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The Man Scouts of America take the Pointless Questions
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Man Scouts of America!


Visit RAFR, the Man Scouts' label. Or read our review of Crash Course. We also invite you to shop for Man Scouts stuff at Insound.

YOU'VE BEEN GIVEN A CHANCE TO TRAVEL IN TIME TO THE YEAR 2025 TO SEE HOW THE WORLD WILL HAVE CHANGED. WHAT ARE YOU MOST CURIOUS ABOUT?

Del: What my girlfriend will look like 25 years from now.

Rik: Looking back to see if my life was a success. And how the environment held up.

Tommy: Transportation.

John: The style of women's pubic hair.

IF YOU COULD HAVE ANYTHING IN THE WORLD COMPLETELY TO YOURSELF FOR ONE DAY -- AND OBJECT OR PLACE -- WHAT WOULD IT BE?

Rik: My apartment.

Del: A lightning ball.

Tommy: Area 51.

John: The Concorde.

IF A MOVIE WAS MADE ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WHERE WOULD IT BE SHELVED IN THE VIDEO STORE?

Rik: Horror.

Del: Action/Adventure.

John: Travel.

Tommy: Cult Classic.

YOU'RE GUEST-HOSTING A NIGHT-TIME TALK SHOW FOR ONE NIGHT ONLY. WHO WOULD BE YOUR IDEAL GUESTS?

Rik: Howard Stern, Marilyn Manson, Keith Richards.

Tommy: JonBenet Ramsey, Charles Manson, Liz Hurley.

Del: Bruce Willis, Axl Rose.

John: Jim Jarmusch, Keith Moon, Marilyn Chambers.

IF YOU JOINED THE CIRCUS, WHAT WOULD YOU DO THERE?

Rik: Ring leader.

Del: Juggle Fire.

Tommy & John: Acrobat.

WHAT PERSON -- FAMOUS OR NOT -- CAN YOU IMITATE BEST?

Del: Bill Paxton.

Rik, Tommy & John: Seinfeld.

IF YOU HAD TO EITHER WALK OR RUN TEN MILES EVERY DAY, WHERE WOULD YOU WANT TO DO IT?

Rik: Golden Gate Park, San Francisco.

Tommy: On the beach.

Del & John: Pacific Beach, San Diego.

WHAT'S THE BEST SONG EVER WRITTEN?

Rik: "Before They Make Me Run" (Rolling Stones).

Del: "Sweet Child o' Mine" (GnR).

Tommy: "Problem Child" (AC/DC).

John: Definitely not "Californication".

YOU'VE BEEN GIVEN A POTION THAT ALLOWS YOU TO BECOME INVISIBLE FOR EXACTLY ONE HOUR. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO FOR THAT HOUR? Rik: Steal all the money I can.

Tommy: Walk the grounds of the Playboy Mansion.

John: Hang out in the dressing room at the Elite Modeling Agency.

YOU'VE JUST WRITTEN YOUR AUTOBIOGRAPHY. WHAT'S IT CALLED?

Rik: One Man's Triumphant Rise to the Top.

Del: The Many Faces of Del Cheetah.

Tommy: Tastes Great.

John: Swimming with Sharks.

WHAT'S THE LONGEST YOU'VE EVER STOOD IN LINE? WHY'D YOU DO IT?

Rik: All day to meet Gene Simmons at a record store.

Tommy: Superman rollercoaster at Bear Mountain.

John: Camping out for Stones tickets back in high school.

Del: 35 minutes at McDonalds to get Tommy a Filet o' Fish.

IF YOU COULD HAVE 100 POUNDS OF ANYTHING (OTHER THAN MONEY), WHAT WOULD YOU WANT?

Rik: Weed.

Tommy: Mercury.

Del: Frosted Mini-Wheats.

John: Kind Bud.

WHAT THOUGHT OR SENTIMENT WOULD YOU LIKE TO PUT INTO ONE MILLION FORTUNE COOKIES?

Rik: The end is near.

Tommy: You don't have a chance.

Del: Variety is the spice of life.

John: The Scouts will set you free.

MICROSOFT OFFERS YOU $5 MILLION (US) TO USE ONE OF YOUR SONGS IN ALL WINDOWS MILLENNIUM ADVERTISING. DO YOU TAKE THE MONEY? WHAT DO YOU DO WITH IT?

All: Yes!!!!!

Tommy & Del: Retire.

Rik: Greatly improve my lifestyle and the lifestyles of those around me.

John: Buy a hundred pounds of kind bud.

WHAT ARTICLE OF CLOTHING SHOULD NEVER BE MADE OUT OF LEATHER, AND WHY?

All: Socks. It's self-explanatory.

IF YOU COULD DO ONLY ONE JOB, 8 HOURS A DAY, 5 DAYS A WEEK FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, WHAT WOULD YOU WANT THAT JOB TO BE?

Rik: Rockstar.

Del: Pimpin' Ho's.

John: Play drums.

Tommy: Rocker.

WHAT IS THE MOST THOUGHTFUL THING A VENUE HAS EVER DONE FOR YOU?

All: Free drinks. Sometimes food.

John: Fresh underwear and socks.

WHAT IS THE WORST WAY TO DIE?

Del: Old age.

Rik: Ebola Virus.

Tommy: Eaten Alive.

John: Castrated, then thrown in the ocean to be devoured by sharks.

IF YOU COULD BE THE SPOKESPERSON FOR ANY PRODUCT ON THE MARKET, WHAT PRODUCT WOULD YOU CHOOSE TO REPRESENT?

Rik: Uptime Energy Pills.

Tommy: Smith & Wesson.

Del: Carvin Guitars.

John: Rusty Surfboards.

IF YOU HAD TO JOIN THE CAST OF ONE OF THE CURRENT CROP OF REALITY TV SHOWS, WHICH ONE WOULD YOU CHOOSE?

Rik: American High.

Tommy: Survivor.

Del: Ally McBeal.

John: Survivor. And then change the name to "Moderately Uncomfortable".

· · · · · · ·

Splendid's Andrew Magilow described the Man Scouts' CD, Crash Course, as a "no-holds-barred platter of relentless, schtick-driven good times". If that sounds like the sort of thing you're into -- and really, how couldn't it be -- you should check 'em out.

-- George Zahora



Splendid is always looking for artists and bands who can handle our Pointless Questions. We mostly do them by e-mail, so they're quick and painless, unless you can't type. E-mail us for more information! Your band could be next...


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