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What band did you listen to most in the eighties? Do you still like them?
Erin Tate: I really liked KISS. When I was a child I would dress up like Peter Criss, I remember. I was so stoked when they did the solo records and Peter got to sing. At this point my brother and I had already put a band together, and me being the young guy and not having money to buy a guitar before him, I got stuck playing the drums. So when Peter got his chance to shine and the song "Beth" moved the world, I really felt that. Do I still like them? Not really -- the older they got the worse they got.
You're about to get -- ahem -- get lucky. What album is playing in the background? Why'd you choose it?
Erin Tate: D'Angelo's The Voodoo Album. From start to finish it is a non-stop sex jam roller coaster. I have never seen this man live but I've heard from many people that if you go to a D'Angelo show you feel like you've been fucked at the end of the show -- so maybe if you listen to it while you are having sex, you could get some kind of a freaky threesome going.
If you could beat up anyone in the world and get away without the usual annoying real - world consequences -- jail time, lawsuits, bad press, etc.-- who would it be, and why?
Erin Tate: Oh man, such a hard question. Maybe the Dell Computer kid, I've always wanted to just break that kid's head open. I mean, why is it cool to put a super ugly, really annoying person on TV to advertise a computer? Aaaaarrrrggghhhhh. I hate that kid.
If you were a porn star, what would your "porn name" be?
Erin Tate: Wrigley Chew. Perfect porn name -- it says it all.
If you could sponsor any beverage -- appear in their in their ads, receive a lifetime supply and never be seen drinking a competing product -- what beverage would it be?
Erin Tate: HITE beer. It is Korea's answer to Budweiser -- goes down soooooo easy. The first time I had it I ended up having 14 of them without even realizing it. I would sponsor that beer in a second. Maybe I could be something like "MR. HITE" -- they could have ads of me hanging out on a beach in a thong with blonde girls, just chugging some HITE.
Why are frogs amusing?
Erin Tate: Do you really think they are? Sometimes they kinda freak me out. I really like little cartoon frogs and little cute drawings of them, but live frogs are a little scary. I once saw this movie where frogs were attacking people and ever since than they just kinda freak me out.
You've traveled back in time and met yourself, age sixteen. What do you think?
Erin Tate: In 1995/96 I was in a pop punk band called Shampoop. We had a spin off R&B band named The Swang Boyzzz. I was pretty much a dork. I was super into hip-hop and I wore big pants and a backwards baseball hat and said dog a lot (not like I still don't). I would probably look at myself and say "damn, you are so lucky you don't have a job". That's about it.
Which would be worse: three hours on a bus full of four year-olds, or three hours on a bus full of eighty year-olds? Why?
Erin Tate: Four year olds would be much worse. Old people fall asleep so fast and are easy to ignore. Kids are loud and crazy and they are so stupid -- I mean, the Power Rangers? Come on...
Will the next Star Wars movie suck? Why or why not?
Erin Tate: Yes, it will. The first new one did. I haven't seen the newest one but I'm sure it's awful. The only funny thing about that movie would be the Yoda fighting part. Yoda looks just like my pug, Magoo. And man, it would be real funny if we painted Magoo green and got her to fight people. Hahahaha. Now that's entertainment. Someone let me make movies, for Chrissake.
What's the best venue you've ever played? What's the worst? Why?
Erin Tate: Best = Burt's Tiki Lounge in Salt Lake City. Worst = Burt's Tiki Lounge in Salt Lake City. Why? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Just go and check that place out.
The US government is considering far more aggressive regulation of leather pants. Under the new rules, who should or shouldn't be allowed to wear them?
Erin Tate: Leather pants are a "no-no" for anyone who is not A) a trashy girl or B) Axl Rose. Remember that, please.
How many roads must a man walk down before they call him a man?
Erin Tate: I think before you are really a man you have to have the awful embarrassment of having your pants pulled down in public (school or something like that). The day that happened to me, I knew I was a man. So, I'd say about 16 roads.
What album(s) should everyone be given on their eighteenth birthday?
Erin Tate: The first Beatnuts LP. After the second time I was arrested when I was just about 18, I had to do 200 hours of community service and the only reason I got through it was that record. The songs are so fucking amazing...it really spoke to me while I was cleaning bookshelves at the library.
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Splendid's Jeremy Schneyer really loved the quasi-supergroup's first EP, What I Know About Being Gigantic, as did many of the rest of us. He was less impressed by Highly Refined Pirates, their full-length debut. Oh well. Sometimes life sucks.
-- George Zahora
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