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Right now, with no advance notice, and for reasons we're not going to bother explaining, you must get rid of one album from your record collection. Which title gets the chop?
Steve Soboslai: I'd get rid of my Punchline CDs. I know how the songs go well enough to live without hard copy.
You wake up one morning and discover that you've grown two feet taller overnight. How does it affect your life?
Steve Soboslai: Well, myself and the rest of my bandmates average 5'7", so I'd look like an idiot in press photos, but it would be nice to grow. I haven't grown in five years.
What three things must a town or city have in order for you to be able to live happily there?
Steve Soboslai: Nice weather, "lazor" tag, three rivers.
What's more important: good music or good food? And why?
Steve Soboslai: Good music. I'm a vegetarian, so food does not matter much to me. Music, however, never stops playing in my head. If there was no good music I'd go crazy.
Would you rather be anal probed by aliens or have a root canal without anaesthetic? Explain your choice.
Steve Soboslai: I'd rather get an anal probe from my dentist with anaesthetic -- can't explain it though, just gut feeling.
Why does the wheel in the sky keep on turning?
Steve Soboslai: Because the steel in the bridge keeps on burning? (When you don't have an answer you rhyme)
You've just been elected to the US senate (if you're not a US citizen, please either pretend you are or move forward on the assumption that you've taken a similar government-type position in your own country). What's on your agenda legislation-wise?
Steve Soboslai: I'd bring nachos back to the cafeteria. That was my promise to my 8th grade class when I ran for student council. We had no power, though. I wasn't even given a press conference when I won.
If the moon were made of cheese, what kind of cheese would it be made of? Please explain your reasoning.
Steve Soboslai: Muenster. Because they could call it "Moonster", and make a quirky website out of it like "Napster" or "Friendster".
You've just won a contest in which the prize is your "dream car". What make and model of car do you choose? (And no, you can't just take the money.)
Steve Soboslai: While a lot of people are attracted to fancy sports cars, Punchline came to the conclusion that when we see beat up old vans with cool color schemes we shout out "Look at that van! WOW!". So I guess my dream van would be a... um... beat up old van with a cool color scheme. Damn, can I get a second chance on that one?
You can go back in time and kill one person without disrupting the space/time continuum, creating a paradox and causing the universe to collapse upon itself. Who would it be?
Steve Soboslai: Marty McFly, to show him he's not the only one.
As an experiment, you spend an entire day with a stick of butter duct-taped to your forehead. What do you learn?
Steve Soboslai: The second time is no more fun than the first.
What's the best way to spend a rainy day?
Steve Soboslai: Same as a sunny day, SWIM!
What is the coolest animal to watch a nature show about?
Steve Soboslai: Chris, our bass player, loves animals. I'd watch a nature show hosted by him with zebras and dolphins. On the road we've seen an elephant and a zebra.
What do you do now, as a result of widespread internet access, that you didn't do ten years ago?
Steve Soboslai: www.homestarrunner.com.
Who did you last give flowers and why?
Steve Soboslai: My mom, because she's a good kid.
The thong: instrument of social change or harbinger of dark times?
Steve Soboslai: They go out of tune a lot. (clever guitar humor, my apology)
The police have just nailed you for some kind of minor infraction. What were you most likely to have been doing?
Steve Soboslai: Throwing cars at rocks.
Would you shop at a supermarket run by ninjas? Why or why not?
Steve Soboslai: Depends on the name of the store. I do all of my shopping that way.
Its not how the package looks, it's what it's named.
What article (or articles) of clothing do you wish you never had to wear again? Why?
Steve Soboslai: This cummerbund. Think twice before you make a bet.
Taking into account all current political, social and economic situations, which country would you most like to be and why?
Steve Soboslai: I like the US. I couldn't imagine living anywhere else. My nickname would be "Uni".
Tell us about your weirdest experience with a fan.
Steve Soboslai: See the question about the anal probing dentist. No, just kidding. It's kind of weird when people make their own shirts or pants with our faces on them. But I like it a lot -- my heart is on my sleeve, my face is on my cummerbund.
When was the last time you had an entire day to yourself, and what did you do with it?
Steve Soboslai: I was sick the past four days. I watched 22 movies, spent countless hours online, and gave up hope!
Ever written a letter to the editor? What publication, and on what subject?
Steve Soboslai: No I have not, I respect editors. Unless this doesn't make it in. Then it's war.
What's the stupidest thing you've ever done while drunk? If you're a non-drinker, please limit your self-righteous response to 25 words.
Steve Soboslai: I trashed my friends' house. Really badly. We weren't even hanging out there. I went there after the party specifically to trash it. www.berlinproject.com -- sorry, guys.
What's your favorite thing to do when you can't sleep?
Steve Soboslai: I watch the Beatles Anthology.
What are your fellow band members' most irritating habits? If you have no fellow band members, what are your own most irritating habits?
Steve Soboslai: Guitar player doesn't have a cell phone, I can never find him. Bass player's driving scares me. Drummers neck cracks when he talks.
You're making a guest appearance as yourself in the TV show of your choice. What's the show, and how do you fit into the plot?
Steve Soboslai: Saturday Night Live, and I'm the host, dammit.
In three sentences or less, please give your opinion on the current state of the world.
Steve Soboslai: Everyone wants everything but there's not enough to go around. People need to laugh a little more. They need to bring back the show Wings.
A national guardsman from Ohio recently changed his name to Optimus Prime, after the Transformer. If you could change your name to anything, what would you change it to?
Steve Soboslai: Probably Optimus Prime, that's AWESOME!
We're considering lobbying the government to pass a law banning the use of certain overplayed words -- for example, "new", "flaming" and "electric" --in band names. What other words should be banned?
Steve Soboslai: Names of months, numbers, the letter "z".
Would you rather tour the world for a year, living out of hotels and minibuses, playing to sellout crowds but estranged from all meaningful interpersonal contact, or be crowned the next indie god(s) but be damned to a lifetime of college radio airplay, widespread obscurity and eventual golden years filled with soundtrack work?
Steve Soboslai: Tour tour tourance. I love touring.
What's the most un-rock and roll hobby or interest you have?
Steve Soboslai: I talk on the phone a lot. My nickname is "Oy Zonderfone".
What's the stupidest thing a reviewer ever said about you or your band?
Steve Soboslai: That we weren't heavy enough -- that's like saying "I don't like Radiohead because they're not a ska band." It doesn't reflect the music you're reviewing, it reflects poor writing. If I ever find that guy...
Which is a better reason for an R rating -- pointless, arbitrary violence or over-the-top kinky sex that has nothing to do with the story?
Steve Soboslai: I don't watch R rated movies.
Which would be worse -- going three rounds with Mike Tyson, or having sex with Anna Nicole Smith?
Steve Soboslai: Well, I was chilling at my friend Jeff's crib one night about eight and we were watching some Mike Tyson fight tapes. Jeff was like, "Man, you see how hard Mike's punchin?" I said, "Come on Jeff, that guy was just lunging." Left, right, left, right, another KO; If that was me I would have been okay, though.
What's in your fridge right now?
Steve Soboslai: General Tso's Tofu.
What advice would you give to Michael Jackson?
Steve Soboslai: Eat General Tso's Tofu and enjoy the fact that you were once the most popular person in the entire world.
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Pittsburgh's Punchline just released their new full-length, Action. They're on tour throughout April and May.
-- George Zahora
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