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Editor's Note: Marco and Alessio answered the questions together. We have no idea who did which, or if they had a lengthy discussion about each question and arrived at a consensus, so we're just crediting all replies to Jennifer Gentle.
Various religions suggest that there's a "special" hell for certain sins (hurting children, being cruel to animals, using the word "blog" as a verb, etc). Who else needs a "special" hell?
Jennifer Gentle: Just like Curtis Mayfield sings, if there's a hell below we will meet us all down there.
Due to poor financial planning, you've got to eat for an entire week on only US$10. What do you buy, food-wise?
Jennifer Gentle: Pizza slices. We can't get enough of it.
What's the biggest misconception that people have about you?
Jennifer Gentle: People thinking that we're weird: actually, we're the most boring guys on
Earth.
What's the worst injury you've ever suffered for your art (i.e. second degree burns from shorted-out mic, broken leg from failed stage dive)? Tell us about it.
Jennifer Gentle: Can't remember. Probably some finger crushed under an amplifier.
You've locked your car keys inside the tour van and don't have AAA. How do you get the door open?
Jennifer Gentle: What's AAA?
Ever find useful stuff in the garbage? Describe your best-ever dumpster find and how you used it.
Jennifer Gentle: When I was a kid, one of my neighbors threw away a lot of LPs -- among them
there were albums from Popol Vuh and John Coltrane. I became a music fan.
In the UK, trying to kill the Queen is still technically a capital offence. If the Queen tried to commit suicide and failed, could she be sentenced to death? Explain.
Jennifer Gentle: I thought she died a couple of years ago... Anyway, we would like to have a
Queen and laugh at her hats.
If you were a 50ft high Tyrannosaurus Rex, would you use your powers for good or evil? Who would you go after first?
Jennifer Gentle: Obviously we would be evil. Stomping to death some music critics would be
one of the first thoughts.
You've decided to write a musical. What's it about and who's the star?
Jennifer Gentle: It is a big story about a secret Pagan cult plotting to conquer the world
and destroy Christianity. We'd like to have Bill Murray as the Pope: is he a good singer?
What's your favorite board game? Why do you like it?
Jennifer Gentle: We hate board games.
Everyone likes at least one cheesy/crappy song that totally kills their cred. What's yours?
Jennifer Gentle: Probably something from Elton John. Marco likes a Justin Timberlake song and Alessio is a big fan of Adriano Celentano, Italian premier rocker and Elvis soundalike.
The standard touring vehicle is always a beat-up van. What has been the worst/weirdest method of conveyance you've had to use on a tour?
Jennifer Gentle: We don't own a van; we use our cars with a funny looking carriage. We look
more like German tourists going South than a rock band.
What was the best meal you were supplied by a tour venue? What was the worst?
Jennifer Gentle: We can't complain, we didn't have particularly bad experiences -- but
honestly we have some fears about what we'll eat in our forthcoming US tour.
Will it ever truly be possible to "rock the vote", or will apathy, indifference and laziness always triumph over activism?
Jennifer Gentle: Are you sure you want rock musicians to save the world?
You discover a new disease, "(Your name here)'s Syndrome". What are its symptoms? What is the cure for "(Your name here)'s Syndrome"?
Jennifer Gentle: It would be a venereal disease. No cure, only a slow death caused by ever-increasing pleasure waves.
You want to cry? I'll give you something to cry about. What would you like to cry about?
Jennifer Gentle: The current state of the Italian soccer team: it is a never-ending downhill
and more humiliating defeats are just around the corner...
If you could watch one historical event re-enacted by a cast of chimpanzees, which one would it be, and why?
Jennifer Gentle: The War of the Roses. Orson Welles would have done a great movie out of it.
Just like Shakespeare, but with monkeys -- think only about Richard of
Gloucester as a malevolent chimpanzee. No great British actor could be
better.
What is the coolest tattoo you've ever seen (and don't choose one of your own)?
