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You can choose to have one -- and only one -- super power. Other than gaining that power, you remain exactly the same as you are now. What super power would you pick, and why?
Joseph White: We're going to go with Super Anger...extremely forceful and effective temper tantrums which will allow us to get anything we want.
What was your favorite day job, and why? If you hated them all, what was the best (meaning most interesting) way you ever quit a job?
Channing Sargent: In 2000, I worked at La Petite Coquette, an upscale lingerie boutique. Several women came in with their husbands' (stolen) credit cards and tried to buy thousands of dollars worth of lingerie as revenge and a boost to their self-esteem after they'd separated from or been neglected by their husbands. Men would come in with their call girls and buy them gifts of pearl thongs and sheer slips, and then try to sneak into the dressing rooms with them. One very straight-laced (no pun intended), wealthy businessman periodically bought thousands of dollars worth of lingerie, and we later found out that it was all for himself. This was my least favorite job ever -- the place reeked of vanilla, the manager played Madonna's album Music on repeat, and the other sales girls constantly tried to make me over in bodysuits, tight pants, and water-bras. I quit after only a few months.
If money/ambition/significant others/et cetera were all non-issues, where would you choose to live and why?
Joseph White: Barcelona! It's the finest place in the world. Great food, great architecture, great parks, great nightlife, and within convenient distance of the rest of Europe (and if necessary, the Eastern USA).
You've been given the money and resources to produce a movie biography of the most significant, influential person in your life. Who's it about, what's the story, and who plays the central character?
Channing Sargent: My father -- the world's smartest, most fun-loving, caring, and inspirational person alive. A highly-decorated Vietnam Veteran, the man is a hero. I'd have him play the lead role, but he's kind of humble, so since he looks a lot like the dad from Diff'rent Strokes as well as Crocodile Dundee, Conrad Bain and Paul Hogan would be second and third choices.
Summarize your driving ability in 25 words or less.
Joseph White: Cautiously alert after eight hours and two Rockstar Energy Drinks. Self-appointed veto power over anything playing on the stereo.
What is the function of your music in a capitalist society?
Joseph White: We offer a nice, slow ROI (Return on Investment) for the aggressive, forward-thinking family office investor.
You've just entered a contest in which the prize is an MP3 player loaded with the complete, exhaustive recorded output of any artist you choose. You win. Who do you choose?
Joseph White: That's an easy one -- Elvis! If we get sick of his songs, we just fast-forward to the Vegas years and rock out on his cover songs, like versions of "Johnny B. Goode" or "Cracklin' Rosie"!
What are you carrying on your person -- in your pockets, purse, et cetera -- right now?
Joseph White: Palm Pilot, iPod, every recording I've ever made on CD in case my apartment is looted or destroyed (not joking), flyers for our next show, cell phone, keys, money clip, the latest New Yorker, and a bunch of receipts in my back pocket.
You're on tour, you're in an unfamiliar city, you haven't eaten in 24 hours, and due to some poor financial decisions, you have only a single unit of the local currency -- one dollar, one pound, or thereabouts. What do you eat?
Channing Sargent: 75 cent loaf of bread, and a few liquid breath drops (they're high in calories!). I did actually stoop to this diet once, on a road trip when I had run out of money.
Post-Schwarzenegger, are there any high-profile people you'd like to see run for governor or other high office? Who and why?
Joseph White: I'd like to see some "high-profile" people who aren't Republicans from Hollywood. Maybe we should stick to "high-profile" people like John Kerry, who have been working hard for our country for over 35 years. It's strange that so many people think he's so out-of-touch because he's so "high-profile" but we have Arnold running California. I'm tired of circus politics with silly candidates, but if you want a celebrity, why not Al Franken or Chuck D. (Check them both out on Air America Radio).
Apart from cheeseburgers, what is the cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast?
Joseph White: IHoP's Belgian waffle and cheese blintz combo.
Have you ever seen a ghost? Or a dead body? Tell us about it.
Joseph White: My parents made me go with them to St. Patrick's Cathedral in NYC for a Sunday mass, but it was right after the cardinal had died. They had his body on display in a coffin for the whole church to see, surrounded by fireman and police volunteers. He was all bloated and looked kind of like Darth Vader after Luke takes off his mask in Return of the Jedi.
Everyone can do at least a couple of decent imitations -- of celebrities, maybe, or associates, friends and family. Who can you "do"?
