Jeff: I would eat pizza. I'm allergic to milk products, and I really miss it! Particularly pizza piled up with all kinds of good veggies and jalapeño peppers!
Tina: I would have a feast of blackberries and raspberries! Where we live, it is so hard to get either and when you do see them in the grocery store, they cost $4.99 for a half-pint and then they ar either small or globbed together with fungus! Ugh!

WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH ALL THIS GANGSTA RAP?

Jeff: Advertising and marketing. If major labels didn't want it to sell, they wouldn't try so hard to make us like it.
Tina: Ditto.

HOW OLD WERE YOU THE FIRST TIME YOU USED THE PHRASE "BACK WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE..."?

Jeff: Huhm, I think I've been using that phrase since I was a little kid -- I've always wanted to seem older than I really am. I tend to say it a lot now when I encounter younger indie kids.
Tina: I've been saying that to my younger brother since I was about 10.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT BRUSSELS SPROUTS

Jeff: To be honest, I've never had Brussels Sprouts so I don't have an opinion.
Tina: I think they're pretty.

NAME THREE PEOPLE YOU REALLY ADMIRE.

Jeff: Ralph Nadir, Harlan Ellison and Jenny Toomey.
Tina: That's a tough one. My grandmother. A friend of mine's mother who works in animal rescue and houses like 25 dogs and cats at a time while finding them new homes (I can't remember her name!). And I guess anyone who speaks their mind, even when their opinion might not be popular. Harlan Ellison? He is a such a jerk! What is Jeff thinking?

IF YOU COULD LIVE AT ANY POINT IN THE PAST, WHEN AND WHERE WOULD YOU LIVE?

Jeff: Probably late 1960's in the U.S. Political action seemed more than posturing then, John Cassavetes, Francois Truffaut, and Nick Drake were all still alive and making their best work. And science fiction's greatest achievements occurred over that period of time, particularly in the realm of short fiction.
Tina: Maybe the 60's in Vermont... I would have liked to have gone to a girl's college in the 60's in Vermont and visited Shirly Jackson. I don't know, it is hard to get over that fact that no time in the past was wonderful for females. If I was a boy, then prolly just about any period and place would be jolly good.

WHAT MEDIUM REPRESENTS THE GREATEST PROPORTION OF YOUR CULTURAL "LANDMARKS" -- TV, MUSIC, FILM, ART, ETC?

Jeff: Probably film, as it's a synthesis of all the things I love -- music, story, images. Few works of art move me as much as a good film, or leave as lasting an impact.
Tina: Movies. No doubt about that. Above all else, I think that films teach you to think critically.

WHAT WAS THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT?

Jeff: The Mountain Goats, Bitter Melon Farm compilation.
Tina: The Hang-ups... I can't remember the title.

HAVE YOU EVER OWNED A PAIR OF PLAID PANTS?

Jeff: There are pictures of a five year old me in plaid pants. I don't remember them, but the proof exists so I must say "yes." Tina still owns lots of plaid pants!
Tina: I do not! Maybe pajamas! I did have a rad pair of plaid pants in the 8th grade.They were Bugle Boy brand. Remember those?

DEFINE THE PHRASE "JANGLY GUITAR POP".

Jeff: Huhm...this one's nearly impossible to answer! I'd have to say bright, spirited guitar music that makes you glad you're alive to hear it.
Tina: The Boyish Charms.

NAME A MUSICIAN OR GENRE WHOSE POPULARITY YOU JUST DON'T GET.

Jeff: This is more of a vague answer, but I would say any of the immensely popular music over the years (be it rap, rock, country, etc.) that glorifies violence and misogyny. Hip hop is king in that regard nowadays, but ten years ago it was heavy metal.
Tina: Oh my! That would be Mariah Carey! I think men should just watch porn or something instead. The singing for her is such an afterthought...it's not what she's selling.

WHAT FRIGHTENS YOU?

Jeff: Becoming a real adult. Abandoning all my loves and passions for children and a dedication to work. I have so many friends from high school who live meaningless lives shackled to bad jobs and kids they need to take care of -- I don't particularly want that to happen to me.
Tina: Oh lots of things... women who wear heels (you can never trust anyone who doesn't wair sneakers), organized religion, people who are overly nice.

WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY WHEN YOU WERE GROWING UP?

Jeff: Without a doubt, Optimus Prime -- leader of the Autobots.
Tina: Atari!

WHAT ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING? IF NOTHING, WHAT WAS THE LAST GOOD BOOK YOU READ?

Jeff: I'm currently in the midst of a Science Fiction anthology collecting the best stories to win the SFWA's "Nebula Award", sort of the best of the best. It includes some of my favorite stories by George R.R. Martin and Harlan Ellison.
Tina: "Naked" by David Sedaris. He is the funniest person alive.

ARE YOU MORE LIKE R2-D2 or C-3PO?

Jeff: C3PO most definitely. I'm definitely a worrier, and C3PO is the greatest worrier in the history of popular film! Besides Woody Allen, that is. Obsessive compulsive droids are definitely cool.
Tina: R2-D2 because I'm short and reliable.

WHO WOULD WIN IN A FIGHT -- TOM BAKER OR PATRICK STEWART?

Jeff: Oh, definitely Tom Baker. Patrick Stewart is such the stuffed shirt -- he might be able to negotiate a trade agreement between two alien cultures (yawn), or determine the cause of yet another spatial anomaly (double yawn), but he could never stand up to the Master, the Daleks, the Cybermen, the Sontarans, Haemovores, or any of the other aliens Baker took down with just a sonic screwdriver and his wits. Baker would easily confuse the straight-thinking Stewart with a riddle and entangle him up in his scarf. Of course, he wouldn't resort to fisticuffs - the Doctor is well above such barbarity.
Tina: I agree with Jeff, Tom Baker would win! Even though in the most recent movies, they have tried to make Captian Picard all buff in his sleeveless battle shirts or whatever, I don't buy it. The fight I'd love to see would be between DS9's Captain Sisko and Farscape's John Crichton.

Not only are Jeff Barrus and Tina Henry-Barrus responsible for the sublime Restaurant Fuel zine -- they also run Hub City Records, home of Winterbrief, the Boyish Charms and the Maulies, among others. As if those aren't sufficient reasons to like them, Tina and Jeff have also provided some of the all-time best answers to our Pointless Questions.