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What band did you listen to most during the eighties?
Do you still like them?
Dylan Metrano: Prince. I absolutely still like the stuff Prince did in the eighties. I have dozens of bootleg tapes still. The stuff he's doing now isn't as interesting, but I saw him live a year ago, and it was great.
What is your worst memory of elementary school? Of high school?
Dylan Metrano: I have no memory of elementary school. The worst memory of high school is going skiing down this really small "mountain", and having my ski pop off and hit me on the head. I spent the rest of the day in a daze with my hair all matted with blood.
You're about to -- ahem -- get lucky. What album is playing in the background? Why'd you choose it?
Dylan Metrano: Vincent Gallo's Recordings of Music for Film. It's good to have on while you're doing something else. I'm also more and more interested in scores for film -- something I will hopefully be getting into soon.
What was the first thing you ever shoplifted? Why did you take it?
Dylan Metrano: Never.
If you could beat up anyone in the world and get away without the usual annoying real-world consequences --jail time, lawsuits, bad press, etc. -- who would it be, and why?
Dylan Metrano: I'm not a violent person, but hypothetically, it would be the landlord pimp I rented from when I was 19 who screwed me out of my security deposit, then scared me out of the courthouse when I took him to small-claims court.
What's the biggest risk you've ever taken? Why did you take it?
Dylan Metrano: Moved to Kansas. For love, L-U-V.
It's better to regret something you have done than it is to regret something you haven't done. What do you regret doing (other than agreeing to answer these questions)? Why did you do it?
Dylan Metrano: I regret letting my first band, Hamlet Idiot, disintegrate. It was so satisfying, and we made some amazing music, that didn't get the exposure it deserved.
Did you go to your high school prom? If so, who did you go with?
Dylan Metrano: No. Though I wrote a song once that imagined that I had.
What movie would you recommend to absolutely anyone? Why?
Dylan Metrano: Santa Sangre. Because it's really scary and creepy,
and most scary movies aren't really very scary.
For reasons we won't bother going into right now, you're going to be locked in the back of a truck for a sixteen hour drive between gigs. If you could have any musician, past or present, back there to keep you company, who would it be?
Dylan Metrano: James Brown. The stories he could tell...
What is your strongest, most unshakeable belief?
Dylan Metrano: I am completely in charge of my own destiny.
What's the worst band you've ever heard? Why do they
suck?
Dylan Metrano: Rage Against the Machine, for their blatant hypocrisy, weak funk, soft metal, and pandering to mulletheads. A German goth-pop star called Him is a close second.
If you were a porn star, what would your "porn name" be?
Dylan Metrano: According to the schoolyard formula, Isis Carter. If I could come up with it, maybe Bashful Benny.
You're on your way to a show, and all of a sudden you find yourself in the middle of a huge four-way battle between pirates, ninjas, robots and intelligent apes from the future. Your only hope of getting to your gig is to pick a side. Who do you join, and why?
Dylan Metrano: I've had both pirate and ninja phases before. I guess the ninjas are probably the ones to side with.
If you could sponsor any beverage -- appear in their ads, receive a lifetime supply and never be seen drinking a competing product -- what beverage would it be?
Dylan Metrano: Orange juice. Tropicana.
What's the best venue you've ever played? What's the worst? Why?
Dylan Metrano: The Gloucester (MA) Artspace is my favorite. The old stage used to be in a room that was built like a paper-mache jungle, complete with trees and animals... All the walls, floor and ceiling. It was really fun to be there. Worst venue -- maybe the Baystate Hotel in Northampton, MA, because of the hecklers and the not paying us.
What's wrong with Rolling Stone these days?
Dylan Metrano: Content dictated by advertising.
Why are frogs amusing?
Dylan Metrano: I don't think frogs are amusing. But The Frogs are
pretty funny.
You've traveled back in time and met yourself, age sixteen. What do you think?
Dylan Metrano: I spend too much money on comic books.
Which would be worse: three hours on a bus full of four year-olds, or three hours on a bus full of eighty year-olds? Why?
Dylan Metrano: Eighty year-olds. Kids are endlessly entertaining. The elderly aren't the best travelling partners. I'd bring a book.
The US government is considering far more aggressive regulation of leather pants. Under the new rules, who should or shouldn't be allowed to wear them?
Dylan Metrano: You must have hair like Jim Morrison or Michael
Hutchence.
What, in your opinion, is the best porn?
Dylan Metrano: The home-made kind.
What food item could you eat every day for the rest of your life without getting bored of it? What's so good about it?
Dylan Metrano: Cereal. I do it every day. I don't know what's so good about it. It's easy and quick to prepare, and it tastes so good.
Will the next Star Wars movie suck? Why or why not?
Dylan Metrano: I skipped the last one. It'll probably be okay, like
the rest. They should forgo the movie, and just make
it a ride. A really good ride.
How many roads must a man walk down before they call him a man?
Dylan Metrano: Hippie.
Everyone's replacing their least-favorite body parts with cybernetic ones. Which part(s) of your body would you replace?
Dylan Metrano: Hmmm. my eyes, so I can see better.
What topics or statements would inspire you to call in to a talk radio program?
Dylan Metrano: Maybe if someone was saying crazy stuff about my town,
or someone I knew.
What album(s) should everyone be given on their eighteenth birthday?
Dylan Metrano: Rodan's Rusty for boys, and Cat Power's Moon Pix for
girls.
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Tiger Saw is a band from Massachusetts. They play songs of innocence and songs of experience. Whispers, waltzes, and bedroom tempest songs. Jazz in concept, though not in execution. In performance, the songs take on different identities, changing shape as different players enter and leave the fold. The recordings are tense and intense -- like a first kiss.
-- George Zahora
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