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Various religions suggest that there's a "special" hell for certain sins (hurting children, being cruel to animals, using the word "blog" as a verb, etc). Who else needs a "special" hell?
Duggan: Rapists, people that fuck dead people, and clowns.
Due to poor financial planning, you've got to eat for an entire week on only US$10. What do you buy, food-wise?
Duggan: I don't buy food. I invest that $10 dollars on ten $1 lottery
scratch tickets. Hopefully I will make more than $10 outta
it.
What's the biggest misconception that people have about you?
Duggan: Probably either that we are from LA or that we are some sort of
touchy emo band. Both are completely wrong.
What's the worst injury you've ever suffered for your art (i.e. second degree burns from shorted-out mic, broken leg from failed stage dive)? Tell us about it.
Duggan: Well, one night after a show and a long night of partying, I was
walking down some old wooden stairs and the lip of the stair broke
off. I reached back to try to catch myself from falling and I ended up
dislocating my thumb and breaking a bunch of bones in my right hand.
The base of my thumb was where my pinky was. It was gross-looking. But
at least I got some Vicodin outta it.
You've got unlimited funding and technical expertise to make an IMAX movie on the topic of your choice. What do you choose? Describe the obligatory vertigo-inducing camera shot that makes the entire audience clutch their stomachs.
Duggan: Maybe a child birth video, 'cause I think that would be pretty great to
watch on an IMAX screen. The shot that would make the audience clinch
their stomachs is the one of the baby crowning. All blood and pussy
matter flying about. Sexy!
You've locked your car keys inside the tour van and don't have AAA. How do you get the door open?
Duggan: We have done this many times before. We know how to work it open with
a clothes hanger. No problem there.
Ever find useful stuff in the garbage? Describe your best-ever dumpster find and how you used it.
Duggan: I found a leather reclining chair in the dumpster once. After like a
month me and my buddies lit it on fire, so I guess I used it for
entertainment purposes.
In the UK, trying to kill the Queen is still technically a capital offence. If the Queen tried to commit suicide and failed, could she be sentenced to death? Explain.
Duggan: No, she would just be infected with a vile strain of herpes as
punishment. The new kind that you can get just from sitting on a
toilet seat. I wouldn't want that as a punishment, would you?
If you were a 50ft high Tyrannosaurus Rex, would you use your powers for good or evil? Who would you go after first?
Duggan: EVIL!!! Definitely! First target, President Bush and his boys in DC. Fuck that guy! I would eat him, then fuck his daughters!
You've decided to write a musical. What's it about and who's the star?
Duggan: It would probably be about the amazing power of magnets. They are
pretty amazing. My star: the singer of AC/DC. That musical would win
so many fucking awards. I gotta get on that shit.
What's your favorite board game? Why do you like it?
Duggan: Chess, by far. It's like war, all strategy. I like trapping someone's
king and destroying them. Its pretty fun. I also like Hungry Hungry
Hippos.
Everyone likes at least one cheesy/crappy song that totally kills their cred. What's yours?
Duggan: Kelly Clarkson's "Since You've Been Gone". That shit's my shit.
What was the best meal you were supplied by a tour venue? What was the worst?
Duggan: I think at any of the House of Blues. They give their bands such
delicious food. Worst is anyone who doesn't feed us.
Will it ever truly be possible to "rock the vote", or will apathy, indifference and laziness always triumph over activism?
Duggan: None of that. Ignorance will always get in the way.
You discover a new disease, "(Your name here)'s Syndrome". What are its symptoms? What is the cure for "(Your name here)'s Syndrome"?
Duggan: Duggan's Syndrome? That is insanity due to being bored. Cure? Jameson's
Irish Whiskey!
You want to cry? I'll give you something to cry about. What would you like to cry about?
Duggan: I am a man, goddamn it. I don't cry unless someone I love or care about
is hurt or passes away.
If you could watch one historical event re-enacted by a cast of chimpanzees, which one would it be, and why?