Jennifer Gentle: Surely something we saw on the arms of Ray Cappo -- master of the
krishna-core, whatever this means. He looked like a character from some Ray
Bradbury novel and he was a muscle man too.
How long after an unopened gallon of milk's "use-by" date has passed would you be willing to use it?
Jennifer Gentle: A week. It stinks a bit but you can still use it.
Do you prefer the term "underwear" or "underpants"? What does that say about you?
Jennifer Gentle: Underpants: it sounds funnier to these Italian ears.
You've been asked to submit an anecdote or "tip" to a book called Everything I Need to Know About Life I Learned On Tour With My Band. What do you tell them?
Jennifer Gentle: Do not eat peperonata before going on stage. It gives you horrible heartburns.
What basic freedoms are you prepared to give up in exchange for your and your family's safety?
Jennifer Gentle: Nothing: basic freedoms are just like that. Basic.
Due to a breakthrough in technology, it's possible to learn any skill, no matter how complex, pretty much instantly, by uploading the information directly into your brain (yes, like in The Matrix). Unfortunately, you can only do it once. What skill would you learn, and why?
Jennifer Gentle: I would like to read any book in less than five minutes.
Not to be morbid, but let's assume that (a) you've died, and (b) you filled out an organ donor card and potential recipients are lining up. Which part of your body do you think will be most sought-after? Are there any bits no-one will want?
Jennifer Gentle: This is too easy... so we won't really answer -- but I'm sure very few people
would be interested in our brains.
A long-lost possession has turned up on Ebay, and you're prepared to pay much more than it's worth just to finally get it back. What is it? Why is it worth so much to you?
Jennifer Gentle: Our manager's hair. It would be a fantastic gift for his birthday.
You've been given the resources and financial backing to create a new satellite TV network that caters specifically to your tastes and the tastes of people like you. What's it called, and what does it show?
Jennifer Gentle: It is called "Zombiefied" and it shows only bad sci-fi and horror movies.
There are literally hundreds of euphemisms for masturbation. What's the best one you've heard?
Jennifer Gentle: Ravanarselo -- sorry, it can't be translated!
Which is worse: downloading an album and burning copies for five friends, or shoplifting one physical copy of the same CD from an overpriced national retailer? Explain your answer.
Jennifer Gentle: Shoplifting is worse. Our mums would be really upset if someone would tell them
about our sordid past as little thieves.
What, in your opinion, is the best book ever written? And why?
Jennifer Gentle: Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov. Or E.A. Poe's short novels.
Right this very second, what are you most looking forward to, and why?
Jennifer Gentle: Our American tour, that'll start soon after SXSW in Austin. We're very
excited about it; it will be our first real tour and everything will be
fantastic, even if the concerts will be a debacle, the van will break after
the second gig and one of us will die while on the road.
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From the band's bio on the Sub Pop website:
Hailing from Padova, Italy, Jennifer Gentle is not a girl. Jennifer Gentle is, in fact, a band made up of singer/guitarist Marco Fasolo and drummer Alessio Gastaldello (joined by various accomplices when they play live). Valende is their third full-length, and first for Sub Pop (their first two albums, I Am You Are and Funny Creatures Lane, were released individually on Italy's Sillyboy Entertainment, and together as a double CD under the name Ectoplasmic Garden Party by Australia's Lexicon Devil label). The record was, like its predecessors, home-recorded by Marco and Alessio, and it's a psych pop charmer, drawing on the band's own brand of musical dementia: an almost-impossible-to-describe melting pot of whacked experimentation, deep fried eccentricity and acoustic beauty, drawing judiciously on the band's long-term fascination with Syd Barrett, 13th Floor Elevators, and Joe Meek production techniques. Jennifer Gentle is also the first Italian band Sub Pop has ever signed (such is our deep affection for the band). But again, Jennifer Gentle is not a girl.
-- George Zahora
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