Rah Bras. We seriously thought about using this photo of Isabella instead, just because we like looking at it, but diplomacy won the day. Read Splendid's review of Ruy Blas, visit the Rah Bras website or buy Rah Bras stuff at Insound.

You've been given a robot that can be trained to perform one standardized task perfectly, as often as necessary. What do you train it to do?

Dave NeSmith: Is giving us a trillion dollars standardized? I'll take that.

You are seriously ill. There are two vaccines that will save your life, but both have side effects: one will permanently eliminate your sense of taste, and the other will permanently eliminate all feeling in your genitals. Which vaccine would you choose?

Dave NeSmith: Duh, it would be nice to get the taste of genitals out of my mouth.

Somehow you've gotten into a fight with someone twice your size. Where do you aim the first punch?

Dave NeSmith: I guess if they were twice my size they would be about 12 foot two. So... I am assuming a good punch would have to be between the stomach and the kneecaps. Somewhere in there.

The "fast-forward" and "skip" buttons on all your stereo equipment are broken, and you can't afford to repair them right now. For the time being, you can only listen to albums from beginning to end, without skipping any songs. What albums in your collection are still listenable?

Dave NeSmith: Zoot woman, anything by Edie Brickell.

If given the perfect opportunity to be unjust, would a just person succumb to it?

Dave NeSmith: No.

You've been asked to write the Encyclopedia Britannica entry on yourself. What does it say?

Dave NeSmith: Hello numbnuts!

You've somehow been given the chance to spend the day with a character (not an actor) from any film or television program. Who do you choose?

Dave NeSmith: Billy Idol, as played by Billy Idol in The Wedding Singer.

If you could instantly learn to play one instrument that you don't currently play, what would it be?

Dave NeSmith: The hologramogasm.

The people of the town where you were born want to name a building after you. They've asked you to choose the sort of building that best matches your personality. What kind of building do you choose?

Dave NeSmith: A three-tiered geometric-shaped skyscraper.

What month of the year do you least anticipate? Why?

Dave NeSmith: November. It's been there for a while... but would you really notice it if it disappeared?

What animal would you most like to house in your back yard, if you could?

Dave NeSmith: Apple-headed fruit bears with pear-shaped booties.

When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Dave NeSmith: A turtle.

If you could buy any rare collection in the world, which collection would you choose? (This doesn't have to be a famous collection...but it can be.)

Dave NeSmith: Colon Bowel's collection of genitals.

What's the best advice you've ever received?

Dave NeSmith: Stay away from Colon Bowel.

Who gave it to you?

Dave NeSmith: Colon Bowel.

You've been invited to perform as the middle act in a three-act bill. You get to choose the other two artists. Who opens for you, and who follows you?

Dave NeSmith: PJ Harvey opens, Kid Commando closes.

You've been placed in the Witness Protection Program, and must change your name. You're able to pick your new name. What do you call yourself?

Dave NeSmith: Mrs Colon Bowel.

What lesson should the world learn from the failure of all those dotcom businesses?

Dave NeSmith: Steve Jobs took acid. Sell early.

What steps should airlines take to help avoid a repeat of the September 11th tragedy?

Dave NeSmith: Put Colon Bowel on each flight.

What is the greatest invention of the last ten years?

Dave NeSmith: The toaster.

Thanks to a breakthrough in technology, you can have a perfect memory-recording of one event in your life. Everything is included -- taste, smell, sound, vision and feeling; it basically means that you can relive the event over and over again. What event would you want to relive?

Dave NeSmith: When I made toast.

What toy from your childhood would you most like to track down now?

Dave NeSmith: My original "Babykins" story book.

Assuming that money, legality, etc. is no object, what is your intoxicant of choice?

Dave NeSmith: Motorcycles.

Which is more dangerous in the wrong hands -- guns or knowledge?

Dave NeSmith: If the hands are wrong how can they hold anything anyways?

Rah Bras are still touring behind Ruy Blas, which is now a year old. They'll be hitting the road for a few weeks in July. You should go see them.