Duggan: The Boston Tea Party. That shit would make me die laughing... monkeys
dressing up as Native Americans throwing tea overboard a ship? Precious!
What is the coolest tattoo you've ever seen (and don't choose one of your own)?
Duggan: My friend Bobby has an Elvis face tattoo on his neck. It's pretty bad ass.
How long after an unopened gallon of milk's "use-by" date has passed would you be willing to use it?
Duggan: Till it smells bad.
What is the most unusual item you've thrown up on/in?
Duggan: I pounded a pitcher of beer once... only to puke it right back up into
that same pitcher. Then I pounded the puke. It was nasty.
Do you prefer the term "underwear" or "underpants"? What does that say about you?
Duggan: Underpants. It sounds more perverted. I am perverted.
You've been asked to submit an anecdote or "tip" to a book called Everything I Need to Know About Life I Learned On Tour With My Band. What do you tell them?
Duggan: "Don't bring anything with you that you don't want broken." Also "Never
let anyone use your pillow." I hate that shit.
What basic freedoms are you prepared to give up in exchange for your and your family's safety?
Duggan: My family is safe -- my father is on the Boston Bomb Squad. He will fuck
up anyone who tries to fuck with him. So I will give up none of my freedoms.
Due to a breakthrough in technology, it's possible to learn any skill, no matter how complex, pretty much instantly, by uploading the information directly into your brain (yes, like in The Matrix). Unfortunately, you can only do it once. What skill would you learn, and why?
Duggan: I would wanna learn how to do it more than once, obviously. That way I
could learn everything. And if you don't like that answer... Mind
Control!
Not to be morbid, but let's assume that (a) you've died, and (b) you filled out an organ donor card and potential recipients are lining up. Which part of your body do you think will be most sought-after? Are there any bits no one would want?
Duggan: Maybe my cock? I know what they wouldn't want... my liver.
A long-lost possession has turned up on Ebay, and you're prepared to pay much more than it's worth just to finally get it back. What is it? Why is it worth so much to you?
Duggan: My beard. I accidently trimmed it too short, so it's gone for a couple
of days until it grows back. I miss it horribly, so I would pay top
dollar if it were on Ebay.
You've been given the resources and financial backing to create a new satellite TV network that caters specifically to your tastes and the tastes of people like you. What's it called, and what does it show?
Duggan: Humor TV. It only shows old episodes of America's Funniest Home
Videos starring Bob Saget. And maybe some repeats of the Andy Dick
Show.
There are literally hundreds of euphemisms for masturbation. What's the best one you've heard?
Duggan: Yoke and Lotion!
Which is worse: downloading an album and burning copies for five friends, or shoplifting one physical copy of the same CD from an overpriced national retailer? Explain your answer.
Duggan: Burning CDs isn't bad. I do it. So I guess shoplifting is worse. You
can get arrested and yelled at by mall security. Fuck that shit.
A few years ago, anal sex was still taboo; nowadays it's trendy. What will be the next major sexual taboo to fall?
Duggan: Eating each other's shit while pissing on kittens.
What, in your opinion, is the best book ever written? And why?
Duggan: The Bible. It's full of hilarious fun-filled adventures! Like something
about cactus surfing. Or is that a different book?
The USA needs a universal healthcare system. So far, no President has gotten anywhere near implementing one. Why do you think they keep failing? (Bonus: Outline your own plan for universal healthcare in 100 words or less.)
Duggan: It's because we elect idiots usually, besides Clinton.
In Canada, healthcare is run by the government. Here, it's all run by
independently-owned companies. America doesn't care if someone is sick.
It only cares about money. I say we stop being locked under the
thumb of the mighty dollar and give people the healthcare they need and
deserve. I think everyone should have free healthcare. Can we somehow
arrange that?
Right this very second, what are you most looking forward to, and why?
Duggan: I am most looking forward to going on tour in two weeks. However, right
now I am psyched to go see Social D on Tuesday. I fucking love them... best band ever!
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Lost City Angels recently released Broken World and will be on tour throughout the spring.
-- George Zahora
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