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New Radiant Storm King's Matt Hunter does POINTLESS QUESTIONS

new radiant storm king
New Radiant Storm King

Read Splendid's review of Leftover Blues 1991-2003, visit New Radiant Storm King's website or buy New Radiant Storm King stuff at Insound.

You can choose to have one -- and only one -- super power. Other than gaining that power, you remain exactly the same as you are now. What super power would you pick, and why?

Matt Hunter: Flying, of course. What could be better?

What was your favorite day job, and why? If you hated them all, what was the best (meaning most interesting) way you ever quit a job?

Matt Hunter: I was fired for spilling a vat of Cajun sauce all over the prep area in a third-rate sandwich shop (that and for being an hour late to work for a three hour shift on my second day). The feeling was mutual.

We've all heard variations on the phrase "there are two kinds of people in the world... Those who (do or think something) and those who (do or think something else)". What are the two kinds of people in the world for you?

Matt Hunter: Those who piss and those who pee.

If money/ambition/significant others/et cetera were all non-issues, where would you choose to live and why?

Matt Hunter: Dubrovnik. I hear it's nice.

Summarize your driving ability in 25 words or less.

Matt Hunter: I drive well, but defensively, as I own a 1990 Ford Festiva. It doesn't compete well with large trucks on I-95.

What is the function of your music in a capitalist society?

Matt Hunter: To make f**kloads of cash for me and my kin. You asked.

You've just entered a contest in which the prize is an MP3 player loaded with the complete, exhaustive recorded output of any artist you choose. You win. Who do you choose?

Matt Hunter: Today Leonard Cohen or Howe Gelb, tomorrow someone else.

What are you carrying on your person -- in your pockets, purse, et cetera -- right now?

Matt Hunter: My wallet, keys, and about $3.00 in change.

You're on tour, you're in an unfamiliar city, you haven't eaten in 24 hours, and due to some poor financial decisions, you have only a single unit of the local currency -- one dollar, one pound, or thereabouts. What do you eat?

Matt Hunter: When I was younger, Ho-Hos. I did so many times. Today, I'd probably dig through the back of the van for all that lost change and get a pint of beer.

What was the last song you danced to? Who, if anyone, did you dance with?

Matt Hunter: Some obscure country song, waltzing with my significant other.

Post-Schwarzenegger, are there any high-profile people you'd like to see run for governor or other high office? Who and why?

Matt Hunter: I'd like to see Mike Watt as an alderman in some small New England town. I suppose we won't live to see it. Is he high-profile enough?

Apart from cheeseburgers, what is the cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast?

Matt Hunter: Very clever. Everyone knows cheeseburgers are for dessert.

You receive a series of e-mails stating that Grace Jones, Junior Brown, Missy Elliott, Ian Mackaye and Philip Glass are interested in a collaboration. How do you respond to each request?

Matt Hunter: "Sorry", "Sorry", "Ugh", "Fuck Off", and "Hi Dad!"

Everyone can do at least a couple of decent imitations -- of celebrities, maybe, or associates, friends and family. Who can you "do"?

Matt Hunter: There's a saying -- and empirical research seems to support this - that everyone can perfectly imitate one character from The Simpsons. I do a not half bad Chief Wiggum.

What was the last book you read and hated? Why did you hate it?

Matt Hunter: I generally don't get that far into books I decide I hate. Instead, I get my daily dose of rage by reading the editorial page of The Wall Street Journal.

Let's assume that God is a DJ. What's on his playlist right now?

Matt Hunter: Bach's Brandenburg Concertos, probably. And NRSK, of course.

What is your favorite "comfort food" when you're on tour?

Matt Hunter: All food is comfort food when you're on tour.

What essential item are you most likely to leave at home when you're heading out on tour? What do you do about it?

Matt Hunter: Guitar strings and batteries. I do the only thing you can do: buy more.

Aliens have just landed, and you get to select the earth's goodwill ambassador. Who do you pick, and why?

Matt Hunter: Louis Armstrong, because he more than anyone else could put the aliens instantly at ease with us Earthlings.

You wake up one morning and discover that you have dolphin telepathy. What do you do with it?

Matt Hunter: Talk to other dolphins.

You've just been hit in the face with a large chocolate cream pie. How do you react?

Matt Hunter: Nod, smile and congratulate.

What's the deal with those damn raccoons?

Matt Hunter: They mean well. They're just hungry.

You're sitting in a pub when an errant dart from the games area strikes you in the leg. With the dart pointing out of your body, do you pull it out, shout for help or attack the jackass who hit you?

Matt Hunter: First #1, then a very strong #3, most likely.

What is sexy?

Matt Hunter: I get asked that all the time.

What is the strangest thing you've ever had for breakfast?

Matt Hunter: Something in a Tokyo restaurant that I could not possibly describe. Eggs were involved somehow, I know that much.

Which non-music related product (i.e. -- no instruments, microphones, etc.) would you most like to be a celebrity spokesperson for?

Matt Hunter: Melinda's Garlic Habanero Pepper Sauce.

Describe the skankiest, sketchiest place -- whether it's someone's home or a hotel/motel room -- that you've stayed in while on tour.

Matt Hunter: I don't know how I could narrow it down to one...there was a dingy flat somewhere in the north of England where the tenants (all on the dole) didn't own any furniture. It seemed a really depressing existence.

If you had an army of super-intelligent lab mice to do your bidding, what evil deeds would you have them do?

Matt Hunter: Pleasure my girlfriend while I'm talking to the dolphins, or flying.

· · · · · · ·

New Radiant Storm King are one of those early nineties indie-rock bands whose influence exceeded their own fame. They're still around -- their most recent new full length, Winter's Kill, dropped in 2002, and Contraphonic issued Leftover Blues 1991-2003, a rarities compilation, earlier this year. They'll probably get around to releasing another record in 2005 or 2006. Until then, you should hunt down their back catalog.

-- George Zahora

Splendid is always looking for artists and bands who can answer our Pointless Questions quickly and cleverly. We mostly do them by e-mail, so they're quick and painless...unless you can't type. E-mail us for more information!



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