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You can choose to have one -- and only one -- super power. Other than gaining that power, you remain exactly the same as you are now. What super power would you pick, and why?
Paul Nini: X-ray vision, of course. Look out, ladies.
What was your favorite day job, and why? If you hated them all, what was the best (meaning most interesting) way you ever quit a job?
Paul Nini: My current one, professor at a very large Midwestern university. I don't have
to work too hard, and I have summers off. What more could you want?
We've all heard variations on the phrase "there are two kinds of people in the world... Those who (do or think something) and those who (do or think something else)". What are the two kinds of people in the world for you?
Paul Nini: Those who are full of themselves and those who aren't. Indie-rock has a lot of the former, and not enough of the latter.
If money/ambition/significant others/et cetera were all non-issues, where would you choose to live and why?
Paul Nini: Italy, because there's no bad food there.
Summarize your driving ability in 25 words or less.
Paul Nini: Better than most of the boneheads on the road.
What is the function of your music in a capitalist society?
Paul Nini: None at all, since we're just hoping to break even.
What are you carrying on your person -- in your pockets, purse, et cetera -- right now?
Paul Nini: Keys + a wallet containing two tickets to see the Magnetic Fields in June.
You're on tour, you're in an unfamiliar city, you haven't eaten in 24 hours, and due to some poor financial decisions, you have only a single unit of the local currency -- one dollar, one pound, or thereabouts. What do you eat?
Paul Nini: Wendy's -- the 99 cents menu rocks, dude.
What was the last song you danced to? Who, if anyone, did you dance with?
Paul Nini: My wife and I dance to the Go-Betweens' "Bachelor Kisses" a lot. Corny, eh?
Post-Schwarzenegger, are there any high-profile people you'd like to see run for governor or other high office? Who and why?
Paul Nini: Bob Pollard for Governor of Ohio. He might suck at it, but he'd be better than the last two.
Apart from cheeseburgers, what is the cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast?
Paul Nini: Tacos, of course.
Have you ever seen a ghost? Or a dead body? Tell us about it.
Paul Nini: Well, various relatives have died, and my family insists on open coffins. There's nothing like seeing your dead Uncle with his lips sewn together.
Everyone can do at least a couple of decent imitations -- of celebrities, maybe, or associates, friends and family. Who can you "do"?
Paul Nini: I've been trying to do David Chappell doing Lil John, but my son is much better.
Let's assume that God is a DJ. What's on his playlist right now?
Paul Nini: I have it from a good source that God can't stop playing Neutral Milk Hotel.
Who was your favourite teacher in high school? Why?
Paul Nini: The one that let me sleep in class, for obvious reasons.
What is your favorite Meg Ryan movie?
Paul Nini: Sleepless in Seattle, which is kind of understated for her.
What is your favorite "comfort food" when you're on tour?
Paul Nini: Bacon -- and toast, too.
Tell us about the least likely place you ever sent a CD/demo. Why did you send it? What happened?
Paul Nini: To a major label guy who asked for it. Nothing happened. Go figure.
What essential item are you most likely to leave at home when you're heading out on tour? What do you do about it?
Paul Nini: Nail clippers. Just look for a Walgreens or CVS -- they're everywhere.
Aliens have just landed, and you get to select the Earth's goodwill ambassador. Who do you pick, and why?
Paul Nini: Jon Stewart, because he'll keep them entertained.
You wake up one morning and discover that you have dolphin telepathy. What do you do with it?
Paul Nini: Send suggestions to beautiful women to wear skimpy clothing?
You've just been hit in the face with a large chocolate cream pie. How do you react?
Paul Nini: Kick some ass.
Assuming that you must choose one, which would you rather listen to for an hour: Christian rock, mainstream country or Jessica Simpson?
Paul Nini: God, that's horrible. I'll take Christian rock, since the words are harder to hear.
What's the deal with those damn raccoons?
Paul Nini: Indeed. They're always getting in the trash, and one almost opened our window.
What is the most awkward moment in which you have caught a person adjusting, scratching, or otherwise handling his or her own genitals?
Paul Nini: What's awkward about that? Hell, that's all we do in Ohio.
Where do you think Osama Bin Laden is hiding and what would it take to get him to come out?
Paul Nini: Washington DC, and a lot of money from the recording industry lobbyists.
You're sitting in a pub when an errant dart from the games area strikes you in the leg. With the dart pointing out of your body, do you pull it out, shout for help or attack the jackass who hit you?
Paul Nini: This is kind of like the pie question, no? Again, kick some ass.
What would you consider to be the worst fate imaginable for your music, and which contemporary artist would you most wish this terrible end upon?
Paul Nini: The answer to both parts of the question is "William Hung".
What is sexy?
Paul Nini: Sweatpants. Don't get me started.
What is the strangest thing you've ever had for breakfast?
Paul Nini: Lunch meat (in Italy), with rolls and coffee. Not bad, actually.
Describe the skankiest, sketchiest place -- whether it's someone's home or a hotel/motel room -- that you've stayed in while on tour.
Paul Nini: A place with a toilet so small that my bandmate had to take a scissors and cut
one of his turds in two to make it flush. I kid you not.
If you had an army of super-intelligent lab mice to do your bidding, what evil deeds would you have them do?
Paul Nini: Chase George W. Bush out of the country, but that's not really evil, is it?
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Log's latest, Log Almighty, was released last year on Old 3C. Some of us like it more than our noncommital review suggests.
-- George Zahora
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