|
Due to poor financial planning, you've got to eat for an entire week on only US$10. What do you buy, food-wise?
Eric Schlitter: Lots and lots of ramen noodles.
What's the biggest misconception that people have about you?
Eric Schlitter: That we're all a bunch of 8-bit Nintendo freaks. Granted, we love that stuff, but we're probably bigger music nerds than video game ones.
What's the worst injury you've ever suffered for your art (i.e. second degree burns from shorted-out mic, broken leg from failed stage dive)? Tell us about it.
Eric Schlitter: In my old band, Suetta, I almost electrocuted myself. We did not realize at the time that a swimming pool and electrical equipment do not mix! I'm lucky to be here!
You've locked your car keys inside the tour van and don't have AAA. How do you get the door open?
Eric Schlitter: I'd probably try a wire coat hanger unless it has power locks. At that point, I would say you're probably shit out of luck.
Ever find useful stuff in the garbage? Describe your best-ever dumpster find and how you used it.
Eric Schlitter: I once found a really awesome old chord organ that worked relatively well, until someone threw it a few feet. I also found a lamp that was very patriotic and even featured a carving of the US Constitution.
In the UK, trying to kill the Queen is still technically a capital offence. If the Queen tried to commit suicide and failed, could she be sentenced to death? Explain.
Eric Schlitter: Wow, well, you are really opening a can of worms here. I would say the point of the law is to protect the Queen because she is a national symbol. So I would think they wouldn't sentence her to death. Plus if they decided to wouldn't the executioner have to be executed following the Queen's execution? Hmmm...
If you were a 50ft high Tyrannosaurus Rex, would you use your powers for good or evil? Who would you go after first?
Eric Schlitter: I would try to use them for good, but I'm not sure exactly how I would do that.
You've decided to write a musical. What's it about and who's the star?
Eric Schlitter: Our bass player Ted suggested once that Pulp's Different Class would sound great as a musical and I must say that I concur. That album seems ready made for the stage. As far as who it could star, I don't know -- we'll have to get some auditions going. Maybe Jarvis can play himself. I don't think he's up to much lately.
What's your favorite board game? Why do you like it?
Eric Schlitter: I always liked Battleship. Lots of strategy. Operation if a lot of fun too.
Everyone likes at least one cheesy/crappy song that totally kills their cred. What's yours?
Eric Schlitter: I sometimes like songs that are considered top 40. Sometimes I think they're really good, so I guess it depends on your definition of crappy. I dug the Yin Yang Twins' last single, R.Kelly's "Trapped In The Closet" and Kanye West's single with Jamie Foxx. I do have a soft spot for Sheryl Crow's "Soak Up The Sun", that's pretty cheesy. I also really liked that Britney Spears's "Toxic" single, when it was new.
The standard touring vehicle is always a beat-up van. What has been the worst/weirdest method of conveyance you've had to use on a tour?
Eric Schlitter: Kid Icarus doesn't really tour as of yet, but I used to drive an ugly brown '80 Dodge Diplomat. It was great!
What was the best meal you were supplied by a tour venue? What was the worst?
Eric Schlitter: No one ever feeds the poor souls in Kid Icarus when we play a show. Maybe some day we'll be huge stars with riders, bottled water and vegetable/cheese trays. For the time being it's a few bucks and a slap on the back.
Will it ever truly be possible to "rock the vote", or will apathy, indifference and laziness always triumph over activism?
Eric Schlitter: Probably the latter. Rock 'n' roll and politics just don't mix, in my opinion. I don't think that there's anything wrong with musicians being political but rock 'n' roll is about an experience and an escape. Politics is just a lot of frustration. Plus I've always wanted music to take me to a different place. Politics makes us focus on what's wrong with the country, world, etc. It can be a real bummer. Especially considering the state of the country right now.
You discover a new disease, "(Your name here)'s Syndrome". What are its symptoms? What is the cure for "(Your name here)'s Syndrome"?
Eric Schlitter: Schlittler's Syndrome. You feel the need to listen to impossibly obscuro singer/songwriters and dig thru dusty forgotten bins of vinyl.
The cure: a good record/musical discovery you've never heard before!
You want to cry? I'll give you something to cry about. What would you like to cry about?
