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The Ghost's Brian Moss tackles some POINTLESS QUESTIONS

the ghost
The Ghost


Read Splendid's review of This is a Hospital, visit The Ghost's website or buy The Ghost stuff at Insound.

WHAT BAND DID YOU LISTEN TO MOST DURING THE EIGHTIES? DO YOU STILL LIKE THEM?

Brian Moss: I was a wee baby in the eighties, but as a child The Beach Boys definitely had my boom box on lock down. Fuck yes I still like The Beach Boys...

WHAT IS YOUR WORST MEMORY OF ELEMENTARY SCHOOL? OF HIGH SCHOOL?

Brian Moss: In First Grade I got suspended for trying to blow up the school. The bomb consisted of a double-A battery tied to a piece of yarn which was connected to a wind up watch. I really thought it was going to work and I got in a whole bunch of trouble as a result. My first year in High School I wore sweatpants under army cutoff shorts, I suppose that's a bad memory.

YOU'RE ABOUT TO -- AHEM -- GET LUCKY. WHAT ALBUM IS PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND? WHY'D YOU CHOOSE IT?

Brian Moss: I don't like to listen to music when I'm doing it. I do have a little fantasy of throwing on Freaks of the Industry by The Digital Underground some time.

WHAT WAS THE FIRST THING YOU EVER SHOPLIFTED? WHY DID YOU TAKE IT?

Brian Moss: A candy bar, all the cool kids were doing it.

IF YOU COULD BEAT UP ANYONE IN THE WORLD AND GET AWAY WITHOUT THE USUAL ANNOYING REAL-WORLD CONSEQUENCES -- JAIL TIME, LAWSUITS, BAD PRESS, ETC. -- WHO WOULD IT BE, AND WHY?

Brian Moss: This fucking bully kid named John Silva who jumped me a couple times and stole my bus pass for six months straight back when I was a teen.

WHAT'S THE BIGGEST RISK YOU'VE EVER TAKEN? WHY DID YOU TAKE IT?

Brian Moss: I think the most life-endangering situations I've put myself in involve a couple of tour drives in ridiculously bad weather. The type of blizzard conditions where every quarter mile there is an accident or a car in a ditch. We had to be at a show so we drove on. I've taken plenty of other risks, but as far as me worrying about my life those drives take the cake.

IT'S BETTER TO REGRET SOMETHING YOU HAVE DONE THAN IT IS TO REGRET SOMETHING YOU HAVEN'T DONE. WHAT DO YOU REGRET DOING (OTHER THAN AGREEING TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS)? WHY DID YOU DO IT?

Brian Moss: It's better to regret something you haven't done. I regret so many things, I'd rather not get into that. Nothing particular is instantly popping into my head.

DID YOU GO TO YOUR HIGH SCHOOL PROM? IF SO, WHO DID YOU GO WITH?

Brian Moss: My ex-girlfriend Megan Nelson, she was a sweetheart.

WHAT MOVIE WOULD YOU RECOMMEND TO ABSOLUTELY ANYONE? WHY?

Brian Moss: Donnie Darko, it's brilliant and it hits close home. Go rent it or shoot yourself.

FOR REASONS WE WON'T BOTHER GOING INTO RIGHT NOW, YOU'RE GOING TO BE LOCKED IN THE BACK OF A TRUCK FOR A SIXTEEN HOUR DRIVE BETWEEN GIGS. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY MUSICIAN, PAST OR PRESENT, BACK THERE TO KEEP YOU COMPANY, WHO WOULD IT BE?

Brian Moss: I've actually been locked up in the back of a camper shell with not enough room to sit up straight, with no air conditioning for 13 hours en route from the Bay area to Phoenix, AZ. It was horrible. I wish Willie Nelson would have been there with me.

WHAT IS YOUR STRONGEST, MOST UNSHAKEABLE BELIEF?

Brian Moss: I suppose I have strong beliefs and intentions in regards to equality (ethnically, class wise and socially). I'm somewhat of a Unitarian and that has had a strong influence on my beliefs as well.

WHAT'S THE WORST BAND YOU'VE EVER HEARD? WHY DO THEY SUCK?

Brian Moss: Oh my, there are so many. How about Creed -- please let them drive their tour bus off a cliff. I don't even think I need to give you folks reasons in regards to their "horribility".

IF YOU WERE A PORN STAR, WHAT WOULD YOUR "PORN NAME" BE?

Brian Moss: Scratch Lake.

