from
Sears. Just as I got out the front door two very large men grabbed my
shoulders and escorted me to the "holding chambers". The worst part is I
was 15 when I stole the Legos.
If you could beat up anyone in the world and get away without the usual annoying real-world consequences -- jail time, lawsuits, bad press, etc. -- who would it be, and why?
Adam Lohrbach: One of our merch guys named Marty. If I could kick his ass, I could kick
anyone's ass.
What's the biggest risk you've ever taken? Why did you take it?
Adam Lohrbach: I suppose it's not a huge risk but it's all I can think of at the moment:
I once jumped off a cliff into a lake in Canada, without checking the
depth. Suppose I could've died. That's not really a risk, that's just plain stupid.
It's better to regret something you have done than it is to regret something you haven't done. What do you regret doing (other than agreeing to answer these questions)? Why did you do it?
Adam Lohrbach: I regret nothing, I have made no mistakes in life. I am flawless....kind of.
Did you go to your high school prom? If so, who did you go with?
Adam Lohrbach: I honestly can't remember...too many drugs, I guess. Sad, huh?
What movie would you recommend to absolutely anyone? Why?
Adam Lohrbach: The Best Of Chris Farley... If that doesn't make you laugh, go kill yourself.
For reasons we won't bother going into right now, you're going to be locked in the back of a truck for a sixteen hour drive between gigs. If you could have any musician, past or present, back there to keep you company, who would it be?
Adam Lohrbach: Well, it wouldn't be Elvis, cuz there wouldn't be any room left for me, now,
would there?
What is your strongest, most unshakeable belief?
Adam Lohrbach: My belief in God, although it's shaky at times...hmm... Doesn't make much sense, does it?
What's the worst band you've ever heard? Why do they suck?
Adam Lohrbach: I'm not mean enough to answer this question. Sorry.
If you were a porn star, what would your "porn name" be?
Adam Lohrbach: Hul Kogan the Long Strong Bigger than a ping pong Johnson.
You're on your way to a show, and all of a sudden you find yourself in the middle of a huge four-way battle between pirates, ninjas, robots and intelligent apes from the future. Your only hope of getting to your gig is to pick a side. Who do you join, and why?
Adam Lohrbach: Too easy, the pirates. Pirates just plain kick ass. Ninjas are lame,
robots are...well...just robots, and even intelligent apes from the future wouldn't
be as smart as a good ol' pirate. Aaarrrrrr, matey!
If you could sponsor any beverage -- appear in their ads, receive a lifetime supply and never be seen drinking a competing product -- what beverage would it be?
Adam Lohrbach: Pabst Blue Ribbon. Paps me ASAP! (rings Paps bell) Editor's Note: Is he talking about Pabst Blue Ribbon? We have no fucking idea.
What's the best venue you've ever played? What's the worst? Why?
Adam Lohrbach: Every venue has its pluses and minuses, and I love them all. However, I can
take this one step further. The worst state we've ever played and hope to
never play again is South Carolina.
What's wrong with Rolling Stone these days?
Adam Lohrbach: I don't read, sorry. I can't spell wel eether.
Why are frogs amusing?
Adam Lohrbach: This question is ribit-culous...hahaha... Ahem. Sorry.
You've traveled back in time and met yourself, age sixteen. What do you think?
Adam Lohrbach: "This guy's mom should stop dressing him... and that hair. Get out of the
eighties, kid, quick!"
Which would be worse: three hours on a bus full of four year-olds, or three hours on a bus full of eighty year-olds? Why?
Adam Lohrbach: Eighty year-olds, cuz I know I
could scare the four year-olds into a corner of the bus so I could have some
peace and quiet.
The US government is considering far more aggressive regulation of leather pants. Under the new rules, who should or shouldn't be allowed to wear them?
Adam Lohrbach: The singer of Creed would be officially banned from leather pants. That would happen immediately. However, my package looks great in some tight white leather pants, FYI.
What, in your opinion, is the best porn?
Adam Lohrbach: The kind with naked girls in 'em. I like those ones best.
What food item could you eat every day for the rest of your life without getting bored of it? What's so good about it?
Adam Lohrbach: Chicken Pad Thai...any peanut buttery food is the bombay!
Will the next Star Wars movie suck? Why or why not?
Adam Lohrbach: Of course not, cuz I love them all.
How many roads must a man walk down before they call him a man?
Adam Lohrbach: Ro-adds...Roo-Adds. Heh.
Everyone's replacing their least-favorite body parts with cybernetic replacements. Which part(s) of your body would you replace?
Adam Lohrbach: My knees -- they look like lizard knees.
What topics or statements would inspire you to call in to a talk radio program?
Adam Lohrbach: Anything scientific. Can I be any more general?
What album(s) should everyone be given on their eighteenth birthday?
Adam Lohrbach: Michael Jackson's Thriller.
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Home Grown released Kings of Pop, their third full-length overall and first for Drive Thru, last year. We didn't get a review copy so it's hard for us to muster a whole lot of concern about it.
-- George Zahora
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