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You can choose to have one -- and only one -- super power. Other than gaining that power, you remain exactly the same as you are now. What super power would you pick, and why?
Karen Neal: The ability to "morph" into whatever I want. Why? Because I feel powerless to change.
What was your favorite day job, and why? If you hated them all, what was the best (meaning most interesting) way you ever quit a job?
Karen Neal: Is there such a thing? I had fun when I was working between tours at Taco Bell! I could wear my hair any color, pierce my nose, smoke pot with the district manager and expedite the lunch rush after dropping acid. I also managed to maintain a strict vegetarian diet! I wonder where all those friends are now!
We've all heard variations on the phrase "There are two kinds of people in the world... Those who (do or think something) and those who (do or think something else)". What are the two kinds of people in the world for you?
Karen Neal: Victims and Predators.
If money/ambition/significant others/et cetera were all non-issues, where would you choose to live and why?
Karen Neal: Austin, Texas.'Cause the town is alive with great clubs, kickass barbecue and crazy motherfuckers! Don't mess with Texas!
You've been given the money and resources to produce a movie biography of the most significant, influential person in your life. Who's it about, what's the story, and who plays the central character?
Karen Neal: Jello Biafra -- totally! He was my biggest inspiration in high school and he has been one of the dearest, most caring people I have ever met! He has survived so much turmoil, yet remains a strong and positive influence in others' lives! Plus he still fucking rocks! I love Jello!
Summarize your driving ability in 25 words or less.
Karen Neal: "Outta the way, asshole!...I'm crazier than you are!"
What is the function of your music in a capitalist society?
Karen Neal: To make people love me and buy as much of my shit as I can cram down their hungry throats!
You've just entered a contest in which the prize is an MP3 player loaded with the complete, exhaustive recorded output of any artist you choose. You win. Who do you choose?
Karen Neal: Milli Vanilli. I'm kidding...uhhhh, Led Zeppelin.
What are you carrying on your person -- in your pockets, purse, et cetera -- right now?
Karen Neal: Makeup, phone, wallet, keys, guitar picks, lotsa pills...and a few extra pounds.
You're on tour, you're in an unfamiliar city, you haven't eaten in 24 hours, and due to some poor financial decisions, you have only a single unit of the local currency -- one dollar, one pound, or thereabouts. What do you eat?
Karen Neal: The manager.
What was the last song you danced to? Who, if anyone, did you dance with?
Karen Neal: "Fuck the Pain Away" by Peaches, and...with Peaches!
When did you last make a mountain out of a molehill?
Karen Neal: Last night when I gave head.
Post-Schwarzenegger, are there any high-profile people you'd like to see run for governor or other high office? Who and why?
Karen Neal: William Hung...so maybe he'll stop singing.
Apart from cheeseburgers, what is the cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast?
Karen Neal: Pills.
You receive a series of e-mails stating that Grace Jones, Junior Brown, Missy Elliott, Ian Mackaye and Philip Glass are interested in a collaboration. How do you respond to each request?
Karen Neal: Grace Jones: "Hell Yeah!"
Junior Brown: "Yee Haw! Watch out cowboy!"
Missy Elliott: "Let's throw down!"
Ian MacKaye: "Fuck Yeah!"
Philip Glass: "Uh...Okay...Uh..."
Have you ever seen a ghost? Or a dead body? Tell us about it.
Karen Neal: I saw a dead body laying in the median next to the northbound I-75 overpass, where a car was literally nose down against the wall. Traffic was very slow, so I got a long hard look at her. Poor girl.
Everyone can do at least a couple of decent imitations -- of celebrities, maybe, or associates, friends and family. Who can you "do"?
Karen Neal: I used to be able to sing like Madonna and sometimes I can imitate Marge Simpson when I'm fucked up...I kinda look like her, too.
What was the last book you read and hated? Why did you hate it?
Karen Neal: Any instruction manual. I hate being told what to do!
Let's assume that God is a DJ. What's on his playlist right now?
Karen Neal: "I Don't Give A..." by Peaches. We were created in his image, ya know!
Who was your favourite teacher in high school? Why?
Karen Neal: Mrs. Montgomery, aka "Munch". She was a feisty-teensy-little woman with a big mouth, big balls and a great big heart! She taught art and public speaking and let me play my electric guitar in class.
What is your favorite Meg Ryan movie?
Karen Neal: The Doors.
What is your favorite "comfort food" when you're on tour?
Karen Neal: It's a tie between weed and crystal meth.
Tell us about the least likely place you ever sent a CD/demo. Why did you send it? What happened?
Karen Neal: I sent a patient from the dental office one and her whole family showed up to see Queen Bee perform at an outdoor festival. I told her kids to cover their ears.
