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What band did you listen to most during the eighties? Do you still like them?
Slo-Ro: Hmmm, so five years old to fifteen? Probably a Seals and Crofts record of my folks's. I don't even remember what they sound like. I would probably still like them. I have fairly objective taste. And my older sisters had a copy of Thriller.
What is your worst memory of elementary school? Of high school?
Slo-Ro: In elementary school I once slid belly first down a
splintering wood seesaw. That was awful. In high school I fell over in one of those desk-chair
combos in the middle of class and was trapped underneath it.
You're about to -- ahem -- get lucky. What album is playing in the background? Why'd you choose it?
Slo-Ro: Well, since it is with my wife, it would probably be
something mathy. Math rock is not good for much, but
it makes up for itself considerably in this
department. And Os Mutantes.
Did you go to your high school prom? If so, who did you go with?
Slo-Ro: Yep, went with one of my best friends, Jennifer
Butler, and sprained both my wrists doing a front flip
on the dancefloor. I use to pull the move off fine at
other dance parties, but I hesitated and floundered.
It was a move I learned from Breakin' 2. I spent the
rest of the night with my wrists pressed up against an
ice sculpture.
What movie would you recommend to absolutely anyone? Why?
Slo-Ro: Babe. It's a talking pig. And it's equally cute and
weird.
For reasons we won't bother going into right now, you're going to be locked in the back of a truck for a sixteen hour drive between gigs. If you could have any musician, past or present, back there to keep you company, who would it be?
Slo-Ro: Someone small. Maybe Sammy Davis Jr. I've heard he
would put on six-hour comedy shows. The other 10
hours we could play cards. And I don't know much
about him, but from what little I know he seemed to
have lived an amazing life.
What's the worst band you've ever heard? Why do they suck?
Slo-Ro: I'm not going to disclose their name, but they were
what's called a Doom Metal band. I believe that answers the question.
You're on your way to a show, and all of a sudden you find yourself in the middle of a huge four-way battle between pirates, ninjas, robots and intelligent apes from the future. Your only hope of getting to your gig is to pick a side. Who do you join, and why?
Slo-Ro: Well, pirates are relentless, ninjas are evasive,
robots are undependable (that rules them out), and apes,
while being intelligent, are ill-tempered and smell. I
say pirates. They have character and sing in unison.
If you could sponsor any beverage -- appear in their ads, receive a lifetime supply and never be seen drinking a competing product -- what beverage would it be?
Slo-Ro: Generic brand bottled water. Because good clean drinking water is going to be a
scarce commodity after the meteors hit.
What's the best venue you've ever played? What's the worst? Why?
Slo-Ro: I don't think there is a worst venue. Besides, the
ones that rank low may need to be booked at again. Some
my favorite "venues" we played include Mono in Oslo
Norway, this Jr. High Church service we played at
9:30AM, and Music Art in Napoli, Italy.
What's wrong with Rolling Stone these days?
Slo-Ro: What isn't?
Why are frogs amusing?
Slo-Ro: There is nothing amusing about frogs. In fact, they should be taken very seriously.
You've traveled back in time and met yourself, age sixteen. What do you think?
Slo-Ro: The 16 year-old is saying "Man, what in the world
happened to you?" The 26 year-old is saying, "Man,
what in the world happened to you?"
Which would be worse: three hours on a bus full of four year-olds, or three hours on a bus full of eighty year-olds? Why?
Slo-Ro: I think they would both be pretty amazing experiences. The four year-olds would be more tiring. Both groups
would have plenty to talk about.
The US government is considering far more aggressive regulation of leather pants. Under the new rules, who should or shouldn't be allowed to wear them?
Slo-Ro: Only cows should be allowed to wear leather pants.
17)what food item could you eat every day for the rest of your life without getting bored of it? What's so good about it?
Slo-Ro: My wife makes killer smoothies.
Will the next Star Wars movie suck? Why or why not?
Slo-Ro: Definitely not. You can't judge them by standards of
nostalgia. Clones was much better than the
JarJarMenace. As long as the thing has some inkling
of a plot, Lucas is in good shape.
What topics or statements would inspire you to call in to a talk radio program?
Slo-Ro: Pirates, ninjas, robots and intelligent apes from the future.
What album(s) should everyone be given on their eighteenth birthday?
Slo-Ro: Sun Ra's Atlantis; Ciccione Youth's Whitey Album; Public Enemy's It Takes a Nation of Millions...; Elvis Presley's Self-Titled; Harry Smith's Anthology of American Folk Music; Kraftwerk's Trans-Europe Express and Kato Hideki's Hope and Despair.
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For the last few years, Soul-Junk have been the gold standard of experimental Christian hip-hop -- a circumstance that is unlikely to change.
-- George Zahora
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