Eric Schlitter: I don't think we have to go very far for this one -- just look at what's happening down south.
If you could watch one historical event re-enacted by a cast of chimpanzees, which one would it be, and why?
Eric Schlitter: The Moon Landing. Wouldn't that just be great? I want mission control full of chimps!
What is the coolest tattoo you've ever seen (and don't choose one of your own)?
Eric Schlitter: I can't think of any cool tattoos I've seen ever. Mostly just crazy looking naked ladies and Jesus.
How long after an unopened gallon of milk's "use-by" date has passed would you be willing to use it?
Eric Schlitter: Spoiled milk is awful. I'm cautious, I'd say a day after, max.
What is the most unusual item you've thrown up on/in?
Eric Schlitter: When I'm sick, I tend to hit the target (i.e. toilet bowl, garbage can, etc.). No amusing anecdotes here, sorry.
Do you prefer the term "underwear" or "underpants"? What does that say about you?
Eric Schlitter: I'm an underwear man. I guess it means I'm a more proper type of guy. Nothing wrong with the term underpants -- it just seems like it's more for kids or something.
You've been asked to submit an anecdote or "tip" to a book called Everything I Need to Know About Life I Learned On Tour With My Band. What do you tell them?
Eric Schlitter: Not much, cause we haven't really toured yet. I'll get back to you.
What basic freedoms are you prepared to give up in exchange for your and your family's safety?
Eric Schlitter: Tough one. I would draw the line at anything involving going through personal property/records unless there's some reasonable cause for search and seizure. It's a tricky question; obviously you want the bad guys stopped. At the same time, everyone has a right to be private.
Due to a breakthrough in technology, it's possible to learn any skill, no matter how complex, pretty much instantly, by uploading the information directly into your brain (yes, like in The Matrix). Unfortunately, you can only do it once. What skill would you learn, and why?
Eric Schlitter: How to build a time machine. Maybe I'm bending the rules a bit but wouldn't that be something?
Not to be morbid, but let's assume that (a) you've died, and (b) you filled out an organ donor card and potential recipients are lining up. Which part of your body do you think will be most sought-after? Are there any bits no-one will want?
Eric Schlitter: Probably my kidneys would be pretty valued. My liver might get thrown back.
Which is worse: downloading an album and burning copies for five friends, or shoplifting one physical copy of the same CD from an overpriced national retailer? Explain your answer.
Eric Schlitter: Both are stealing unless the artist doesn't care if folks download his stuff for free. The guy who burns five copies for his friends is doing the artist an indirect service in helping make folks more aware of the band he stole from. Maybe those five kids might go see one of their shows, buy a T-shirt, or a CD. So bottom line, both are wrong, but one might be helping the folks he stole from a little more.
A few years ago, anal sex was still taboo; nowadays it's trendy. What will be the next major sexual taboo to fall?
Eric Schlitter: Gosh, what's left at this point. I guess we can see a big polygamy boom or something like that. Maybe there will be this big backlash and there will be this big second Victorian era.
What, in your opinion, is the best book ever written? And why?
Eric Schlitter: 1984 by George Orwell is a book that has really stuck with me throughout the years. I don't think it's the best book ever written, just a favorite. I'm not really qualified to answer that question. I will leave that argument to a more literary-minded crowd. Something about that book really stayed with me, though. I also really love Phillip K. Dick but I don't think he's technically that great of a writer -- it's more the ideas presented and how he twists that knife in your mind and flips the world upside down in his stories. I also love Kafka, his stuff is great, yet very hard to take. So much darkness in his stuff.
The USA needs a universal healthcare system. So far, no President has gotten anywhere near implementing one. Why do you think they keep failing? (Bonus: Outline your own plan for universal healthcare in 100 words or less.)
Eric Schlitter: It's all money. Rich people don't want to re-vamp the health care system because they are reaping billions out of the current system.
Right this very second, what are you most looking forward to, and why?
Eric Schlitter: Going back into the studio and recording new songs with Kid Icarus, because I want to continue rockin' for as long as I can.
· · · · · · ·
Kid Icarus's new album, The Metal West, hit the street about a month ago. They're currently lining up gigs, and may even tour. You should go see them if they do.
-- George Zahora
| 