YOU'RE ON YOUR WAY TO A SHOW, AND ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU FIND YOURSELF IN THE MIDDLE OF A HUGE FOUR-WAY BATTLE BETWEEN PIRATES, NINJAS, ROBOTS AND INTELLIGENT APES FROM THE FUTURE. YOUR ONLY HOPE OF GETTING TO YOUR GIG IS TO PICK A SIDE. WHO DO YOU JOIN, AND WHY?

Brian Moss: Pirates undoubtedly, the life of Pirate is a good life indeed.

IF YOU COULD SPONSOR ANY BEVERAGE -- APPEAR IN THEIR ADS, RECEIVE A LIFETIME SUPPLY AND NEVER BE SEEN DRINKING A COMPETING PRODUCT -- WHAT BEVERAGE WOULD IT BE?

Brian Moss: Kerns' Guava Nectar, I love that stuff!

WHAT'S THE BEST VENUE YOU'VE EVER PLAYED? WHAT'S THE WORST? WHY?

Brian Moss: Fireside Bowl in Chicago gets the number one slot -- it's like Gilman St. without the bullshit, plus there is a bar. The worst would maybe be...The Pound in San Francisco. This guy Gavin over there is a piece of shit.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH ROLLING STONE THESE DAYS?

Brian Moss: How about the fact that they wear Depends? Diapers and rock and roll don't mix too well. (Editor's note: roughly half of the respondents to this question believed it to be about The Rolling Stones rather than Rolling Stone, the magazine. Odd.)

WHY ARE FROGS AMUSING?

Brian Moss: Frogs aren't amusing, but they are fun to watch and play with. I like tadpoles as well.

YOU'VE TRAVELED BACK IN TIME AND MET YOURSELF, AGE SIXTEEN. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Brian Moss: What a dork I am!

WHICH WOULD BE WORSE: THREE HOURS ON A BUS FULL OF FOUR YEAR-OLDS, OR THREE HOURS ON A BUS FULL OF EIGHTY YEAR-OLDS? WHY?

Brian Moss: Four year olds would be worse. The old people might have some good stories to pass the time with.

THE US GOVERNMENT IS CONSIDERING FAR MORE AGGRESSIVE REGULATION OF LEATHER PANTS. UNDER THE NEW RULES, WHO SHOULD OR SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED TO WEAR THEM?

Brian Moss: Only old school metalheads will be allowed to wear leather pants -- oh, and bikers as well.

WHAT, IN YOUR OPINION, IS THE BEST PORN?

Brian Moss: Seven Deadly Sins.

WHAT FOOD ITEM COULD YOU EAT EVERY DAY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITHOUT GETTING BORED OF IT? WHAT'S SO GOOD ABOUT IT?

Brian Moss: Potatoes, they never go out of style and there are so many preparation options.

WILL THE NEXT STAR WARS MOVIE SUCK? WHY OR WHY NOT?

Brian Moss: I'm sure it will look excellent. Natalie Portman will make me drool, however I'm sure the acting and storyline will lack.

HOW MANY ROADS MUST A MAN WALK DOWN BEFORE THEY CALL HIM A MAN?

Brian Moss: One road, the road less traveled.

EVERYONE'S REPLACING THEIR LEAST-FAVORITE BODY PARTS WITH CYBERNETIC REPLACEMENTS. WHICH PART(S) OF YOUR BODY WOULD YOU REPLACE?

Brian Moss: My nose, it's huge. I'm half Jewish, that's why.

WHAT TOPICS OR STATEMENTS WOULD INSPIRE YOU TO CALL IN TO A TALK RADIO PROGRAM?

Brian Moss: Jordan (bass player in The Ghost) crank-called a Evangelist talk show and got on the air. It was amazing. The DJ referred to himself as Rev. T-Bone and saved Jordan on the air. That was somewhere in Orange County.

WHAT ALBUM(S) SHOULD EVERYONE BE GIVEN ON THEIR EIGHTEENTH BIRTHDAY?

Brian Moss: Snoop Dog's Doggystyle.

· · · · · · ·

As we write this, The Ghost are in the middle of a short tour with The Exit and Christiansen. By the time you read it, they'll be done. Lead time is a bugger, isn't it? Watch for a split single, and probably some more stuff, from The Ghost in the near future.

-- George Zahora


Splendid is always looking for artists and bands who can answer our Pointless Questions quickly and cleverly. We mostly do them by e-mail, so they're quick and painless...unless you can't type. E-mail us for more information!

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