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You've been given a robot that can be trained to perform one standardized
task perfectly, as often as necessary. What do you train it to do?
Shayne Cox: That's easy.....clean. Just as long as the actual
training doesn't take too much time. I would like to
be able to just give the order and have the robot know
exactly what to do.
You are seriously ill. There are two vaccines that will save your life,
but both have side effects: one will permanently eliminate your sense of
taste, and the other will permanently eliminate all feeling in your
genitals. Which vaccine would you choose?
Shayne Cox: The one that does not eliminate the feeling in my
genitals.
Somehow you've gotten into a fight with someone
twice your size. Where do you aim the first punch?
Shayne Cox: First, put my hand in the air and snap my finger.
Now that I have distracted them I headbutt them in the
face. As soon as this happens I knee that same person
in the "midsection" and proceed to run away. I'm very
fast...
The "fast-forward" and "skip" buttons on all your
stereo equipment are broken, and you can't afford to repair them right
now. For the time being, you can only listen to albums from beginning
to end, without skipping any songs. What albums in your collection
are still listenable?
Shayne Cox: John Coltrane's A Love Supreme, Pink Floyd's The Wall, anything by Godspeed You Black Emperor, Curtis Mayfield's Superfly, The Dears' End Of A Hollywood Bedtime Story, Nirvana's Nevermind, Guided By Voices' Bee Thousand, The Smiths' Meat Is Murder...this could go on for a long, long, time.
If given the perfect opportunity to be unjust, would a just person succumb to it?
Shayne Cox: No, not if they were truly just.
You've been asked to write the Encyclopedia Britannica entry on yourself. What does it say?
Shayne Cox: Where did this guy get such great hair? He's cute
too!
You've somehow been given the chance to spend the
day with a character (not an actor) from any film or television program. Who do you choose?
Shayne Cox: Del Griffith (John Candy's character in Planes, Trains and
Automobiles). Now that's what I call goooood
conversation!
If you could instantly learn to play one instrument that you don't currently play, what would it be?
Shayne Cox: The violin, for sure. I thought I was this wizard
of a musician and I picked up a violin thinking that
it would be no problem. I was wrong.
The people of the town where you were born want to
name a building after you. They've asked you to choose the sort of
building that best matches your personality. What kind of building do you
choose?
Shayne Cox: Some sort of psych institution. That, or the
"love" house.
What month of the year do you least anticipate? Why?
Shayne Cox: January. How depressing.
What animal would you most like to house in your back yard, if you could?
Shayne Cox: Well, I always wanted a dog. Exotically speaking? I don't know.... a panda?
When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
Shayne Cox: A politician. I love to argue. Especially with
the band. So I guess it's like both dreams coming
true at the same time...
If you could buy any rare collection in the world,
which collection would you choose? (This doesn't have to be a famous
collection...but it can be.)
Shayne Cox: I don't really care, but for the sake of
answering...I don't know, first pressings of jazz
vinyl.
What's the best advice you've ever received? Who gave it to you?
Shayne Cox: Happiness is a direction, not a
place. - K. Weckworth
You've been invited to perform as the middle act in
a three-act bill. You get to choose the other two artists. Who opens for
you, and who follows you?
Shayne Cox: That is a very tough question. I'm gonna assume
that they have to be alive...ummmmm....TONIGHT! SONIC
YOUTH, with Music for Mapmakers and very special
guests BOARDS OF CANADA!
You've been placed in the Witness Protection
Program, and must change your name. You're able to pick your new name. What do
you call yourself?
Shayne Cox: Digby Charlebois. I hope I don't need a middle
name.
What lesson should the world learn from the failure
of all those dotcom businesses?
Shayne Cox: First of all, I'll answer a question you did not
ask. 17 is my favorite number. As for the
question... Only fools rush in.
What steps should airlines take to help avoid a
repeat of the September 11th tragedy?
Shayne Cox: Marshalls just might be the answer, although I
don't know how I would feel about getting on a plane
with a guy who has a gun, no matter who it is.
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Our own Jenn Sikes had this to say about Music for Mapmakers' new EP, .02:
If you insist on cheap comparisons, you might consider them more a jazz-rooted version of Low; Music for Mapmakers seems to be intent on making a practice out of doing more with less, or creating worlds with minimal gestures. It's almost sad that this is their first EP, because I'm alternately thrilled and terrorized to imagine what they will come up with for their first full-length.
Read more about the band at Grenadine Records, their label.
-- George Zahora
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