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Various religions suggest that there's a "special" hell for certain sins (hurting children, being cruel to animals, using the word "blog" as a verb, etc). Who else needs a "special" hell?
Scott Chapin: Michael Powell of the FCC.
Due to poor financial planning, you've got to eat for an entire week on only US$10. What do you buy, food-wise?
Scott Chapin: Top Ramen and bologna.
What's the biggest misconception that people have about you?
Scott Chapin: That I'm cool.
What's the worst injury you've ever suffered for your art (i.e. second degree burns from shorted-out mic, broken leg from failed stage dive)? Tell us about it.
Scott Chapin: I have two huge chips out of one of my front teeth from years of getting the
microphone smacked into my face from stage divers. The tooth is now
completely dead.
You've got unlimited funding and technical expertise to make an IMAX movie on the topic of your choice. What do you choose? Describe the obligatory vertigo-inducing camera shot that makes the entire audience clutch their stomachs.
Scott Chapin: I would give a tall drunk guy a hat cam. For the climax I would put him on a
bike and send him down a hill.
You've locked your car keys inside the tour van and don't have AAA. How do you get the door open?
Scott Chapin: Depends on how drunk I am. If I'm kind of drunk, patience will prevail and
the window will not get smashed in with a brick.
Ever find useful stuff in the garbage? Describe your best-ever dumpster find and how you used it.
Scott Chapin: I found a file cabinet. I keep all of my cords and crap from my studio in it.
I still have it.
In the UK, trying to kill the Queen is still technically a capital offence. If the Queen tried to commit suicide and failed, could she be sentenced to death? Explain.
Scott Chapin: No, she's the queen, duh!
If you were a 50ft high Tyrannosaurus Rex, would you use your powers for good or evil? Who would you go after first?
Scott Chapin: I would probably have good intentions until my food bill came in and I was
forced to rob a mobile hotdog stand.
You've decided to write a musical. What's it about and who's the star?
Scott Chapin: It's about a 50ft Tyrannosaurus and it stars a bunch of stackable midgets.
What's your favorite board game? Why do you like it?
Scott Chapin: It's 2005, who plays board games? Okay, Monopoly. Because I'm a bastard.
Everyone likes at least one cheesy/crappy song that totally kills their cred. What's yours?
Scott Chapin: "Lost In Love" by Air Supply.
The standard touring vehicle is always a beat-up van. What has been the worst/weirdest method of conveyance you've had to use on a tour?
Scott Chapin: I once dragged two guitars and a bass rig on a cart for 50 blocks. It sucked!
What was the best meal you were supplied by a tour venue? What was the worst?
Scott Chapin: Fried bologna sandwiches, fried bologna sandwiches.
Will it ever truly be possible to "rock the vote", or will apathy, indifference and laziness always triumph over activism?
Scott Chapin: Yes, without a doubt.
You discover a new disease, "(Your name here)'s Syndrome". What are its symptoms? What is the cure for "(Your name here)'s Syndrome"?
Scott Chapin: Scott's syndrome: the symptoms are boredom and surliness. The cure is PBR
and lots of it, stat.
If you could watch one historical event re-enacted by a cast of chimpanzees, which one would it be, and why?
Scott Chapin: The moon landing. Why? Monkees on the moon are funny.
What is the coolest tattoo you've ever seen (and don't choose one of your own)?
Scott Chapin: My friend got loaded and drew a blob on his arm with a homemade tattoo gun
and entered it in a tattoo contest.
How long after an unopened gallon of milk's "use-by" date has passed would you be willing to use it?
Scott Chapin: Milk's gross.
What is the most unusual item you've thrown up on/in?
Scott Chapin: Washing Machine.
Do you prefer the term "underwear" or "underpants"? What does that say about you?
Scott Chapin: Don't wear them.
You've been asked to submit an anecdote or "tip" to a book called Everything I Need to Know About Life I Learned On Tour With My Band. What do you tell them?
Scott Chapin: Don't piss out of a moving van.
What basic freedoms are you prepared to give up in exchange for your and your family's safety?
Scott Chapin: Once you start giving up freedoms, are you truly safe?
Due to a breakthrough in technology, it's possible to learn any skill, no matter how complex, pretty much instantly, by uploading the information directly into your brain (yes, like in The Matrix). Unfortunately, you can only do it once. What skill would you learn, and why?
Scott Chapin: How to fix my f*$#n' car.
Not to be morbid, but let's assume that (a) you've died, and (b) you filled out an organ donor card and potential recipients are lining up. Which part of your body do you think will be most sought-after? Are there any bits no-one will want?
Scott Chapin: I have abused myself pretty thoroughly. I think everything is on the verge
of breakdown.
A long-lost possession has turned up on Ebay, and you're prepared to pay much more than it's worth just to finally get it back. What is it? Why is it worth so much to you?
Scott Chapin: My 67 Dodge Dart that my ex swindled from me a few years back. I loved that
car.
You've been given the resources and financial backing to create a new satellite TV network that caters specifically to your tastes and the tastes of people like you. What's it called, and what does it show?
Scott Chapin: I would have the retarded network. Retarded news, talk shows, sports etc.
The most honest network on TV.
There are literally hundreds of euphemisms for masturbation. What's the best one you've heard?
Scott Chapin: Playin' for the Yankees.
Which is worse: downloading an album and burning copies for five friends, or shoplifting one physical copy of the same CD from an overpriced national retailer? Explain your answer.
Scott Chapin: Downloading and sharing. The artist, or label really, gets paid if you kipe one from a store.
A few years ago, anal sex was still taboo; nowadays it's trendy. What will be the next major sexual taboo to fall?
Scott Chapin: Being able to graphically talk about it on network TV.
What, in your opinion, is the best book ever written? And why?
Scott Chapin: Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. It sound like an incredible adventure into
the chemically absurd.
The USA needs a universal healthcare system. So far, no President has gotten anywhere near implementing one. Why do you think they keep failing? (Bonus: Outline your own plan for universal healthcare in 100 words or less.)
Scott Chapin: Health care is big business -- too much money to lose.
Right this very second, what are you most looking forward to, and why?
Scott Chapin: A roast beef sandwich. It's lunch time.
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Since releasing Livid Vol. I early this year, Supernaut have been touring and stuff. They have a few shows in Oregon this month, if you're not busy.
-- George Zahora
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