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Right now, with no advance notice, and for reasons we're not going to bother explaining, you must get rid of one album from your record collection. Which title gets the chop?
Stéphane Plante: The Fiends.
You wake up one morning and discover that you've grown two feet taller overnight. How does it affect your life?
Stéphane Plante: I'll be sexier.
What three things must a town or city have in order for you to be able to live happily there?
Stéphane Plante: It should be close to the country... Club stay open late at night...and a place where it's easy to get good beer.
What's more important: good music or good food? And why?
Stéphane Plante: It depends on the situation. When I'm in a hurry, I need good music to give me energy and I don't have time to cook something fancy. But when I have nothing particular to do (I don't remember the last time it happened...) I like to eat good stuff. But good music as well! Maybe music is a bit more important in my life after all. I can't tell exactly.
Would you rather be anal probed by aliens or have a root canal without anaesthetics? Explain your choice.
Stéphane Plante: Good question! I'm happy you're asking it because I prepared an answer a long time ago. I think nothing's worst than a root canal. With or without anaesthetic. I still hate dentists. I'm still afraid of them. That's my reason.
Why does the wheel in the sky keep on turning?
Stéphane Plante: Ask her, not me. I'm not sure I get the question. Maybe you won't get my answer.
You've just been elected to the US senate (if you're not a US citizen, please either pretend you are or move forward on the assumption that you've taken a similar government-type position in your own country). What's on your agenda legislation-wise?
Stéphane Plante: Stop killing prisoners in Texas. Changing from A to Z the outside policy. I will ask Ralph Nader, Noam Chomsky, Howard Zinn and Michael Moore to seat at the White House with me.
If the moon were made of cheese, what kind of cheese would it be made of? Please explain your reasoning.
Stéphane Plante: Feta. I love Greek salad.
You've just won a contest in which the prize is your "dream car". What make and model of car do you choose? (And no, you can't just take the money.)
Stéphane Plante: A Chevy Citation, the one I lost my virginity in...
You can go back in time and kill one person without disrupting the space/time continuum, creating a paradox and causing the universe to collapse upon itself. Who would it be?
Stéphane Plante: Jean Charest, Quebec's Prime minister.
As an experiment, you spend an entire day with a stick of butter duct-taped to your forehead. What do you learn?
Stéphane Plante: That butter attracts flies?! I don't know...
What's the best way to spend a rainy day?
Stéphane Plante: Read Proust.
What is the coolest animal to watch a nature show about?
Stéphane Plante: Triceratops.
What do you do now, as a result of widespread internet access, that you didn't do ten years ago?
Stéphane Plante: Checking my emails every five minutes and pick up girls by chatting.
Who did you last give flowers and why?
Stéphane Plante: My mom, because she deserves it.
The thong: instrument of social change or harbinger of dark times?
Stéphane Plante: Both?
The police have just nailed you for some kind of minor infraction. What were you most likely to have been doing?
Stéphane Plante: Flirting with (very) young girls.
Would you shop at a supermarket run by ninjas? Why or why not?
Stéphane Plante: Is there any other way to shop in a supermarket?
What article (or articles) of clothing do you wish you never had to wear again? Why?
Stéphane Plante: Bermudas, my legs are so hairy.
Taking into account all current political, social and economic situations, which country would you most like to be and why?
Stéphane Plante: Maybe Sweden because most of the companies unionized. Quebec is not bad too, and it will be a real country one day.
Tell us about your weirdest experience with a fan.
Stéphane Plante: A girl lied to get in the place we were playing and she lied before we spend the night together.
When was the last time you had an entire day to yourself, and what did you do with it?
Stéphane Plante: Today (June 24th 2003). I watched a documentary on the Ramones. Later I'll go to a concert.
Ever written a letter to the editor? What publication, and on what subject?
Stéphane Plante: Yes, about the musician's union not representing correctly the young musician. The paper is called Voir (see).
What's the stupidest thing you've ever done while drunk? If you're a non-drinker, please limit your self-righteous response to 25 words.
Stéphane Plante: I walked like Charlie Chaplin on the street.
What's your favorite thing to do when you can't sleep?
Stéphane Plante: Read Proust.
What are your fellow band members' most irritating habits? If you have no fellow band members, what are your own most irritating habits?
Stéphane Plante: Playing my own instrument better than me.
You're making a guest appearance as yourself in the TV show of your choice. What's the show, and how do you fit into the plot?
Stéphane Plante: I'll play in Three's Company as Larry.
In three sentences or less, please give your opinion on the current state of the world.
Stéphane Plante: I hope the people will understand that the UK and the States cheated on everybody to commit their war. A lot of people knew it from the beginning, though.
A National Guardsman from Ohio recently changed his name to Optimus Prime, after the Transformer. If you could change your name to anything, what would you change it to?
Stéphane Plante: Gaspard, maybe.
We're considering lobbying the government to pass a law banning the use of certain overplayed words -- for example, "new", "flaming" and "electric" -- in band names. What other words should be banned?
Stéphane Plante: "Super".
Would you rather tour the world for a year, living out of hotels and minibuses, playing to sellout crowds but estranged from all meaningful interpersonal contact, or be crowned the next indie god(s) but be damned to a lifetime of college radio airplay, widespread obscurity and eventual golden years filled with soundtrack work?
Stéphane Plante: Could we get both of them?
What's the most un-rock and roll hobby or interest you have?
Stéphane Plante: Eating Indian foods.
What's the stupidest thing a reviewer ever said about you or your band?
Stéphane Plante: A guy from a lousy suburban fanzine said that we were copying Jacques Dutronc on one song, but he couldn't tell we were making a direct reference to him and Nino Ferrer. He didn't get it about Nino Ferrer. Stupid ignorant, I'm telling you.
Which is a better reason for an R rating -- pointless, arbitrary violence or over-the-top kinky sex that has nothing to do with the story?
Stéphane Plante: Over-the-top kinky sex...what I prefer to do when I wake up.
Which would be worse -- going three rounds with Mike Tyson, or having sex with Anna Nicole Smith?
Stéphane Plante: Having sex with Mike Tyson.
What's in your fridge right now?
Stéphane Plante: It's a national holiday, so...beer!
What advice would you give to Michael Jackson?
Stéphane Plante: He should give me the copyright for the Beatles' songs he owns.
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Les Séquelles released Et Tant Pis Si Cela Vous Déplaît on Grenadine Records back in 2000 (or was it 2001?), and honestly, we have no idea what they've been doing since then. Playing shows, perhaps.
-- George Zahora
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