What essential item are you most likely to leave at home when you're heading out on tour? What do you do about it?
Karen Neal: Makeup. Steal some more.
Aliens have just landed, and you get to select the earth's goodwill ambassador. Who do you pick, and why?
Karen Neal: George Bush...so they can give him the anal probe.
You wake up one morning and discover that you have dolphin telepathy. What do you do with it?
Karen Neal: Go ride a dolphin.
You've just been hit in the face with a large chocolate cream pie. How do you react?
Karen Neal: I empty the pie tin, take a big, hot steaming shit in it and return the favor.
Assuming that you must choose one, which would you rather listen to for an hour: Christian rock, mainstream country or Jessica Simpson?
Karen Neal: Christian rock. There are actually some good bands out there!
What's the deal with those damn raccoons?
Karen Neal: They're everywhere! I saw one stopping traffic, deliriously wandering across the road. So I put on my leather jacket and gloves, grabbed him and threw him in a bucket until the authorities came for him. Poor thing died.
What is the most awkward moment in which you have caught a person adjusting, scratching, or otherwise handling his or her own genitals?
Karen Neal: You're asking the wrong person that one! I grabbed my own crotch on the catwalk of the State Theatre's stage a week ago! They loved it!
Where do you think Osama Bin Laden is hiding and what would it take to get him to come out?
Karen Neal: Behind a Bush...a George Bush. A well rehearsed surrender!
You're sitting in a pub when an errant dart from the games area strikes you in the leg. With the dart pointing out of your body, do you pull it out, shout for help or attack the jackass who hit you?
Karen Neal: All of the above!
What would you consider to be the worst fate imaginable for your music, and which contemporary artist would you most wish this terrible end upon?
Karen Neal: For someone else to steal my songs before they're released... I do not wish bad upon others. I just laugh when they slip in their own shit!
What is sexy?
Karen Neal: Boys with makeup.
What is the strangest thing you've ever had for breakfast?
Karen Neal: A fly in my coffee.
Which non-music related product (i.e. -- no instruments, microphones, etc.) would you most like to be a celebrity spokesperson for?
Karen Neal: Cosmetics!
Describe the skankiest, sketchiest place -- whether it's someone's home or a hotel/motel room -- that you've stayed in while on tour.
Karen Neal: An abandoned apartment in Poland. No hot water and no windows. It was fucking cold and shitty. Plus, we stunk like hell after four days without a shower!
If you had an army of super-intelligent lab mice to do your bidding, what evil deeds would you have them do?
Karen Neal: Make me rich and famous...I don't care how!
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From the website bio:
Queen Bee formed in 1998 after Karen Neal and drummer Terry Bradley left the band Thrall. With Karen's 4-track full of written song ideas, young blood Mike Kish was soon recruited on guitar. Making an image "Bigger than Life" and getting spoiled by every magazine in Detroit, Queen Bee were press darlings and hated by every band that copied them! With the band's first single released on Alternative Tentacles Records, a self-released five song CD, and a sky-rocket to fame came the need for management and alot of frustrations. Karen was soon left with nothing but an album's worth of unrecorded songs and unfulfilled destiny. Karen decided to carry the torch alone as Queen Bee in search of new drones! Over the years, different line-ups emerged. Various credible musicians had swarmed the Queen's hive, awaiting the chance to be groomed for royalty, which included guitar or drum lessons and a glamorous make-over! (Check out the Drones page!) While Queen Bee was without a line-up, she kept the press's eye by re-inventing herself as a fashion designer, show host, make-up artist, fetish-model, hip-hop dancer, burlesque performer, digital artist, webmaster and advice columnist! Making personal appearances as the legend she has become, the Queen thrives on her celebrity status and will one day become a household name! On the musical end of things, Queen Bee has been happily re-united with her original drummer Terry Bradley, and has finally recorded her upcoming CD, aptly titled Girl On Top! Co-producing and overseeing the mixing process, her tunes are still in the works. With the lead guitar work of Joey Mazzola (Detroit Cobras, Sponge), and additional guest vocals of Jason Wrobel and Brian O'Blivion (Trash Brats), Queenie hopes to finish this masterpiece by the end of 2003! (Yes, this is an old bio -- Ed.) Two tracks have already been released on Sleazegrinder Records. The new "rawk" version of "Hot-lot", along with sexy shots of the Queen grace the Cock 'n' Roll compilation. And the upcoming Snake Oil Super Charm, which is a tribute to Zodiac Mindwarp, will feature a killer, country-fried punk version of "Untamed Stare" that's sure to knock you on yer friggin' ass! So get down on your knees and submit to the Queen, for one day she will "rawk and rule" your world!
-- George Zahora
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