Joseph White: I do a great Sean Connery and sometimes can get the Christopher Walken or Harry Caray. I do a Raymond (from Everybody Loves Raymond) that is intentionally pretty bad and makes fun of his show. I can also dance like Elvis, James Brown, David Byrne or Ian Curtis.
What was the last book you read and hated? Why did you hate it?
Joseph White: It's a tie: Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace or Henry Miller's Tropic of Cancer. What loads of pretentious garbage!
Let's assume that God is a DJ. What's on his playlist right now?
Joseph White: Joy Electric, a kickin' Christian electropop group.
Who was your favourite teacher in high school? Why?
Joseph White: Fred Donahue. He was a great man with a booming voice who taught world history. He also was the school disciplinarian and a marine drill sergeant. He was known for scaring the wits out of you on the first day of class by storming on the moment the bell rang and bellowing right into the course syllabus and all the way to assigning your final term paper in the first 10 minutes of class. You'd go home thinking "this is going to be tough", but then he spent a week in roundtable discussion hoping to define history while giving you his insight. He's the smartest man I've ever known. He recently got sent to Iraq. He doesn't belong there. He belongs in a classroom teaching high school. That shows you where our country's priorities are right now.
What is your favorite Meg Ryan movie?
Joseph White: She really "shows off her chops" in Joe vs. the Volcano. Oi. (Editor's Note: Insert "shows of her chops"-related joke about In the Cut here.)
What is your favorite "comfort food" when you're on tour?
Joseph White: Rockstar Energy Drink.
Tell us about the least likely place you ever sent a CD/demo. Why did you send it? What happened?
Joseph White: Channing's dad knows the old booking agent for The Association and insists that we should send it to him, but I don't know what that would do for us since he's retired now.
Aliens have just landed, and you get to select the Earth's goodwill ambassador. Who do you pick, and why?
Joseph White: Maybe Steve Harvey? I think they'd like his smile, and they wouldn't be offended by the fact that he has a boring sense of humor since they don't understand him.
You've just been hit in the face with a large chocolate cream pie. How do you react?
Joseph White: I'd ask for a spoon.
Assuming that you must choose one, which would you rather listen to for an hour: Christian rock, mainstream country or Jessica Simpson?
Joseph White: Mainstream country. It's only one hour. I can make it.
What's the deal with those damn raccoons?
Joseph White: Seriously. They're always getting into shit. And they don't realize their true "cute and cuddly" potential because they're too busy being either really mean or really disease-ridden.
Where do you think Osama Bin Laden is hiding and what would it take to get him to come out?
Joseph White: Dude. He's in IRAQ! Don't you listen to anything the president's press secretary tells him? Carpet bombing is going to do the trick. That's how they caught the Unabomber.
What would you consider to be the worst fate imaginable for your music, and which contemporary artist would you most wish this terrible end upon?
Joseph White: Two words: Applebee's Commercial. I wouldn't wish that fate on anyone.
Which reality TV game show could you see yourself as a winning contestant on? Explain.
Joseph White: Wheel of Fortune. And we loooove Pat Sajak! Oh man, what a funny guy.
What is the strangest thing you've ever had for breakfast?
Channing Sargent: I had roasted rattle snake once. It tasted like chicken.
Which non-music related product (i.e. -- no instruments, microphones, etc.) would you most like to be a celebrity spokesperson for?
Joseph White: Either Drambuie liqueur or Michel Cluizel chocolate.
Describe the skankiest, sketchiest place -- whether it's someone's home or a hotel/motel room -- that you've stayed in while on tour.
Joseph White: We stayed in a room at a friend's place in San Francisco. The room's occupant was away at the time. There was shit everywhere -- beer cans, cigarettes, spilled make-up. The floor was completely covered with junk. And the bed! It was stained and sandy with crumbs. We went to Mervyn's and bought our own sheets. But we forgot to get pillow cases, so we had to put t-shirts over the pillows.
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The Somnambulants began with Joseph White. Joseph moved to NY in 1996 to attend film school at NYU's Tisch School of the Arts. Throughout the four-year film-intensive program, his focus on sound design and film scoring sharpened his music writing and recording skills. By 2000, Joseph had turned his energy back on music full time, forming The Somnambulants. Channing Sargent is the second Somnambulant. She is a performance artist with classic piano training. She controls the synthesizer with zeal, stopping only to dance. Her on-stage presence and strong musicianship are a perfect complement to Joseph's front-man presence. Also ex-Tisch/NYU, she graduated from the Experimental Theater Wing in 2000.
-- George Zahora
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