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Various religions suggest that there's a "special" hell for certain sins (hurting children, being cruel to animals, using the word "blog" as a verb, etc). Who else needs a "special" hell?
Slim: Commercial radio program directors.
Due to poor financial planning, you've got to eat for an entire week on only US$10. What do you buy, food-wise?
Slim: Ramen, sardines and okra.
What's the biggest misconception that people have about you?
Slim: That I am not a girly-man.
What's the worst injury you've ever suffered for your art (i.e. second degree burns from shorted-out mic, broken leg from failed stage dive)? Tell us about it.
Slim: Chronic back pain from moving really heavy speaker cabinets.
You've got unlimited funding and technical expertise to make an IMAX movie on the topic of your choice. What do you choose? Describe the obligatory vertigo-inducing camera shot that makes the entire audience clutch their stomachs.
Slim: I'd like to make a movie that chronicles a single medieval battle as realistically as possible, with the appropriate disorientation, hideous wounds, and none of that bullshit heroic stuff.
You've locked your car keys inside the tour van and don't have AAA. How do you get the door open?
Slim: Luckily, I have Cingular Roadside Assistance.
Ever find useful stuff in the garbage? Describe your best-ever dumpster find and how you used it.
Slim: Most of the art my old band Witchypoo used in our staging was dumpster stuff.
In the UK, trying to kill the Queen is still technically a capital offence. If the Queen tried to commit suicide and failed, could she be sentenced to death? Explain.
Slim: Sounds like a nice idea.
If you were a 50ft high Tyrannosaurus Rex, would you use your powers for good or evil? Who would you go after first?
Slim: Good and evil is too simple for a 50 ft high Marc Bolan.
You've decided to write a musical. What's it about and who's the star?
Slim: Muhammad Ali and Bill Clinton co-star as each other.
What's your favorite board game? Why do you like it?
Slim: I like this old game called Squad Leader cuz it's fun.
Everyone likes at least one cheesy/crappy song that totally kills their cred. What's yours?
Slim: I like 10,000 crappy songs -- so many that it actually is my cred and claim to fame.
The standard touring vehicle is always a beat-up van. What has been the worst/weirdest method of conveyance you've had to use on a tour?
Slim: Beat-up van pretty much sums it up.
What is the coolest tattoo you've ever seen (and don't choose one of your own)?
Slim: My old dead drummer's Little Prince tattoo.
What basic freedoms are you prepared to give up in exchange for your and your family's safety?
Slim: Fuck the pigs.
Due to a breakthrough in technology, it's possible to learn any skill, no matter how complex, pretty much instantly, by uploading the information directly into your brain (yes, like in The Matrix). Unfortunately, you can only do it once. What skill would you learn, and why?
Slim: Honesty.
A long-lost possession has turned up on Ebay, and you're prepared to pay much more than it's worth just to finally get it back. What is it? Why is it worth so much to you?
Slim: A leather jacket I used to have that had a Gun Club logo painted on the back. Sentimental value.
You've been given the resources and financial backing to create a new satellite TV network that caters specifically to your tastes and the tastes of people like you. What's it called, and what does it show?
Slim: SlimTV -- arty short films, good rock videos, five minute comedy snippets, episodes of Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman and The Prisoner and all the Sid and Marty Krofft shows, especially Land Of The Lost, and lots and lots of curling from Canada and baseball from the Caribbean, Mexico, and South America.
A few years ago, anal sex was still taboo; nowadays it's trendy. What will be the next major sexual taboo to fall?
Slim: Polyamory.
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The Punks' Thank You For the Alternative Rock may or may not be in stores now.
-- George Zahora
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