WHAT IS THE MOST EMBARRASSING THING YOU'VE EVER DONE IN A FAST FOOD
RESTAURANT?
Ryan Fergus: Ordered some thing called a "gordita" with a straight face.
IF YOU COULD ELECT A MUSICIAN AS PRESIDENT OF THE U.S. (OR LEADER OF YOUR
HOME COUNTRY),
WHO WOULD YOU CHOOSE?
RF: The singer from Smashmouth. Just so I could see him do it.
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE FORM OF EXERCISE?
RF: Lift the bong to your mouth, put back down. Repitions of 5.
NAME THREE SITUATIONS THAT WOULD BE MUCH FUNNIER WITH THE ADDITION OF
MONKEYS.
RF: A Limp Bizkit show, because they are kinda chimp-like already. A very uncomfortable first date w/ an extremely hairy girl (the irony!). My life in general. I love monkeys.
IF YOU COULD ISSUE ONE ALBUM OR ONE BOOK TO EVERYONE IN THE WORLD ON THEIR
THIRTEENTH
BIRTHDAY, WHAT WOULD THE ALBUM/BOOK BE?
RF: Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter Thompson.
WHERE WOULD YOU RATHER PLAY: A CLUB THAT GIVES YOU LOTS OF GREAT FREE FOOD
BUT HAS HORRIBLE
BATHROOMS, OR A CLUB THAT DOESN'T FEED YOU BUT HAS HOT SHOWERS AND BIG
FLUFFY TOWELS?
RF: Always take the food. Especially since you are probably not getting paid
enough to buy any yourself.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH KIDS TODAY ANYWAY?
RF: All that darned indie-rock. If they all listened to rap-metal mooks, the
future would be much safer.
IS A FEMALE PRESIDENT THE ANSWER TO AMERICA'S PROBLEMS?
RF: That, or the fat guy from Smashmouth. I am serious about this.
WHAT IS THE FUNNIEST LOOKING ANIMAL?
RF: Baboons. Look at those red asses! Hilarious!!!!!
IF YOU COULD HAVE THE "ORIGINAL" OF ANYTHING, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
RF: The original masters of Nevermind to remix and distort to my liking.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
RF: Me-day.
IF YOU KNEW THAT BY NEVER LISTENING TO LOUD MUSIC AGAIN YOU'D ADD TEN YEARS
TO YOUR LIFE,
WOULD YOU DO IT?
RF: No way in hell. Rock on.
WHAT KIND OF PERSON WEARS THONG UNDERWEAR?
RF: Skeezas and hoochie-mamas.
